Going broke

[DudeMan27]

I'm basically out of money. A year and half ago I was laid off from a job I really liked. I worked from home, made pretty good money and enjoyed it. With that job I managed to build my savings up to $8,000. More than I've ever had saved in my life. When I lost my job, I didn't panic as I had my savings, a good bit in my checking and unemployment coming in. I told myself I wouldn't allow it to get to this point. I wanted to take a month or two off, have some fun and begin job searching.

 

 

In that time, being home alone all day in the middle of winter while everyone worked, bored, I became a little depressed. A started drinking a lot and started to stuggle getting out of bed before 2pm. Then those days, I'd be angry at myself for wasting my whole day, become depressed again so would start drinking to pass the night. With the drinking, I of course gained weight. Spring and summer came and I was embarrassed by the weight gain and didn't like to go out much because of that. It all started to spiral out of control, I was job searching, but I didn't want to start working until I go into shape (also because all my good clothes didn't fit me anymore) I let time fly by and the UE benefits ran out. So for my bills I dipped into the savings all while not being able to get myself in shape or stop drinking and eating junk. The time came where I just had to get any job because I was running out of money. That job was a nightmare. I was really underqualified and couldn't hack it, not to mention I was still hanging on to a lot of my sadness from before. I quit. I had too.

 

 

At the beginning of Summer I took a PT job for money, it was basically all I could find. But I work 30hrs a week and 4am-10am, so at worst, I would have money coming in to cover bills and the day to job search and go on interviews. Turns out the hours aren't even close to what they told me. I'm getting MAYBE 15 hours a week. I'm having zero luck finding any jobs in my area and any job I do find the money isn't worth the commute or relocating.

 

What I'm getting at tho is just asking for experiences from anyone that's pulled themselves out of a situation like this. My mom has loaned me some money and helped me with bills, but I'm 33, this isn't acceptable. I feel pathetic having to take her money. Which just adds to my depression.

 

 

The main thing that makes me sad tho is how much of the last year I completely pissed away. What I promised myself I wasn't going to do. When I lost that job I had a vision of enjoying a bit of freedom, clearing my mind, doing some soul searching of where I really wanted to go in my life. I did none of that. I feel into this wormhole of weight gain, laziness and barely leaving the house. I blew nearly every dime I saved up. I could have traveled. I could have gone back to school. I could have tried something new like finding a job at the beach, if even for a short while. I had a nice nest egg built up to help fund any of that,and I never ever did it. Im single with no responsibilities.

 

 

I can't get over wasting all that time and money. And on top of it, Im stuggling to dig my way out. Theres not a job in my area that wouldnt have me living paycheck to paycheck and I certainly cant build my savings back up. Relocating for a job is an option, but that's kind of tough when you have less than 300.00 to your name for gas, and a place to live. I'm getting into shape, drinking less, but cant shake the guilt. Anyone got any advice, I would greatly appreciate any of it.

[d0nnivain]

Pick up another PT job. It's not ideal but you will have more money coming in.

 

 

Draw up a budget -- down to the penny. See what you can cut. There are tons of websites that help with this. Search works like thrifty & penny pincher.

 

 

Join an unemployment support group. Many churches have them.

 

 

Make a point to job hunt every day: send in 5-10 OL applications on all the big sites per day; go to at least 1 job fair per month; go back to the agency where you got your UE & see if they have a jobs list or coaching; reach back to former contacts to see if they have leads.

 

 

Hang in there. Good luck.

[futureglory263]

hey there dude man. sorry to hear about the tough situation you're going through =/ it's not easy when you're walking along a high ridge and you fall into the depths of a canyon. right now, things are just overwhelming, especially when you look at what you've had...totally understandable!

 

if i were in your situation, what would help me personally is a change in perspective.. yes, i might have "wasted" most of the year, but i know i need to change and work towards working back up out of the canyon, if not, i know that things won't magically change. and yes, you might get lucky where you find a nice, well-paying job and you'd be able to get out of this hole pretty much right away. chances are though, you will need to find a lower-paying job, or a part time job and work towards specific goals (being really disciplined about it) and working your way through it.

 

because things are overwhelming right now, maybe it might help to set specific, time-oriented goals that you think you will be able to meet? all of these smaller goals can help you lead to the eventual goal of financial independence, stability, etc. practically speaking, right now this may look like something like this: (just examples)

 

-by the end of this month, i'll start working on a budget for september. (by the way, i personally use this one- Free Personal Budget Template for Excel | PowerPoint Presentation)

 

-by the end of october, i'll have X amount of money saved up

 

- by the end of this year, i'll start to think about relocation

 

again, these are just examples, but practical smaller goals that you can start working towards the bigger goal of financial security/independence. be careful though of being sure you set goals that are manageable enough to you.

 

and hey, if you need to have your mom loan you money, so be it! as you imply.. once you make the money you will be paying her back so it's not like you're freeloading off her. if you feel comfortable, confide in her of your plans and goals so she can help you and keep you accountable! again, it helps to be really disciplined about it. cut out drinking completely if you have to. walk instead of driving if you have to.

 

all in all, it's easy to be tough on yourself and to wallow in guilt, to think about the "what if's," but..that's generally not helpful and can hinder us from achieving our goals effectively. but it happens to all of us! we just need to recognize it and deal with it effectively. for me, it always helps me to stay positive... you may have felt like you "wasted" this past 10-12 months (or what have you). but i'm sure you have learned some valuable life lessons? and because of this, you are in that much a better person to relate to, and help those who are going through similar situations and just as importantly, to face similar problems with greater confidence in the future. wishing you all the best!

