I am always going through some "emotional battle" or drama... How can I change?

[Driver]

I feel like, for the past few years, my life is full of a lot of mini dramas, situations I obsess about, or mini emotional breakdowns. My mom recently made this observation and I realized -- she's right. For example, some of the things I have obsessed about or gotten upset about in the past month -- obsessing about (and complaining about) studying for my medical boards, talking crap about my sister and family for putting a lot of demands on me, feeling fat, my face going temporarily paralyzed after a dental procedure (true story), having strings of days of not being able to sleep and being upset to a point of almost breaking down about that, having to drive four hours for a birthday party then turning around halfway there because the drive upset me, worrying about health issues (fatigue in particular... And obsessing about finding the reason behind the fatigue). Like a bunch of stupid, small things. I guess some of the things are out of my control, but I think I can be overwhelming to friends and family because if something is going on with me, all of them know about it. If I'm going through something stressful, I have to complain/vent/cry to at least a couple people about it. Luckily, my amazing boyfriend and friends always seem to support me, but I can't help but wonder if they're going to realize that I am a "toxic" person. Or if they think that.

 

The last thing I want to do is be a toxic, overwhelming, negative person. Does anyone have any experience or suggestions for me? Maybe a new perspective? Right now, it seems my only solution is to try to hold things inside, but I feel like that will just backfire.

[pie2]

When I read 'studying for medical boards', I hear EXHAUSTION.

 

When will you be done with your medical boards? After that's over, do you think your life will have a lot less stress? Your moods would most likely improve dramatically when that is off your shoulders.

 

In the meantime, prayer (or meditation) has proven benefits to changing our thought patterns. Exercise helps with physical and emotional states (can you play a team sport like soccer, or do you like swimming, jogging or biking?). And diet is very important (eat a balanced diet, and avoid stimulants like caffeine).

[Driver]

Thank you so much for your kindness. As I was writing that I thought "wow, I am a self absorbed person" but when I reread it objectively I could see it was written by someone clearly stressed.

 

I finished my boards on Monday, finally. I am not a physician, rather I am becoming a physician assistant (like a nurse practitioner but trained in the same model as doctors). So I am not pretending to be under the same amount of stress as a physician in training but these past few years of PA school have been incredibly demanding, as I am basically expected to now function as a health care provider and provide the same care a doctor does but with expedited training!

 

I will start my first job (as an ER PA) in a few months so I can't anticipate that the stress will lessen.

[pie2]

Driver, that's an incredible accomplishment!! Well done .

 

An ER PA position will have a whole different level of stress associated with it, imo. Studying can be an unending pressure and weight in life. But actual practice seems stressful due to the responsibilities you'll have. But studying and working can be difficult, in different ways.

 

Hopefully with a job you might have more structure to your day, and can hopefully take care to schedule in healthful activities.