Marshbear Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever I agree with Alpha ...By doing that your giving her the attention she craves. You're showing her your weakness and she'll never truly understand what she lost till you stop all contact. I would have been laughing with my friends, making it seem as if I was having the time of my life. I would have never looked her way, or even let her catch me giving her a glimpse...Ignore the f*** out of her and throw it in her face that after her...LIFE GOES ON! I would have even maybe gotten up and go to the bathroom and walk right by her table and not even look at her just smile and walk my happy a$$ to the bathroom like Dorothy on the yellow brick road skipping along... Of course in my own head I would have gone up to her and slap the s*** out of her and punch the guy in the face but that's just my subconscious talking... She doesn't have to know all the details!! I agree with NeverSayNever. This is exactly how you should have handled the situation. You made yourself look like a ass, which she probably loved. Next time just ignore her. Stop txing her and accept the situation. You left her so she has no reason to feel guilty. Time to move on... Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 agree BROTHER AARON. Women got the emotional intelligence and men got physical strength. A man who has emotional strength will have women coming out his wazoo. Physical strength..sometimes not even that !!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author mixwell Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin mixwell, So it sounds like you moved away from her against her wishes, knowing what the consequences would be - knowing that she would break up with you if you moved away. Is that right? Well, then if you knew that ahead of time and you moved anyway, then what's the fuss? You made the decision - live with it. Some decisions you can't take back so easily. Other people have lives, too, ya know. Yes I moved away and she was going to move origionally also.. I decided that I wanted to check it out and see if I would like it there before dragging her with me.. The thing is though I told her I wanted her to move back but I wanted to see if we both would like it.. I mean obviously I can't know if she does or not.. But moving there was new for me and she would have had to quit her job. I never said it was over.. I know what your saying though.. I don't think I would wait around forever. At the time of the breakup though I never said I was moving back or what.. Shortly after though about a month back there I told her that I wanted to move back and be with her but she didn't take me seriously.. She knew I was moving back but still chose this guy.. Anyways I understand her position but I just thought she loved me soo much to want to be back together.. Obviously I was wrong.. I know life goes on but I think mainly im hurt by my own actions of moving back there in the first place.. I had no idea how it was going to be and I found out what I wanted but its like o well doesn't matter now..... I know sending the txt was pretty stupid, but I guess I just wanted her to feel as uncomfortable as I was. I dont know if she saw me or what but I guess I wanted her to know that I was there.. It was stupid.. Anyways I didn't get a txt message back from her so I guess thats it.. I kind of wanted to sent her a message saying I understand now why she did what she did.. Amerika what you said makes perfect sense and I guess I never thought of that before.. I won't send the message though but I understand now I think.. O well life goes on.. I have deleted her out of my phone and everything also.. It has been like that for a while but I still remember her number by heart... Ok NC is all I can do at this point. I just didn't want to end things on a bitter basis but whatever I am not going to tell her I understand her position and sympathize with her even though I understand because its still not going to solve anything.. Thanks for the input all of you Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever See, I just value myself so much and I have so much pride that I don't give them the satisfaction to see me weak.. I've learned the HARD way that people can walk all over you if you give them even a hint of weakness. I've been f***ed over a lot Alpha...Plus with time and age and growing up, you learn to think of yourself first (not all the time of course)...But the reason I know this.. I'LL NEVER TELL... If I ever see my ex again, I'm gonna smile, maybe say hi and move on. I will not let her ruin my fun or run my life! Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 I doubt I will ever see my ex in person ever again. He said that if "God saw that I was better" then he would find a way to bring us back together, but I doubt that magical thinkin is going to be happening. If on the wild chance I did run into him, I would probably act like I had no idea who he was. If he came up to me I would look at him like "who the hell are you?" I don't know the person he is now anyway, so why should I act like I do? Oh....and I think the whole dumper moves on quicker notion is 100% true. The dumper oozes with confidence and has no hurt feelings, and the dumpee has crushed self-esteem and isn't over the dumper. That spells disaster for when the dumpee tries to date again. It sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Oh....and I think the whole dumper moves on quicker notion is 100% true. The dumper oozes with confidence and has no hurt feelings, and the dumpee has crushed self-esteem and isn't over the dumper. well duh, XNX. the dumper is doing what they want to and the dumpee is not. that's why i try to be the dumper as much as i can. by the way XNX, the female does the dumping about 75% of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Girls also pretend like they are doing fine if they see the ex. I've done it and I know girls who really over do it. Laugh extra hard and pretend like it's all good. You can always see through guys when they do it though. Cause they are never publicly emotional or dramatic until they are heart broken. But yeah, girls are great at pretending they're fine when really they are a million pieces. Or when you see the ex with the new girl, oh god, that's probably worse than just seeing the ex. That's when you really gotta pretend like you don't care when all you want to do is crawl on the floor and cry. So I guess whether you're a guy or a girl, dumper or dumpee, it still hurts to see the ex, and while we all try and pretend in public that we don't care, we really do...kind of sad and makes you think that if everyone just told their ex-SO's exactly how they felt, and showed that they cared and were still sad, it would probably relieve a lot of hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale well duh, XNX. the dumper is doing what they want to and the dumpee is not. that's why i try to be the dumper as much as i can. by the way XNX, the female does the dumping about 75% of the time. Yeah, I have heard that it's usually women who do the dumping. That seems to be pretty true, I guess I wonder why? I know I have ALWAYS done the dumping, except for this last time which my heart got smashed into a million pieces. Maybe I got what was coming to me for dumping other people? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Yeah, I have heard that it's usually women who do the dumping. That seems to be pretty true, I guess I wonder why? Because XNX, women usually make the choices as to which man they will be with and for how long. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Because XNX, women usually make the choices as to which man they will be with and for how long. Hey Alpha, men do to. Men aren't going to stay with a woman they don't want to be with..NO ONE WILL!! It all comes down to the comfort level and who has the bigger balls to actually be true to themselves. Being with someone half a$$ is no way of living...IMHO! Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale by the way XNX, the female does the dumping about 75% of the time I would like to increase that percentage to 90 % though my heart says it is 100 %. Yeah a dumper moves quickly, cause this act of dumping gives the dumper something and takes away something from dumpee. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 >>I wonder why?<<< Because men are stupid when it comes to that stuff, especially if the girl is attractive. My theory is that women are the usual dumpers because female communication is subtle, and you expect us to pick up on your cues, which we often don't. You expect, maybe even hope, we'll either a) see that the relationship is in trouble and try to fix it, or (b) see that the relationship is dead and just spare you the dirty work of having to say "We need to talk." From a man's point of view, there's no problem in the relationship unless someone actually says "There's a problem in this relationship". Not so for women. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by amerikajin My theory is that women are the usual dumpers because female communication is subtle, or becuase their man becomes a spineless, desperate and totally dependent guy who she can play mind games with as she pleases. once the boy is used up it is time to get a new boy . Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Or may be by default they are selfish, cheat and opportunistic. They always keep looking for better, while guys when they fall in love they are content. Girls will always look for better till they can. Link to post Share on other sites
XNemesisX Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 As if guys don't do that also? And hey we are not all like that! Where is moi when you really need her?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by greenhorn Or may be by default they are selfish, cheat and opportunistic. They always keep looking for better, while guys when they fall in love they are content. Girls will always look for better till they can. Some women can be selfish, cheap and opportunistic. They could just be bored with the guy they are with and are waiting for something better (or so they think) to come along. I firmly believe in KARMA.... Link to post Share on other sites
simon_uk Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Originally posted by ConfusedInOC Some women can be selfish, cheap and opportunistic. They could just be bored with the guy they are with and are waiting for something better (or so they think) to come along. I firmly believe in KARMA.... Seconded!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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