eric1 Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 I don't know how much extra cash you have, but you need a VAR on you at all times, a backup VAR in every room and if you can swing it, Nest Dropcams with the $10/month recording option. I'm not even kind of kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: I said I wasn't going to update for a while, but what the hell. My STBXW and her BFFs went to the casinos and I am keeping my boys. STBXW has been sending me pictures of herself in her bikini telling me "Missing you just what I needed to make me a better wife for u." I am starting to become worried about her mental health. I am keeping to the 180 and I haven't responded to her texts or calls. I'd be very tempted to forward those texts and pics to her father if I were you. Then he can get an idea of why you filed. No self respecting man would tolerate her nonsense and he better not expect you to do so. I'm thinking her mom knew what her daughter was up to back then. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 I suggest you look at amending any life insurance and your Will, since you have since you've filed. Stay safe. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: I am at a loss for words over this. I truly think she is loosing it now that her safe world is unraveling. I am the stable one lol, I think that she thought we would just go back to the way it was before. My PI came through for me with some information I will post after the boys go to bed. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Since your exW thinks this is her way of being a good wife - you've just saved yourself a lot of years of hell. Partying is the way to save a marriage? That's the first I've heard. I'm old! Nothing is changing with her...she is either in denial or really stupid. I'm left shaking my head. It will be interesting to see what the PI came up with. She certainly has a lot she wants to cover up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: I am at a loss for words over this. I truly think she is loosing it now that her safe world is unraveling. I am the stable one lol, I think that she thought we would just go back to the way it was before. My PI came through for me with some information I will post after the boys go to bed. That sounds ominous... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: My PI advised me that he interviewed Jill and her girlfriends and gave me pretty accurate picture of Jills relationship with my STBXW. PI said that Jill was in love with my wife and wanted a permanent relationship where they would all live together and raise my children along with Jills. My wife wouldn't leave me because she was in love with me and she told Jill that she was bi but preferred me as her partner. Jill tried to get me involved with her and when that didn't work she brought in the POSOM to drive a wedge between us. I always suspected this. Jill was always at my house and acted like a protective man around my wife. I was oblivious to all of this , but see it clearly now. My wife cut Jill off because she didn't want to jeprodize her family. This is a much shorter version of what the PI told me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 Keep posting. She is going to do all she can to string you along. Your safe. They are fun. She wants both. Stick to your plans and just move forward. C Clay, I think I will keep posting until all of the drama dies down . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: My PI advised me that he interviewed Jill and her girlfriends and gave me pretty accurate picture of Jills relationship with my STBXW. PI said that Jill was in love with my wife and wanted a permanent relationship where they would all live together and raise my children along with Jills. My wife wouldn't leave me because she was in love with me and she told Jill that she was bi but preferred me as her partner. Jill tried to get me involved with her and when that didn't work she brought in the POSOM to drive a wedge between us. I always suspected this. Jill was always at my house and acted like a protective man around my wife. I was oblivious to all of this , but see it clearly now. My wife cut Jill off because she didn't want to jeprodize her family. This is a much shorter version of what the PI told me. So, how does this effect you? Does it make you feel like giving her another chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 So, how does this effect you? Does it make you feel like giving her another chance? TX-SC, No it isn't the act itself, it is the deception and the disrespect that I was shown throughout their affair. I will have her served on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. I don't think that I can get over this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 So, how does this effect you? Does it make you feel like giving her another chance? TX -SC, I guess that it doesn't effect me, just brings what was hidden to light. Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's just kind of strange how she wouldn't leave you for them, but she was willing to have sex with them. It's almost like she is just too immature to understand her actions have consequences. Even now, after getting told you will divorce her, she heads to Vegas with her useless friends. Is it possible that she has a learning disability? Maybe she has some form of psychological problem where she simply cannot have empathy or see right and wrong? It's all just so damn confusing! A rational brain can't process this crap! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's just kind of strange how she wouldn't leave you for them, but she was willing to have sex with them. It's almost like she is just too immature to understand her actions have consequences. Even now, after getting told you will divorce her, she heads to Vegas with her useless friends. Is it possible that she has a learning disability? Maybe she has some form of psychological problem where she simply cannot have empathy or see right and wrong? It's all just so damn confusing! A rational brain can't process this crap! TX-SC, my STBXW is immature and in her fantasy world. She never wants to be held accountable or be responsible for anything . Her older sister always called her Peter Pan because she was always in Neverland. She doesn't have the courage to face what she has done not just to me but our children. She can never tell her loser friends no. Life is all about choices and she has chosen the wrong one again. You can't rationalize a crazy brain. Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 She has narcissism=extreme selfishness and a craving for admiration. Other words associated with this term are superiority, arrogance, self absorbtion, sense of entitlement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 STBXW, chose to go with her girlfriends away during a crisis because it was easier than facing the truth about her behavior. She villianized me to justify her cheating and running off. When the party is over she will want to come back to her safe real world, but that is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