[angel.eyes]

Lots of people have fallen into the same trap when they stop working. The good news: you've caught yourself drifting off-course and are righting the ship.

 

Put yourself on a set schedule with clear daily and weekly goals.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Stop spending money on stupid $#!7 like: alcohol, energy drinks, tobacco, etc That crap adds up fast. Stop buying expensive processed & unhealthy food. Stop eating out. If you have a car, try working a pizza delivery job until you can get the job you want.

[robaday]

Cant really help you with the work thing. But I have finally started saving quite a lot of money past two years when in the past I was running up big credit card debt and thought on my salary it was impossible to save. Dont know if it will help but these are changes I made:

 

Stopped going to a gym and began working out at home - bodyweight exercises, running, skipping. I have since joined a university gym which does discounts to local community at half price of other gyms.

 

Bought all my groceries at local wholesale markets instead of supermarkets - no brands, fresh produce, and a third of the price

 

Began buying only private label (own brand) essentials instead of brands when did go to supermarket - this includes sugar, porridge, rice, soup, muesli, pasta, washing powder, washing up liquid - seriously its the same stuff just packaged different - might not seem like much but you are shaving $40 every time you go into a store

 

Stopped buying drinks outside the home/during the normal working day - I carry a reusable bottle of water around with me all day - was spending $30 a week on coca cola

 

Went out drinking later - instead of meeting my friends at seven pm I would meet them at ten pm to save the money spent on drinks

 

Began walking home several days a week saving bus fair

 

Began doing freelance journalism to earn extra $ on side

 

Found a hobby to replace drinking (in my case boxing, but could be anything sport related as its cheap)

 

All in all just making those minor changes to my lifestyle has saved me a fortune - I still eat the same as always, I still drink occasionally but moderately, I still use the train some days and Ill still have a coca cola on the weekend:)

[Els]

Sorry to hear that, OP. But what's done is done, no point beating yourself up over it. Focus on the future instead.

 

I don't honestly understand your statement: "there's not a job in my area that wouldnt have me living paycheck to paycheck and I certainly cant build my savings back up". If you really save your pennies, even a minimum wage job can afford you some savings, especially if you are living in a smaller town with lower rent (and if you are living in a big city, there must be better jobs out there).

 

Are you living in your own house/apartment? Consider getting a roommate, huge savings there. And if you haven't already, you have to stop drinking - alcohol is expensive.

[Maxtor]

Im on the same path as you. In my country, most people live from pay check to pay check, I mean, survive. I refuse to work under these conditions, its slavery. Right now now my country as 1 million unnemployed. I feel like I dont belong in this planet. Why do I have to work 10 hours, 5 days a week, different schedules and days, for 550 dollars? Rent here alone costs 250\300.

 

This made me really depressed, cause the world is the way it is because we allowed it to be. I dont want to allow it anymore. This made me a solitaire person, because no one thinks like me. I see my friends barely surviving and they work so many hours. Why? So we get laid off eventually?

 

Man, Im with you. Im really depressed by this world. People are so egotistical.

 

Didnt plan to hijack your thread, Im just here to say im with you.

[Tayla]

basically decrease spending. Increase income.

 

From what your saying the income is where the challenge is being stalled.

 

If the area doesn't carry open work and you have exhausted the part time avenues, consider moving . Go where the money is. Sell some items, take on a small family loan and get a foot up to a more stable lifestyle.

 

I've been in your shoes and that merry go round is depressing. Step off, regroup your goals . Sincerely wish you better days... let today be the start.

[Mr Scorpio]

Well sir, I just got laid off, so we are in the same proverbial boat. Although I've got 3 years on you and no parent to borrow from.

 

Other posters have already provided quality advice. I'm just here to let you know you aren't alone in such an ordeal.

[Diezel]

First thing: You can either continue to feel sorry for yourself, or you can do something about it.

 

Nothing else is going to change until you address that.

[Maxtor]

First thing: You can either continue to feel sorry for yourself, or you can do something about it.

 

Nothing else is going to change until you address that.

What if people are clinically depressed?

[Diezel]

What if people are clinically depressed?

 

Did you read ALL of his post? Like I did?

Because you are pretty much grasping at straws here.

I love how a LOT of people are so quick to believe that EVERYTHING is so quickly linked to medical reasons instead of self-motivation. Not everything negative in life is a condition.

[Maxtor]

Did you read ALL of his post? Like I did?

Because you are pretty much grasping at straws here.

I love how a LOT of people are so quick to believe that EVERYTHING is so quickly linked to medical reasons instead of self-motivation. Not everything negative in life is a condition.

Hey brah, relax, I was just asking a question. Some people can get self-motivated, but if others shut them down, and if your personality and yes if you have chemical discrepancies on your brain, it will all come down. Im not saying take anti-depressants or whatever, some of these problems can be solved with social activities, like martial arts.

[mrs rubble]

Give up the alcohol all together, I stopped drinking 7weeks ago and have noticed a lift in both my mood and energy levels, not to mention my physical health. I haven't lost weight yet as I've been feeding the sugar cravings with licorice, but I've definitely noticed I'm less bloated.

If you can do the same, you'll be in better physical, mental and financial shape to make and keep plans for the future.

 

Good luck.