Does this guy have Erectile Dysfunction?

[notyouraveragebabe]

I met this guy online, went on a few dates. Told him I wanted to wait for sex and he agreed. He was nice enough to wait. He took me out, wine and dine me. I never gave the booty. Yes, we fooled around, but never had sex. He was very respectful of my wishes. A few dates in I couldn't resist and told him lets just do it. We tried to have sex and it just didn't work out. He couldn't get it up. I thought maybe he was nervous and needed more foreplay and nope still softy. He finally gets it up and it goes back soft in a few minutes. I look good!! Nice body, fake tits, cute face. He missed out. So we stopped and went to dinner. I could tell he was insecure about it and I didn't say much. We came back from dinner and tried again. Still softy. When he finally gets it up, he didn't know what to do with me. I spent the night and tried again, still same issue.

 

The next morning I texted him saying "maybe we aren't sexually compatible, I don't know how I feel about it". I didn't end it, I said, maybe lets try again. He wanted to see me again after his shift on Thursday, so I said we can try again then. He texted me early Thursday morning saying he was forced into a work training and couldn't make it. I was a little upset and said, bye. He said, I'll call you after training and never called. What's his problem? ED? Embarrassed?

[Tayla]

A doctor would best diagnose this concern.

 

Since its a medical matter and you feel genuinely willing to engage in sex, have the talk. This is not a time to drop a guy , that would really show a shallowness , sorta like someone describing themselves as in the post above.

 

I dated a guy with this behavior.. past tense for a reason.

 

Im sure its awkward for him... so try to approach him during a non romantic scenario... meaning not during engaging in the beginning phase of relations.

[SJC2008]

You gave him a "cue" when you said yall might not be sexually compatible, what were you expecting? He was either nervous or has an ED issue.

[notyouraveragebabe]

You gave him a "cue" when you said yall might not be sexually compatible, what were you expecting? He was either nervous or has an ED issue.

 

I told him we can try again. He said, he had work and just never called me back.

[notyouraveragebabe]

A doctor would best diagnose this concern.

 

Since its a medical matter and you feel genuinely willing to engage in sex, have the talk. This is not a time to drop a guy , that would really show a shallowness , sorta like someone describing themselves as in the post above.

 

I dated a guy with this behavior.. past tense for a reason.

 

Im sure its awkward for him... so try to approach him during a non romantic scenario... meaning not during engaging in the beginning phase of relations.

 

I had the talk with him and said lets try again. He just never came back to try again.

[SJC2008]

I told him we can try again. He said, he had work and just never called me back.

It doesn't matter, you put the nail in the coffin and then tried to pull it out. When you said you could try again he probably that you were being nice, siince tou just put the nail in the coffin. If you want him back you're gonna have to cinvince him otherwise. I don't think that's really the case, your ego is hurt because a man couldn't get it up to you. That's what his is mostly about IMO. Get over it.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Does he get morning wood? If so, he is ok physically. How old is he? How experienced is he?

[notyouraveragebabe]

Does he get morning wood? If so, he is ok physically. How old is he? How experienced is he?

 

When we kissed and didn't have sex he easily became aroused, probably just didn't last long. He's 34.

[notyouraveragebabe]

It doesn't matter, you put the nail in the coffin and then tried to pull it out. When you said you could try again he probably that you were being nice, siince tou just put the nail in the coffin. If you want him back you're gonna have to cinvince him otherwise. I don't think that's really the case, your ego is hurt because a man couldn't get it up to you. That's what his is mostly about IMO. Get over it.

 

I know its not me, its him. Never experienced that with any other guy. So its him.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

When we kissed and didn't have sex he easily became aroused, probably just didn't last long. He's 34.

 

You mean he was hard? Is he healthy? What's his BMI, BP & cholesterol numbers like? Do you guys sleep together? If so, check for morning wood early in the morning.

[Stage5Clinger]

I've had this problem a few times in my life due to medication and stress/anxiety. It takes some of us romantic types some time to get comfortable enough to get really hard. We aren't all animals.

[AlurOne]

Does he seem to really like you? I mean REALLY like you a lot? If so, he may just be nervous. And you mentioned that he is 34, but do you know how experienced he is?

 

I've been in a position where I was so into someone, that just being around her made me nervous and jittery. It gave me problems similar to what you're describing... Did other stuff, even slept together a handful of times and kept trying. Things didn't work out because of it unfortunately.

 

Since then I've had no problems like that with other women. And yes I did like these other women, but I wasn't head over heels for them.

[salparadise]

Performance anxiety, almost certainly. I've had it happen the first time with new partners. After the first time you'd never suspect it was ever an issue. I would try to go ahead and work with it anyway even if soft, and when I quit being self-conscious it would get hard and off we'd go. It helps if the woman just keeps on participating enthusiastically as if it's nothing unusual. No need to point it out, speculate, have a big conversation... just keep on playing with an attitude that erections are optional. Viagra seems to prevent it, so I try to take a small dose the first time with someone new, and limit the alcohol.

[Tayla]

I had the talk with him and said lets try again. He just never came back to try again.

