CrystalCastles Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 What do men notice about stranger women? When you walk down a street and turn to stare at a woman, what is it about her that made you look? I'm trying to do some self-improving right now. I recently got out of a relationship and looking back, I honestly have no idea why I went out with the guy. I've noticed that I have a hard time attracting quality men. I'm not sure why that is, but I'd like to fix it. I normally dress in t-shirts, jeans, plaid hoodies, sweaters and converse. Nothing that makes me stand out. I think guys like my face though, I get asked out at the gym a lot and that's usually when I'm mid-workout, covered in sweat. What do guys like in terms of women's clothing? I recently bought a maxi dress, which sits nicely on me (I'm tall and slim). I have a few more short dresses which show off my really long legs so I think maybe wearing those more often helps? What hairstyle works best? I've started braiding my hair lately but I'm open to suggestions. Is makeup paramount? I've been working hard to keep my skin clear, but I think maybe a little eyeshadow or eyeliner won't hurt. I'm trying to figure out how to dress and act feminine. I don't think looking like, and acting like a tomboy has been working out well for me. I've met a lot of taken dudes, dudes trying to get into my pants on date one, dudes like my ex who was heartless, unkind and had hygiene problems of epic proportions. I want to know what quality guys want to see in a woman. Any suggestions? What can I do more of to make myself look feminine? That whole concept is quite foreign to me lol. Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 I guess it depends a bit on who you are trying to appeal to, and what exactly you deem as a quality man. Considering that all men are different and we appreciate different values too, it can be hard to tell you what to do, in order to capture the attention of a very decent man. Despite many men being very visual, not everyone are or will care how you dress or look. I can only speak for myself, but I don't need a woman to look or be the most feminine female ever. Regardless of how you prefer to to dress, you can appeal to many different types of men, to me it'll always be your personality which will either draw my attention or not at all. If you purely wish to gain attention by your looks, then you'll always exclude some men, possibly very insightful, warm, kind and great men. This of course doesn't have to be a problem, but it is however the reality whether you gave it much thought or not. All of us have different preferences, but I feel like the more we exclude others based on either stereotypes or whatever, then we deny ourselves the chance of both meeting incredibly individuals as well as developing ourselves to appeal to more people. I'd say it's perfectly fine you want a quality guy, but what are some "must have" core personality trait said man must have? For example I don't have anyone close to me who isn't honest or can converse when required on a deeper level. I also don't care to have people in my life who can't communicate properly or be mature. Anything else I'm fairly open about when it comes to meeting new people. First impressions to me don't mean too much, as people who go completely wrong of each other, due to something being misunderstood, can actually end up becoming the best of friends if they are both sensible and communicate through it. It's so easy to have something be perceived in ways we didn't even intend it, no matter if you are trying to be kind, use humor or whatever. I'm sure you'll get some more brief and concrete replies which may be more to your liking, such as "wear X in order to meet/attract Y man". This may be exactly what you are looking to hear, but even so I still wanted to provide the insight from someone where such mean nothing. Hopefully your relationship with someone you wish to attract will be based on more lasting qualities than that of visual attraction, as both clothes and our looks fade with time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
desimilfman Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 I don't believe in first impressions. A person's true character/scope cannot be denoted after just one meeting, and people often mask their true character. I also don't like to steretype, as there is the horn/halo effect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Every guy is different. I'm not anti skinny jeans, but I prefer skirts & dresses on women. Mini skirts & sun dresses apeal to me, if the rest of the look works. I don't know much about fashion, but know what catches my eye. To me, too much feminine behavior can be a bit of a turn off, as it seems a bit fake. Something I find attractive in a girl is versatility. There's nothing wrong about being a rough tomboy. I like it when a girl is willing to get her hands dirty. I just wouldn't want to be with someone who does the tomboy thing 24/7. It'd be helpful if you could tell us someone famous who resembles you. How do most other girls your age range dress where you live. