jobe23 Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 My gf barely calls me anymore. There are times when nearly a week goes by and there is no communication. Sex has also become a rarity. She admitted last year that there was someone she was attracted to at work, but nothing happened. Without her knowledge, I have been tracking her personal emails and noticed that this "guy" seems to be in love with her, but that she is not interested (however, has not told him she has a bf). But the past year has been a cycle of no calls, then me getting mad, then meeting up and her making promises of change - BUT the next week it is the same story. For instance, she makes plans to got to a hotel for the weekend, and does not call me until the end of the weekend blaming a three day no show on a "migraine." Excuses for not calling have been "extremely busy at work." However, by tracking her email's, I have found that there have been Fridays or Saturdays that she told me she was working when she was actually out with friends. I am at the end of my rope with this, especially since she promised to join a family function we had invited her to and canceled at the last minute. Since then, it has been a week and a half with no phone calls. Does it sound like she is cheating? Lost interest? If so, why does she beg that I keep her, yet push me so far away. What should my next move be? I still love her, and want things to work; I have been patient but my patience is also thinning. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 W W You've been reading her personal email for how long without her Knowledge? I'm curious if you think thats okay to do? Regardless.. IF you've felt it neccessary to hack your GF's email obviously there isn't a lot of trust in the relationship.. it sounds like on both sides.. IME without trust there isn't the possibility of this going anywhere good.. My advice.. tell your GF what you've been doing, let her know what you've read and see what she has to say about it.. Could be that she will be so pissed off that you read her personal mail that she will want to end the relationship, could be you will finally get some clarity as to whats going on with her and the 2 of you will work it out.. but either way the deciet on both ends needs to be resolved.. damn this kinda crap would eat me the f*ck up! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author jobe23 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 While I have been reading her email messages...The password she gave me. It was not like I stole it, and she had given it to me as a token of trust. However, when she told me of this "other person," was when I decided to look at the emails. Only when she revealed that she had been hiding things. Thanks for the response, but you have concentrated on the email and my "deceit" and not answered my question. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by jobe23 Without her knowledge, I have been tracking her personal emails Without her Knowledge, Implies without her permission as well.. Originally posted by jobe23 While I have been reading her email messages...The password she gave me. It was not like I stole it, and she had given it to me as a token of trust. Thanks for the response, but you have concentrated on the email and my "deceit" and not answered my question. I'm not concentrating on YOUR deciet.. I'm pointing out to you that there isn't trust in your relationship on EITHER side her's or yours. It's next to impossible to have a good relationship without trust. You've read information regarding what you're GF is doing that she isn't aware you've read.. she's lied to you about where she's been and what she's been doing and now you're somewhat stuck in a place of knowing she's not telling you the truth but trying to find a way of letting her know without also letting her know HOW you know.. There isn't any way of knowing for certain if your GF is cheating on you or not.. based on her behaviour that you've explained it doesn't look good... but based on your behaviour as well perhaps your GF doesn't tell you a lot of things out of fear that you'll be angry.. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 She doesn't sound like she is in love with you, but you never know. Maybe she is really busy. Why don't YOU call her for a week? How does it happen that you don't communicate? How did she act before and for how long have the two of you been together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jobe23 Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 Yes, the trust has been fading. But how could it not when your girlfriend tells you that she has feelings for someone else? And, when she tells you that she loves you and wants a future with you, but right now she must "prove" something to herself by plunging into work. I have been with her for 3 and a half years, and this seems to have been going on for the past two. However, the past year has been pretty much the worst. In the beginning of the relationship, we talked a great deal and were very open from the start. Communication was very important...we even shared a "communication" book to write to each other things we thought we could not say in person. What if I did not call her for a week or so? What that be wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Originally posted by jobe23 What if I did not call her for a week or so? What that be wrong? No, it wouldn't. Go for it. She'll definitely notice. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Cheating or not, its apparent she's slipping away from you emotionally. You are just now beginning to see the end stages of that long, slow 'falling out of love' process. It is unfortunate that the victims only get to see it when its too late. I think anything you do now will just be delaying the inevitable. You would do well to not call her or contact her for at least a full week, at the very least. That will allow you to begin to get your head clear for the upcoming events. Link to post Share on other sites
Cecelius Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 You're done. A woman in love will make some type of effort to see you/contact you, etc., no matter how busy she is (you should have broken up when she said something about her friend; life's too short for fickle people). Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Looks bad, I'm afraid. I agree with not contacting her for a week - don't get in touch, and don't return any of her calls, emails, or messages. Don't even snoop on her email. Go out and party with the boys (but stay away from other women!), or hang out with your parents or something, just to take your mind off things. Then see what happens - did she try and get in touch? Did she totally ignore you? You'll have a good idea how she feels about you then. Link to post Share on other sites
lostinmyself Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius A woman in love will make some type of effort to see you/contact you, etc., no matter how busy she is I agree. A week and a half, c'mon. Originally posted by mental_traveller I agree with not contacting her for a week - don't get in touch, and don't return any of her calls, emails, or messages. Don't even snoop on her email. I agree. She'll definitely wonder what you've been up to and either call you or not. Then you'll have your answer. (Unless, of course, you gave her your passwords as well.) Link to post Share on other sites
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