Dating a woman who has slept around....

[Vercetti]

Lol shining one, if a girl bangs a few djs in a club bathroom in one night...you're supposed to honor her and know how well adjusted and classy she is. Should even invite the djs to the wedding cause thier the upstanding types as well.

 

There is a way to enjoy sex without being a carnal controlled slog about it. Simple let those with like values be with each other. Would be silly if I had triple digets and got upset that a girl with single numbers and greater discreation for some odd reason had reservations about me.

[guest569]

There's having a preference, and then blatant shaming through name calling. Not sure why there is so much confusion on this. The double standard alone is just wrong, and cant be justified by "wah wah, some women have double standards too.. Like they're fat and date fit guys and expect men to pay wah wah wah" change your backward way of thinking because it is rather sick.

[Justanaverageguy]

Lol shining one, if a girl bangs a few djs in a club bathroom in one night...you're supposed to honor her and know how well adjusted and classy she is. Should even invite the djs to the wedding cause thier the upstanding types as well.

 

There is a way to enjoy sex without being a carnal controlled slog about it. Simple let those with like values be with each other. Would be silly if I had triple digets and got upset that a girl with single numbers and greater discreation for some odd reason had reservations about me.

 

I think that view is completely valid. If two people both decide to save themselves and be virgins until marriage that's a beautiful thing. Not for me but its beautiful in its own way and I respect anyone who wants to do that. I respect people who have limited sexual partners and only have sex with people they have LTR's with. But I also respect those who enjoy sex and can have casual sex as well as enter into monogomous, poly or whatever other type of relationship they care to enjoy.

 

The issue most of the women have here is:

 

1 - A lot of men have double standards so they aren't really being with people with the same values as them. They are happy to have casual sex and have high numbers themselves but don't want their future wife to have had the same experience or equal numbers of sexual partners to them. Jay1983 has already admitted he falls into this category so have several others guys on the thread.

 

2 - A lot of men feel that any woman who does not have the same sexual preference as them and enjoys having casual sex is a "slut", "whore" insert numerous other disrespectful knicknames to degrade these women. So the women feel their personal preference has been attacked and morally judged as "wrong". Its not that the girls care what your preference is. Its not that they care if wouldn't date them because they have had sex with more people then you personally prefer. Its that care about being morally judged as "wrong" for having casual sex. People have to understand just because you think it "wrong" ..... doesn't mean that it is.

 

There is no morally "wrong" or "right" or universally "better" way to have sex that applies to all. As long as you have sex in a respectful manner that pleases both parties involved and does not directly negatively affect someone else. EG: Cheating on a monogamous partner or something like that - everyone is sweet.

 

No one is saying you have to have to have casual sex or have sex with people who do have casual sex. Just don't disrespect others for having a different opinion to yours. So that means not using words like Slut, Whore, Carnally Controlled Slog etc Haha I actually like that last one

[mr_dave]

I wouldn't knowingly date a woman who has slept around. Here in England such women are everywhere, they go out clubbing every weekend and sleep with strangers, or if they've emerged empty handed with no new guy, they'll just sleep with one of their guy friends, just for a bit of fun. It seems so empty. Sex in such circumstances, or with such a woman would mean nothing to me, so I don't do it.

 

Casual sex and affection to me are mutually exclusive. How affectionate or romantic is the casual sex if you don't cuddle/embrace afterwards? (Cuddling seems to be a huge no-no from what I've heard)

If you do, how casual is it really, or, how empty are those embraces?

 

I'm a pretty romantic guy, I'll only have sex with someone if we're exclusive, and genuinely romantically interested in each other, with strong potential for it to go further.

Sex to me is a mutual expression of affection, I can't help myself from kissing the woman all over, caressing her for hours and telling her how beautiful I find her. Why would I do that with just any woman, who might after getting to know her further, be a complete b****? It would lose its meaning.

 

A poster earlier mentioned going to 200 orgies. The thought of going down where so many guys have been? I'd pass.. I'd go swimming at ***ushima first.

