m.snow Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 since this is a full blown divorce, ~Talk to your attorney, since you got cash talk to another one. just for second opinion. ~This is serious, no more willy nilly and acting on your emotions. you must be cold and methodical and focus on the financial impact of the divorce. -That plan(going to casino) from your stbxww goes to show she is on the other side plus more. Do not ever dig more about her. cause damn. Again ~Did you talk about your attorney? on the fact the you left the marital home and have a new residence, before the divorce or papers were served. (cause that looks like on the courts eyes as abandonment). Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 (edited) check with your lawyer about, cutting her from your phone plan. and removing your name from her car insurance or taking her car. in another forum bh who took his stbxww phone and car. i assure you did not end well for the bh lost custody of his children to a mentally impaired,alcoholic,dui,heroine addict stbxww. so talk with your attorney and get a second opinion. don't start taking stuff away until after the divorce. remember that the divorce court system is against hard working married men. yes "is against". believe that this will be an uphill battle. set your expectations that man will only get 50% custody of his children. don't ever accept anything less than 50% custody. best option for no trigger's is to sell the house. split profit 50/50 you dont want that scenario where another man is playing daddy to your family in your old home. best to already start with co-parenting counseling. by yourself as to now how to proceed with being a divorced father. Edited September 11, 2015 by m.snow Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I don't advise cutting her off financially right now. Pay the bills and give her a monthly allowance for food etc. You'll just end up looking mean and she'll use it against you and to turn others against you. Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I didn't get the idea that he intended to completely cut her off. I believe his plan was to limit the amount she could access or over spend. In other word- not creating more debt. And when her access is limited she also get a clear message that he's not supporting her bad behavior by continuing to throw money at her. Yes, I'd give her a gift card weekly for grocery money. A gas card to fill up her tank. If she needs more than that then she needs to work! She can earn her own money! Especially if she wants to waste it in Vegas or girls night out scenes. She acts like she ever grew up! Her Father is probably worried he's going to stuck footing the bills for his spoiled brat of a daughter. bottom line he should consult with his attorney. every state is different and every case is too. he shouldn't do anything unless he gets a green light from his lawyer Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 bottom line he should consult with his attorney. every state is different and every case is too. he shouldn't do anything unless he gets a green light from his lawyer You're absolutely right, one needs to know where they stand legally and states are significantly different, and some favor men. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 11, 2015 Author Share Posted September 11, 2015 All: I said I wasn't going to update for a while, but what the hell. My STBXW and her BFFs went to the casinos and I am keeping my boys. STBXW has been sending me pictures of herself in her bikini telling me "Missing you just what I needed to make me a better wife for u." I am starting to become worried about her mental health. I am keeping to the 180 and I haven't responded to her texts or calls. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 All: I said I wasn't going to update for a while, but what the hell. My STBXW and her BFFs went to the casinos and I am keeping my boys. STBXW has been sending me pictures of herself in her bikini telling me "Missing you just what I needed to make me a better wife for u." I am starting to become worried about her mental health. I am keeping to the 180 and I haven't responded to her texts or calls. first, good to hear back from you. it is obvious that you STBXW is mentally sick, really, she needs some serious help Link to post Share on other sites
whatatangledweb Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Bigdaddyt, keep posting, we like to hear from you. I fail to see how this trip helps her learn what it takes to be a better wife. She sent the pictures to get you excited or show you what you would be missing. Very immature to me. She has no clue what this has done to you. I believe she thinks you will change your mind. Do not reply to her. Link to post Share on other sites
irishguy Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 If anyone gets on to you , family etc about working on your marriage after what she is doing going away , make sure you tell them what her idea of working on the marriage was .The kids are lucky to have you to depend on . Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 "Missing you just what I needed to make me a better wife for u." I don't doubt she's learning some new things for the bedroom. Perhaps that makes her a better wife? Your wife is seriously unstable dude. Watch your back at ALL times. Keep a journal in case you need it to get custody of your kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 Keep posting. She is going to do all she can to string you along. Your safe. They are fun. She wants both. Stick to your plans and just move forward. C Link to post Share on other sites
