Partner has told me that he doesn't want me to talk about certain things

[TMichaels]

I do think that my partner is controlling in regards to what he believes we can and cannot talk about.

 

What's so "lovely" about that?

 

I want to get through to him that's it not okay or healthy yet I don't know how to.

 

Why should you even try? He's not two-years-old but he certainly acting like he is. Surely, you deserve and can do better than this no matter how "lovely" you claim he may be.

 

Everything I say is wrong. It all turns into an issue that is in his mind all my own doing and he is left basically acting like I have wronged him- most of the time in regards to our relationship it is never his fault and it is always mine

 

Ummm... Did you read what you wrote? Does he sound like a keeper to you? Take advantage of the fact he's throwing another temper tantrum and walk away -- not just to get his attention, but permanently.

 

This guy is bad news and YOU AREN'T going to change him (nor should it be your job). He's using you to buoy up his ego and one you've served your purpose you'll be replaced and discarded. You don't owe him an explanation. He doesn't want to talk anyway. Give him what he wants and MOVE ON.

 

Best,

TMichaels

Edited August 23, 2015 by TMichaels

[CarrieT]

A

You are willing to make big sacrifices to your personal life and he won't even discuss an important issue with you.

Repeated for truth.

 

OP, I don't know how long your relationship has been going on, but the fact that he isn't 100% divorced yet is some indication; i.e., you are still in the honeymoon period and haven't seen each other through all four seasons - at least a year?

 

This would indicate that you are still in a fog about him and the potential and are starting to see through the cracks of how he deals with issues (or not deal with issues by telling you not to discuss them). You are willing to give up a LOT by moving to a whole new country but he is not willing to give you the security of open communication until you do so. How will it turn out when you are living there - having given up so much - and are shut out of important factors that comprise your relationship?

 

Perhaps it was good thing that you saw all this - and who is really is - before you made the final jump. While you can still pull the plug...

[jen1447]

He is fundentally a lovely person until I mention something that he doesn't like.

 

Not trying to be snarky but what this actually means is that he's simply not fundamentally a lovely person. He's a person who comes off as fundamentally lovely until things stop going his way, which means his loveliness isn't genuine, it's conditional. That's really not a good character trait.

[LoveIsMyReligion]

It sounds like you are more invested in this relationship than he is, to be honest.

 

If his ex or whatever is still in the picture you should step back for a moment and really really look at what you are doing.

[Aprilmae]

I've been trying to convince myself for a while now that everything is okay. But it's really far from being okay. His love is conditional. i should have opened my eyes sooner because right now my world is crashing down and I wouldn't wish this feeling upon anyone.