 

I find that hard to believe that a serious talk with empathy and concern was encountered. Read your past posts, and having such conversations is not in your nature. I think this is a bullet dodged for this guy. I wouldn't want my sons involved with a person that uses men and gets off on them paying all the time.

From this perspective, you are best off re evaluating your dating style.

[notyouraveragebabe]

You mean he was hard? Is he healthy? What's his BMI, BP & cholesterol numbers like? Do you guys sleep together? If so, check for morning wood early in the morning.

 

He's a firemen, very active, fit and attractive, he made it sound like he wasn't sleeping with a lot of girls. So maybe not experience in bed. I don't think he is. He couldn't take my bra off. I dated this other guy and he was really good in bed. No matter what bra I wear, straps in front, clip straps etc. he would be able to take it off in seconds.

[MrBojangles]

Are you aware if this man has a habit of watching a lot of porn?

 

If he masturbates in excess, that can also cause vanishing erections when needed IRL.

[notyouraveragebabe]

I find that hard to believe that a serious talk with empathy and concern was encountered. Read your past posts, and having such conversations is not in your nature. I think this is a bullet dodged for this guy. I wouldn't want my sons involved with a person that uses men and gets off on them paying all the time.

From this perspective, you are best off re evaluating your dating style.

 

I'm actually a really nice person. I'm not the type that bends over backwards for men, or the type that sits around and let men take advantage of. I know my worth. I'm confident-I can easily replace, thats how I see it. I don't ask for anyone to pay for me, I can pay for myself. I offered, he wouldn't let me pay. He wants to impress me, what can I say, men want to do this for me. I make good money, have a career, educated and independent.

 

He didn't dodge any bullets, he's regretting losing me. I'm confident and not the type that sits around and cries over men. Had my first heartbreak and learned from it. I've grown and know there are plenty of men that wants me. Yes, sounds arrogant, but its the truth. I give back a lot to men in other ways. I like a man to pay for me in the beginning of dating. He should impress me. I give back in other ways. I bring gifts, drinks, bake him cookies, bought him a movie that he wanted to see, and bought tickets to a show. Just thoughtful little things I would do. He paid because he's a gentlemen. If things get more serious I'll pick up the tab. I don't use men, they want me. I like men who treat me well and if they don't I'm not going to stick around. He probably was uncomfortable with the conversation and it probably would have been best to not bring it up because now he feels awkward. I'll give him sometime and not talk about it and continue to have fun like we use to. If it happens again, I'll tell him its ok and try to work with him.

[Tayla]

My pardons as I am sure you do view yourself in a good light. Confidence is a wonderful asset. Surely didn't mean to say you were "Not nice" as I really do not know you. Only that which was conveyed came off as you said...arrogant.

 

Sounds like you have it resolved, so keep enjoying life, you seem like you got your act together. Best to you!!

[autumnnight]

He may have been nervous. And even if YOU can't see it, saying that you might not be sexually compatible and you didn't know how you felt about it right AFTER an unsuccessful attempt IS going to sting.

 

Then the fact that you had to point out how "it's him"....tells me that no matter how nice you think you are, you come off as pretty condescending. I wouldn't want to sleep with anyone who had the attitude they were doing me a favor.

[edgygirl]

Read my post about the same issue on the Sexual Practices section from a couple weeks ago.

 

Sorry but I think you were really insensitive in the way you responded to him the next morning. ED happens. It doesn't mean it's related to you or a permanent feature in him. You need to be more compassionate in relationships in my opinion. Good luck.

[salparadise]

I met this guy online...

 

I never gave the booty.

He couldn't get it up.

nope still softy.

He finally gets it up and it goes back soft in a few minutes.

I look good!! Nice body, fake tits, cute face.

He missed out. Still softy.

When he finally gets it up, he didn't know what to do with me.

What's his problem? ED? Embarrassed?

I know its not me, its him. Never experienced that with any other guy. So its him.

He couldn't take my bra off.

I dated this other guy and... he would be able to take it off in seconds.

I'm not the type that bends over backwards for men

I'm confident-I can easily replace, thats how I see it.

I don't ask for anyone to pay for me...

He wants to impress me, what can I say, men want to do this for me.

He didn't dodge any bullets, he's regretting losing me.

not the type that sits around and cries over men.

plenty of men that wants me.

Yes, sounds arrogant, but its the truth.

He should impress me.

I don't use men, they want me.

I like men who treat me well and if they don't...

 

 

 

Look at the way you characterize; it's apparent that you view dicks and the men they're attached to as generic and interchangeable, easily replaceable. You say so yourself. You emphasize what they can do for you and why that attitude of entitlement is justified––it's their fault. I wonder, do ever remember a name?

 

fake tits, eh... do ya think maybe the guy's packing some tech himself... the amazing new iSmartdick?

[TexasMan68]

Well her nic is "notyouraveragebabe" so why all the condemnation about her dating style. If she's hot and the dude can't keep it up he's either got ED, is gay and doesn't know it or has no clue as to what he's doing and is completely intimidated by her personality. I say move on unless you really feel a connection with this guy. Find a guy that can keep it up so much your beggin him to stop!!!