TX-SC Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 But even now she texts and says she is going to be a better wife when she gets back (from her GNO trip of all things). My head is going to explode. Even my 13 yo is smarter than that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 But even now she texts and says she is going to be a better wife when she gets back (from her GNO trip of all things). My head is going to explode. Even my 13 yo is smarter than that! TX-SC, So is my 10 yo, I am going to divorce and move on, but will encourage joint counseling to allow us to coparent. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's time to be clear with her Mom and Dad that there is no fixing it/her. Her Mom has been silent through this? Any reason why her Dad is the front person/mediator? Is it possible her Mom cheated in the past and Dad forgave her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Two things; Why did you marry such a woman? You admit she is naive, in her own world, selfish, immature etc. Why did you have kids with this woman? Something is not adding here. You have no obligation to prove anything to your parents in law. You are a grown up man. Make your decisions and go on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Two things; Why did you marry such a woman? You admit she is naive, in her own world, selfish, immature etc. Why did you have kids with this woman? Something is not adding here. You have no obligation to prove anything to your parents in law. You are a grown up man. Make your decisions and go on with your life. wow do you even have to ask that? uhh people change? people are at there best at the start but towards the later they slowly begin to show their true colors? instead becoming more mature in the relationship, cheaters/waywards are people who become very immature and regress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 wow do you even have to ask that? uhh people change? people are at there best at the start but towards the later they slowly begin to show their true colors? instead becoming more mature in the relationship, cheaters/waywards are people who become very immature and regress. Well the OP said his wife's sister ALWAYS called her peter pan cause she was ALWAYS in her own world. This means she didnt suddenly change... Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 (edited) Well the OP said his wife's sister ALWAYS called her peter pan cause she was ALWAYS in her own world. This means she didnt suddenly change... some people put on mask's and some cant hold that up for long. clearly WW wasn't like that at the beginning of the marriage. aren't all WS like that. only that he was fore warned by SIL. -------------------------- on a sadder note, i guess Jill's cruel plans did come into fruition. If your wife never saw this its best to tell her after the divorce. btw do the FOO's (FIL & MIL) know about this casino trip? i think you need to call, your FIL on this. is this a local casino or vegas? Edited September 12, 2015 by m.snow 1 Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 All: My PI advised me that he interviewed Jill and her girlfriends and gave me pretty accurate picture of Jills relationship with my STBXW. PI said that Jill was in love with my wife and wanted a permanent relationship where they would all live together and raise my children along with Jills. My wife wouldn't leave me because she was in love with me and she told Jill that she was bi but preferred me as her partner. Jill tried to get me involved with her and when that didn't work she brought in the POSOM to drive a wedge between us. I always suspected this. Jill was always at my house and acted like a protective man around my wife. I was oblivious to all of this , but see it clearly now. My wife cut Jill off because she didn't want to jeprodize her family. This is a much shorter version of what the PI told me. I hate to say it but Jill's plan has worked:( :( your wife mental issues has made it easier for Jill to work her plan. her behavior while under pressure is reckless. I' may be in the minority here but you should get her some help for the sake of your children. I wouldn't let Jill raise my children 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's just kind of strange how she wouldn't leave you for them, but she was willing to have sex with them. It's almost like she is just too immature to understand her actions have consequences. Even now, after getting told you will divorce her, she heads to Vegas with her useless friends. Is it possible that she has a learning disability? Maybe she has some form of psychological problem where she simply cannot have empathy or see right and wrong? It's all just so damn confusing! A rational brain can't process this crap! This makes me think they sold the PI a load of baloney. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bigdaddyt Posted September 12, 2015 Author Share Posted September 12, 2015 It's time to be clear with her Mom and Dad that there is no fixing it/her. Her Mom has been silent through this? Any reason why her Dad is the front person/mediator? Is it possible her Mom cheated in the past and Dad forgave her? S2B, her mother is in a lot of ways like my wife except she isn't selfish. It is possible that there was infidelity in their marriage, but I have no evidence of this. Link to post Share on other sites
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