 

I'm 27, muscular but lean, decent looking, and my number is 3. I've had it offered to me on a silver plate with ribbons round it, but I've always said no. I'd rather just masturbate.

I want to meet the woman I spend the rest of my life with, and get there with the lowest number possible. If it took 5, 10 years before I met that woman, so be it.

 

I appreciate that a girl could accumulate a higher number than mine despite having a similar outlook to me. She may have had several boyfriends, or been dating a few guys thinking they were interested in being her BF and it was going somewhere, but then they disappear after sex. That I could take in my stride.

But if she had given it away to a guy who invested absolutely nothing, and was happily just a receptacle for him (even though the "using" was mutual)

why should I see her as more?

I would be selling myself short, I've been holding out for better all my adult life.

[Vercetti]

Aye, I view men and women the same. No issue with how people live life, unless they try and push it on everyone. Never liked when women would say just acting like a man, as if all men act such or its a free pass. Names are names, a spade is a spade. If I get strung out on drugs I can't be picky if I'm called a junkie...the dope feels good and is fun you're a prude if don't dose a book with a kilo.

 

7

[elaine567]

I think everyone gets compatibility and being like-minded is a huge plus in any relationship.

 

BUT there is a huge difference between having a PREFERENCE

ie for dark haired guys or dad bod guys for instance, which is perfectly fine and acceptable,

AND completely dissing any other guy who doesn't meet that standard of "correctness".

Dark hair - RIGHT - GOOD - tick.

Dad bod - RIGHT - GOOD - tick.

 

Blondes, red heads - ugh! - Women DO NOT Like blonde/red headed guys. Men like this will NEVER get married, believe me... YOU can say what you like, but NO woman would touch one of those guys...

 

Muscley - ugh! - Women DO NOT like muscley guys. NO-ONE wants to marry a gym rat - self obsessed preeners who are on steroids.

YOU can say what YOU like, but NO WOMAN wants a guy with muscles.

 

Totally barking mad, but women who happen to like sex - fair game.

[Vercetti]

I wouldn't knowingly date a woman who has slept around. Here in England such women are everywhere, they go out clubbing every weekend and sleep with strangers, or if they've emerged empty handed with no new guy, they'll just sleep with one of their guy friends, just for a bit of fun. It seems so empty. Sex in such circumstances, or with such a woman would mean nothing to me, so I don't do it.

 

Casual sex and affection to me are mutually exclusive. How affectionate or romantic is the casual sex if you don't cuddle/embrace afterwards? (Cuddling seems to be a huge no-no from what I've heard)

If you do, how casual is it really, or, how empty are those embraces?

 

I'm a pretty romantic guy, I'll only have sex with someone if we're exclusive, and genuinely romantically interested in each other, with strong potential for it to go further.

Sex to me is a mutual expression of affection, I can't help myself from kissing the woman all over, caressing her for hours and telling her how beautiful I find her. Why would I do that with just any woman, who might after getting to know her further, be a complete b****? It would lose its meaning.

 

A poster earlier mentioned going to 200 orgies. The thought of going down where so many guys have been? I'd pass.. I'd go swimming at ***ushima first.

 

I'm 27, muscular but lean, decent looking, and my number is 3. I've had it offered to me on a silver plate with ribbons round it, but I've always said no. I'd rather just masturbate.

I want to meet the woman I spend the rest of my life with, and get there with the lowest number possible. If it took 5, 10 years before I met that woman, so be it.

 

I appreciate that a girl could accumulate a higher number than mine despite having a similar outlook to me. She may have had several boyfriends, or been dating a few guys thinking they were interested in being her BF and it was going somewhere, but then they disappear after sex. That I could take in my stride.

But if she had given it away to a guy who invested absolutely nothing, and was happily just a receptacle for him (even though the "using" was mutual)

why should I see her as more?

I would be selling myself short, I've been holding out for better all my adult life.

 

 

Casual and the most intimate thing two humans can do feels lik a lie to me.