66Charger Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 (edited) While she is off to the casinos, move ALL your stuff out. Everything that is personaly yours. Clothes, pictures, toys. Everything. Shut all this down now. There is no need for closure. There is no need for date nights. There is no need for a waiting period. She is who she is. She will probaly get drunk and have sex. Accept it. Accept it all. Do not fight for her anymore. Do not be angry. Bury your dead marriage before she returns. Accept it BDT and move on. There is nothing here left to save. However, You should reply. Send a simple text that says "the divorce papers will be finished on Teusday" Do not send anything else. I am sure that text will burn in her brain. Edit. Forward a copy of her patying in a bikini, while you are home with the boys, PREPARING FOR DIVORCE, to her "understanding Father" Wow. Edited September 11, 2015 by 66Charger 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eric1 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I don't know how much extra cash you have, but you need a VAR on you at all times, a backup VAR in every room and if you can swing it, Nest Dropcams with the $10/month recording option. I'm not even kind of kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: I said I wasn't going to update for a while, but what the hell. My STBXW and her BFFs went to the casinos and I am keeping my boys. STBXW has been sending me pictures of herself in her bikini telling me "Missing you just what I needed to make me a better wife for u." I am starting to become worried about her mental health. I am keeping to the 180 and I haven't responded to her texts or calls. I'd be very tempted to forward those texts and pics to her father if I were you. Then he can get an idea of why you filed. No self respecting man would tolerate her nonsense and he better not expect you to do so. I'm thinking her mom knew what her daughter was up to back then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I suggest you look at amending any life insurance and your Will, since you have since you've filed. Stay safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: I am at a loss for words over this. I truly think she is loosing it now that her safe world is unraveling. I am the stable one lol, I think that she thought we would just go back to the way it was before. My PI came through for me with some information I will post after the boys go to bed. Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: I am at a loss for words over this. I truly think she is loosing it now that her safe world is unraveling. I am the stable one lol, I think that she thought we would just go back to the way it was before. My PI came through for me with some information I will post after the boys go to bed. That sounds ominous... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: My PI advised me that he interviewed Jill and her girlfriends and gave me pretty accurate picture of Jills relationship with my STBXW. PI said that Jill was in love with my wife and wanted a permanent relationship where they would all live together and raise my children along with Jills. My wife wouldn't leave me because she was in love with me and she told Jill that she was bi but preferred me as her partner. Jill tried to get me involved with her and when that didn't work she brought in the POSOM to drive a wedge between us. I always suspected this. Jill was always at my house and acted like a protective man around my wife. I was oblivious to all of this , but see it clearly now. My wife cut Jill off because she didn't want to jeprodize her family. This is a much shorter version of what the PI told me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Keep posting. She is going to do all she can to string you along. Your safe. They are fun. She wants both. Stick to your plans and just move forward. C Clay, I think I will keep posting until all of the drama dies down . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: My PI advised me that he interviewed Jill and her girlfriends and gave me pretty accurate picture of Jills relationship with my STBXW. PI said that Jill was in love with my wife and wanted a permanent relationship where they would all live together and raise my children along with Jills. My wife wouldn't leave me because she was in love with me and she told Jill that she was bi but preferred me as her partner. Jill tried to get me involved with her and when that didn't work she brought in the POSOM to drive a wedge between us. I always suspected this. Jill was always at my house and acted like a protective man around my wife. I was oblivious to all of this , but see it clearly now. My wife cut Jill off because she didn't want to jeprodize her family. This is a much shorter version of what the PI told me. So, how does this effect you? Does it make you feel like giving her another chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 So, how does this effect you? Does it make you feel like giving her another chance? TX-SC, No it isn't the act itself, it is the deception and the disrespect that I was shown throughout their affair. I will have her served on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I don't think that I can get over this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 So, how does this effect you? Does it make you feel like giving her another chance? TX -SC, I guess that it doesn't effect me, just brings what was hidden to light. Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's just kind of strange how she wouldn't leave you for them, but she was willing to have sex with them. It's almost like she is just too immature to understand her actions have consequences. Even now, after getting told you will divorce her, she heads to Vegas with her useless friends. Is it possible that she has a learning disability? Maybe she has some form of psychological problem where she simply cannot have empathy or see right and wrong? It's all just so damn confusing! A rational brain can't process this crap! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's just kind of strange how she wouldn't leave you for them, but she was willing to have sex with them. It's almost like she is just too immature to understand her actions have consequences. Even now, after getting told you will divorce her, she heads to Vegas with her useless friends. Is it possible that she has a learning disability? Maybe she has some form of psychological problem where she simply cannot have empathy or see right and wrong? It's all just so damn confusing! A rational brain can't process this crap! TX-SC, my STBXW is immature and in her fantasy world. She never wants to be held accountable or be responsible for anything . Her older sister always called her Peter Pan because she was always in Neverland. She doesn't have the courage to face what she has done not just to me but our children. She can never tell her loser friends no. Life is all about choices and she has chosen the wrong one again. You can't rationalize a crazy brain. Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 She has narcissism=extreme selfishness and a craving for admiration. Other words associated with this term are superiority, arrogance, self absorbtion, sense of entitlement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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