JustDucky Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 So, LDR of sorts -- we've tried to make the most of it and talked and texted to where we fell into a daily pattern of communication. He initiated most of the time and we always ended our nights with a call. Long story, short: Things haven't been going on that long between us (about 3ish months) and yet both of us talked with excitement about a future together once we could close the distance gap. We both felt like this was all meant to happen. I guess you'd call it that rush when everything's new and you're just so excited about each other. (Perhaps a bit too soon, I recognize that). I went away for work last week and tried to keep up contact as much as possible. I felt bad that I couldn't respond as much, but I think he understood. We had normal conversation early in the week and talked to each other before he was going to go out with a friend. He was going to keep in touch when he could. I texted him at some point to ask if he got there, but he didn't respond. Nothing out of the ordinary, so I didn't worry. We've spent a lot of our free time on each other, so I was glad he was getting out and enjoying himself. Oddly enough, I didn't hear from him at all the next day or the day after that. I was worried at first, but got over it. He was going to be busy and it was inevitable that we were going to not talk for a day or two at some point. He's been stressed out at work and thinking about life lately, so last night, I thought it would also be wise of me to give him space so he can do what he needs to do. Maybe he felt like he was losing himself -- that's entirely possible -- and felt he needed to pull back. Today, he removed me on FB and I have been left puzzled. There was nothing in our conversations to indicate feelings had changed nor that he had potentially met someone. He's always been truthful about his feelings and stuff going on, though I imagine he didn't want to share all the negative and I tried not to do so much of that either. I sent a nice email an hour or two ago stating my confusion, that I (still) thought highly of him, and that I didn't expect him to want to talk, but I'd be here if he ever needed it. I didn't plan to send anything while giving him space, but I felt the change in dynamic today left me to at least send a message of support and not in anger. Even if he doesn't respond, I still wanted to make that clear. Has this happened to any of you? If so, what happened? Did he or she come back around after some time? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Have you met in person before? Sounds to me like A) He's met someone else, or B) wasn't all that single to begin with For whatever reason, he clearly doesn't want to be contacted. He didn't go about it in the respectful way, but at least now you know what type of person he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustDucky Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 Have you met in person before? Sounds to me like A) He's met someone else, or B) wasn't all that single to begin with For whatever reason, he clearly doesn't want to be contacted. He didn't go about it in the respectful way, but at least now you know what type of person he is. Yes, we have met. While the circumstances were a bit crazy, we decided to give it a go and see what happens. He's divorced ... I think within the last year, so I know that could play some part in it. If he did happen to meet someone within the last few weeks or days, it's just a very odd way to go about things. He didn't act any differently which would have tipped me off. He's still mutual friends with one of my guy friends (whom he hasn't met, but knows we hang out a lot). This all just seems so bizarre. He may explain what's going on at some point, but I know it's not me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustDucky Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 So, an update -- He responded to my email. To summarize the gist of it, it seems like he's dealing with some things and now is not a good time for us (aka likely not someone else in the picture). He hopes to write more today, but it sounds like it's hard on him emotionally as well. I know the distance doesn't help. He said he is going to leave his door ajar too and we may possibly have a future at some point, but now is not right. I was committed to making it work, but I guess it's not really helpful if one person is at Point A and the other feels like he or she is at Point C. He seems to greatly care enough to write back. All I can say is that it sucks. I have some things in my own life that need to be improved, so I know I should work on them in the meantime. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 You're right; it doesn't matter how committed one party is to making it work if the other doesn't want it. It was good that he responded, so now you can move on. I wouldn't give him too much credit though, as I also have to wonder if he would have reached out at all on his own. Suddenly defriending you online is strange and he did so with no explanation. The right thing to do would have been to let you know before hand that he wasn't interested anymore. But hey - at least now you know. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveIsMyReligion Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 It's emotionally draining when one person puts in effort and the other doesn't. I think long distance relationships in general are emotionally draining. Particularly because you spend so much time deciphering text messages and emails which normally you wouldn't have to do when you were communicating face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
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