 

Those I knew that were with many were lacking, just going through universal general motions. Those that were more limited could read react focus learn and grow better. Girl that never gave oral ( did not know at time ) mopped the bloody floor of a formar stripper. Lack of anxiety of random sex with strangers doesn't automatically equal good in bed. Heck those with trusted partners are more active. 200 orgies...I'll cover that in a month Think a single guy playing the field has less down time then many married men. I love sex, the quickest safest way to get everything I want, is in a relationship...not enough people live where I'm at to burn through.

[guest569]

But if she had given it away to a guy who invested absolutely nothing, and was happily just a receptacle for him (even though the "using" was mutual)

why should I see her as more?

I would be selling myself short, I've been holding out for better all my adult life.

 

This is another common attitude. Any WOMAN who wants sex for sex sake, they are somehow givin up something for a mans pleasure only. The man involved is perfectly fine and respectable, but the woman is garbage.

[lino]

As an FYI, I've heard women use such derogatory terms aimed at each other far more often than I have from blokes mouths... Especially when saying it to a girls face.

This was when I was in late teens though, I don't hear it as often now in my early 30s.

 

I don't use such terms myself and don't know any guys that do either. I more commonly hear 'shes been around' and things like that.

 

In the end though, honestly the types of guys are more relevant to me than the number. If she's been a mattress for f#ck wit after f#ck wit, that's a lot more of a turn off for myself.

 

 

I wouldn't knowingly date a woman who has slept around. Here in England such women are everywhere, they go out clubbing every weekend and sleep with strangers, or if they've emerged empty handed with no new guy, they'll just sleep with one of their guy friends, just for a bit of fun. It seems so empty. Sex in such circumstances, or with such a woman would mean nothing to me, so I don't do it.

 

Casual sex and affection to me are mutually exclusive. How affectionate or romantic is the casual sex if you don't cuddle/embrace afterwards? (Cuddling seems to be a huge no-no from what I've heard)

If you do, how casual is it really, or, how empty are those embraces?

 

I'm a pretty romantic guy, I'll only have sex with someone if we're exclusive, and genuinely romantically interested in each other, with strong potential for it to go further.

Sex to me is a mutual expression of affection, I can't help myself from kissing the woman all over, caressing her for hours and telling her how beautiful I find her. Why would I do that with just any woman, who might after getting to know her further, be a complete b****? It would lose its meaning.

 

A poster earlier mentioned going to 200 orgies. The thought of going down where so many guys have been? I'd pass.. I'd go swimming at ***ushima first.

 

I'm 27, muscular but lean, decent looking, and my number is 3. I've had it offered to me on a silver plate with ribbons round it, but I've always said no. I'd rather just masturbate.

I want to meet the woman I spend the rest of my life with, and get there with the lowest number possible. If it took 5, 10 years before I met that woman, so be it.

 

I appreciate that a girl could accumulate a higher number than mine despite having a similar outlook to me. She may have had several boyfriends, or been dating a few guys thinking they were interested in being her BF and it was going somewhere, but then they disappear after sex. That I could take in my stride.

But if she had given it away to a guy who invested absolutely nothing, and was happily just a receptacle for him (even though the "using" was mutual)

why should I see her as more?

I would be selling myself short, I've been holding out for better all my adult life.

 

A wise attitude.

[lino]

This is another common attitude. Any WOMAN who wants sex for sex sake, they are somehow givin up something for a mans pleasure only. The man involved is perfectly fine and respectable, but the woman is garbage.

 

Females make it so by making a valuable prize of such men and by themselves using sex as a bargaining chip in relationships... 'If he expects me to put out regularly, he better be paying for fancy meal/bag/ring', etc

 

Change that and this whole idea changes. Simple.

You want to make sexual intercourse of equal value amoung both genders, it's in your power to do so.

Edited August 25, 2015 by lino
Added more.

[LookAtThisPOst]

40?!...yep, that's pretty much wh*re status right there. A walking petri dish of STDs

[Justanaverageguy]

But if she had given it away to a guy who invested absolutely nothing, and was happily just a receptacle for him (even though the "using" was mutual)

why should I see her as more?

I would be selling myself short, I've been holding out for better all my adult life.

