girlcrush88 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I had an affair with a coworker/friend. He ended things because he didn't want his wife to find out and him loose his daughter. I sometimes wish his wife would find out but we kept things so hidden him & me are the only ones who know what went on. We only met 1 time & it was only for about 15 minutes. It was more of an emotional affair than anything. I told my husband that I was texting this guy but that is all he knows. So should his wife know & how would she find out?? Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Why do you want his wife to know? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jbrent890 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Not to be blunt, but his wife and his marriage is none of your concern. If you want to be honest with her than thats fine, but you did enough to her by getting involved with her husband. What you need to be asking is what you plan to do about your marriage? Do you want things to work with your husband? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DAO Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Your husband should know :rolleyes: 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Ask your husband. As your nearest and dearest, he will give you the best advice. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy43 Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Why do you want his wife to know? Why don't you tell your husband? Are you hoping his wife will leave him and then he will be with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Girl Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 How old are you? First, worry about your own backyard before sticking your nose in someone else's. Second, I read your other thread- you want to tell her in the hope that it ends their marriage, don't you? Smh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Why do you want his wife to know? Yes what is your reason to tell the BW? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Your husband should know :rolleyes: Yes your BH needs to know. Why are you concerned with the BW and not your BH? So when are you going to tell your BH? Link to post Share on other sites
menyou Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 His wife would find out if 1) he confessed or 2) you told her. Why are you basically asking for this to happen. You are married. He is married. he decided not to move forward. Thank him. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 I am in the do not tell camp unless there is reason for worry, like a pregnancy or an std. Let him deal with his marriage. It seems you have enough to worry about with your own marriage. I was OW and revealing rarely makes a MM leave his M. In fact, it usually starts a chain of events that go something like... the wife.finds out, she may or may not kick him out, either way her life is ruined. Then they try to work it out, the hysterical bonding begins and they begin therapy. They may be happy again but most times the BS is sad for the duration of the relationship, but they stay together anyway. So... you ruin her life and don't get the guy. My advice? Leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Not to be blunt, but his wife and his marriage is none of your concern. If you want to be honest with her than thats fine, but you did enough to her by getting involved with her husband. What you need to be asking is what you plan to do about your marriage? Do you want things to work with your husband? I'd TOTALLY disagree, the wife (OW) and his marriage IS of concern to the AP. If I were to enter into an affair, I'd certainly want to know the relationship of the OWs husband and why she were even interested, and what their plans were. And I'd expect she would want that of me. Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 How old are you? First, worry about your own backyard before sticking your nose in someone else's. Second, I read your other thread- you want to tell her in the hope that it ends their marriage, don't you? Smh I'd agree with this... one must deal with their own problems first. However, in an affair, there are SO many dynamics that it's really hard to say if exposure to anyone is appropriate, and, if so, the timing has to be appropriate. There's so many variables, it's really hard to say. It's sure nice to have an open book and let our SO, and the APs spouse know, but only in the right situation. Depends...... Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Yes, she should know. And so should your husband. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweet Workaholic Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I am in the do not tell camp unless there is reason for worry, like a pregnancy or an std. Let him deal with his marriage. It seems you have enough to worry about with your own marriage. I was OW and revealing rarely makes a MM leave his M. In fact, it usually starts a chain of events that go something like... the wife.finds out, she may or may not kick him out, either way her life is ruined. Then they try to work it out, the hysterical bonding begins and they begin therapy. They may be happy again but most times the BS is sad for the duration of the relationship, but they stay together anyway. So... you ruin her life and don't get the guy. My advice? Leave it alone. Well said .... Link to post Share on other sites
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