Poll: What conditions did u get married in?

[emotionsmessmeup]

Who had the upper hand..you or your partner..?

Are u male or female?

Did u / ur partner know from the beginning (pre-determined) that they wanna marry you..or did it build up?

[Merin]

LOL

 

My Now EXH asked me to marry him on the second date For real!

 

I actually wasn't into him when I first met him... he seemed nice and all I just wasn't all about it..

I actually went out with him the first time because he had been so persistant in asking me out all of the time.

 

The first time he met me he had called him Mom and told her he had met the girl he was going to marry... and as I said asked me to marry him on the second date...

 

After we started dating seriously he moved in with me and kept after me about wanting to get married... I told him I wanted to live together for a year at least and see where we were at... we got married a year after he moved in.

 

I divorced him almost 3 years ago.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Timeline:

 

1. Met, made friends, had sex, got pregnant. (All in a months time! Crazy times. Hazy, crazy days...)

2. Stayed together, and six months into the pregnancy gave birth (preemie).

3. Bonded further at the NICU, got to really know each other when stripped down to our basic humanities watching that baby struggle to live through procedures, blood transfusions, breathing treatments, etc. (lasted three months).

4. The day before she came home from the hospital, Mr. B took me on the back steps and said that he couldn't imagine life without me, and our daughter and wanted it to be permanent. I was SHOCKED. We had pretty much agreed to be 'parenting partners' and lovers, and had toyed with the idea of marriage, but I wasn't aware he was interested in marriage. I just assumed he wasn't. I agreed to marry.

5. The Friday and weekend before she was due to be discharged from the hospital, we got a license, picked up some rings, and contacted the chaplin at the hospital, and invited our friends.

6. The day of discharge, our friends gathered at the chapel in the hospital and we became the first wedding in the hospital chapel. Then, we went upstairs and got our daughter and went home a family.

 

All of that happened in less than a year's time. We have spent our subsequent years growing together. The odds where stacked against us big time, but we married with a complete understanding that it was all going to be 'playing it by ear' and not forcing what we had into some artificial mold of "what marriage ought to be" because our entire relationship was unorthodox. No sense in pretending that putting on rings and signing a piece of paper would magically make us Mr. and Mrs. Normal. We are best friends, and our priorities are different than most married couples but we are on the same page about those priorities. Our views on number of issues would shock the average Joe and Josie Welladjusted, but it works for us. We look forward to growing old and cantankerous together.

[TUDOR]

Loved your story LucreziaBorgia!

 

From a male point of view I think any control I had was lost once I did my part of proposing and giving her the ring. We dated for over 2 yrs when she started asking when, when, when are we going to get married. I knew I wanted to marry her but I had to work on the ring situation. The ring took me several months and I finally asked her. I felt like I had control of the timing and direction it was going up until that point.

 

Now enter the mother-n-law with her big fatty fat wallet and promises to give her daughter the wedding of her dreams but that she is paying for it so we have to live with her decisions. At that instant I insisted we just go to Mexico, Hawaii or any where to do this on our own. But wife had to have the big wedding, etc. and so the saga continues! The next few months was spent calming my soon to be wife down because her and her mom where at odds with each other. Sure I was involved and participated but I was under no illusions as to myself having any kind of control over the wedding. My wedding plans involvement included picking out my tux and planning the honeymoon. That was it!

 

Hope that answers your question but as far as knowing, I didn't know right away and I don't think she did either. We had both been hurt before and we took it slow with no expectations. Once we let our guards down enough to really enjoy each other I think we knew we had a keepers. We let a solid a foundation build before taking the next step to build upon that.

[HokeyReligions]

We met where I worked -- I was in college and working PT doing survey's in a mall. I interviewed him about a product. He asked me out for coffee after work. We sat in a restaurant for hours just talking. He kissed me goodbye at the car and said he'd call. I never doubted that he would.

 

I was sharing an apartment w/ my mom (we had just moved in together a few months before) and when I got home she asked me how it was and I said "If I ever get married -- he's the one"

 

Two years later we got married. I worked half a day and got married in the afternoon. It rained. My brother showed up to our apartment for the "reception" (pizza and a 2-tier wedding cake!) wearing bib-overalls and a flannel shirt and BB cap (talk about redneck)! The dog we had given him a couple of months prior had died and he was dealing with that which was why he was late. I didn't find out about it until after we got back from our honeymoon. I'll always remember that the day we got married LB died. LB (Little Boy) was a stray that my mom picked up and we kept---except he didn't like our apartment and was chewing it apart and my brother and SIL said they wanted him. LB loved it there and was very happy.

 

Mom stayed at our apartment with our other two dogs and we went to Galveston for a long weekend. Spent our wedding night picking up stray dogs (2 -- the 3rd one got away) and finding shelter for them.

 

That was over 20 years ago. We're still married. We have five dogs now -- all rescues -- and we continue to take in strays and find homes for them. Hubby conceded to that and it was my compassion for animals and dogs in particular that he fell in love with first and that changed him the most.

 

We are equal in our marriage -- no one is the "leader".