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 I like long, dark, wavy hair. The clothes aren't really that important, but I'm sure a lot of guys have their own personal preference, me I like jeans and hoodies and converse and I also like my woman to wear sexy clothing/skirts/dresses etc.. But if you're attracted deeply to someone it probably doesn't matter. A lot of men find tom boyish women attractive, (if you're still fairly feminine and not bloke-ish). But if it's first impressions then I guess it's all down to the preference of whichever guy is passing you.. Maybe jeans and converse is how he pictures his ideal woman, or maybe it's a dress or a skirt.. Best thing you can do is wear whatever makes you feel good about yourself and not with the idea in mind that you are purposely doing something to attract attention from men. You get a lot of attention at the gym because its a place you're not trying hard to impress, you're going about your own business, naturally. When I see a woman wearing a lot of make up I wonder what the hell it is she's trying to hide under there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 If you purely wish to gain attention by your looks, then you'll always exclude some men, possibly very insightful, warm, kind and great men. I agree, and this brings me to realize I did not put in enough detail in my OP. I agree that quality men don't just want a pretty woman. They don't want someone empty-headed. They want the full package: looks, intelligence and a kind heart, among other qualities. The thing is, I think I already have all the other qualities a good-quality man would want. I am fit and slim. I'm 130 kg, 5'11. I eat very healthy, my meals I cook at home and I rarely eat out. I work out regularly. I also have many interests. I am never bored even when alone. I love reading, drawing, cooking, crocheting, beading, watching films, travelling, camping, hiking, swimming, the list is endless. I never run out of things to do, or talk about. I love talking about politics, global issues, the environment, films, travel, food, etc. I am in general a happy person. I also am starting my PhD in a few months in chemistry, at 23. I don't have trouble making friends, people seem to enjoy my company, I have been called intelligent many times and I don't think I'm only book-smart. My ex said I was a generous and enthusiastic lover. But besides those things, I am not the full package. I don't really stand out. My hygiene is very good, I shower every day and wash my hair every other day, shave, wear deodorant, my dentist said my teeth and oral hygiene are exemplary. But I don't dress well. I dress sloppy. I think a man would want a woman to be well-put together, regardless of what her style is. I don't really look like that though, so hence I'm looking for tips. I certainly agree that there are many qualities besides looks that are important, and more so than looks. But if a woman already has those qualities she can't really overlook appearance either. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 nice people are the cruelest. they are so absorbed in their nice image that they actually forget to be nice Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrystalCastles Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Every guy is different. I'm not anti skinny jeans, but I prefer skirts & dresses on women. Mini skirts & sun dresses apeal to me, if the rest of the look works. I don't know much about fashion, but know what catches my eye. To me, too much feminine behavior can be a bit of a turn off, as it seems a bit fake. Something I find attractive in a girl is versatility. There's nothing wrong about being a rough tomboy. I like it when a girl is willing to get her hands dirty. I just wouldn't want to be with someone who does the tomboy thing 24/7. It'd be helpful if you could tell us someone famous who resembles you. How do most other girls your age range dress where you live. If you like, I can send you a few photos of myself via PM as I don't think there is any celebrity who looks like me. I don't really have any super great photos but there's enough to get a good critique (I really am no selfie queen haha). I do love being a tomboy. That's just who I am. Even as a kid I've always been out getting dirty while playing soccer. I'm super into outdoor activities, I'm not a fan of wearing clothes that I'd need to worry about and keep clean. However maybe a touch of femininity won't hurt? I'm trying to find a happy medium between being myself and getting a little out of my comfort zone. I think I had a good start a few days ago with my new maxi dress. Its still plain and simple and comfortable enough to be me, but its a bit more feminine than my usual converse. I do want to look attractive to men, but at the same time I really don't want to come off as high-maintenance. Most people in my city dress pretty fancy. In my group of friends, most girls dress country-style. I'm more of a bohemian girl, if I have to go more feminine. When I see a woman wearing a lot of make up I wonder what the hell it is she's trying to hide under there. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it! The line above also made me laugh haha! I don't believe in first impressions. A person's true character/scope cannot be denoted after just one meeting, and people often mask their true character. I also don't like to steretype, as there is the horn/halo effect. Agreed. I wrote a similar response to StalwartMind. First impressions definitely aren't everything, however I feel like of all things my appearance is lacking. If there's something I can improve upon, then why not? I'm still young, I feel like improving myself is an important process and I should take the chance. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/60/db/cc/60dbccecfbe3ff7a6dc2aa310c0056dc.jpg https://www.colourbox.com/preview/4678880-beautiful-teenage-girl-in-casual-clothes.jpg http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/jeans-sweater-woman-15517760.jpg Link to post Share on other sites
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