 

And again using the word "better" which as already mentioned is subjective and personal. As we already established - if its better for you then keep doing what you are doing. No one is stopping you. Other peoples "description" of better can be completely different to yours and they are doing what they are doing and enjoying it to.

 

Its like comparing two different modes of transport. Say a car and a motorcycle. Which is better ? Some might say clearly the car because its larger, it can carry more people and your more protected from the elements and crashing. Clearly a much safer and better way to travel. But another person might think these "benefits" are actually detractors. They will say the motorcycle is better because its more nimble and agile and fun to drive. They don't care so much about taking large groups or the destination as they do the experience of actually driving. You can feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your back and enjoy the beautiful rain when it comes down. They are willing to accept the risk of crashing the motorcycle to enjoy the pleasure of riding it. More emphasis on the experiencing the journey then getting to the end of it safely Why be so serious they say ..... nobody gets out of life alive anyway.

 

So which is actually better ? It totally depends on your preference.

[mr_dave]

This is another common attitude. Any WOMAN who wants sex for sex sake, they are somehow givin up something for a mans pleasure only. The man involved is perfectly fine and respectable, but the woman is garbage.

 

How did you get that from my post? Notice the word mutual in there?

If I were bisexual I wouldn't touch the guys either.

 

Thing is though, do you know what the guy involved is thinking about you whilst you're laying down so easily with him?

I would guess that whilst a woman is thinking (during a ONS) 'this is great, he's hot' etc, an awful lot of guys would be thinking 'haha, what an easy sl**, I wonder if she'll let me put it in her ass?' 'I'll video it, maybe I'll invite my mate in from the other room and we can spit-roast her'

How many footballers (soccer) have been involved in such videos that have come to light?

 

My colleague is a 9-10/10 - great looking and well endowed. Even if they have boyfriends, girls will still want to try out his appendage, it's very large and word gets around. He's smooth, gentlemanly, and he's happy to oblige, but he views the women with (in his words) contempt and makes it as rough and as degrading as possible.

Edited August 25, 2015 by mr_dave

[elaine567]

Heck those with trusted partners are more active. 200 orgies...I'll cover that in a month

 

That is what I do not really get, men go on about "the penis inside her" and they do not want to go "where other men have been", yet a woman in a committed relationship can be having sex multiple times a day, be very experienced, confident and sexually aware.

She can spend oodles of time learning how to flirt and tease to get him into having sex with her in all sorts of "filthy" ways and love having sex, yet she is considered "good" as her "number" is one, but her actual sexual tally is maybe 100+ x a month.

 

BUT a girl hooking up once a month with an actual sexual tally of say 2x a month is a slut and sex mad...

[elaine567]

40?!...yep, that's pretty much wh*re status right there. A walking petri dish of STDs

 

It only needs sex with one infected person to get an std, a woman can sit at home knitting but if her husband is out there cheating with an infected person, she is at huge risk.

 

People who are active tend to get themselves regularly checked, those who feel they are "safe" and do not really need testing, are probably the more dangerous ones to get involved with.

[mr_dave]

That is what I do not really get, men go on about "the penis inside her" and they do not want to go "where other men have been", yet a woman in a committed relationship can be having sex multiple times a day, be very experienced, confident and sexually aware.

She can spend oodles of time learning how to flirt and tease to get him into having sex with her in all sorts of "filthy" ways and love having sex, yet she is considered "good" as her "number" is one, but her actual sexual tally is maybe 100+ x a month.

 

BUT a girl hooking up once a month with an actual sexual tally of say 2x a month is a slut and sex mad...

 

Because it's within a committed relationship! It's not just with any guy, it's with one she shares mutual love with. It's not how many times, it's how many guys. If you have a loving relationship with her, you'll be a lucky guy, because she doesn't do that for just anyone, so it's worth more, more meaningful. That's the point.

[elaine567]

Because it's within a committed relationship! It's not just with any guy, it's with one she shares mutual love with. It's not how many times, it's how many guys. If you have a loving relationship with her, you'll be a lucky guy, because she doesn't do that for just anyone, so it's worth more, more meaningful. That's the point.

 

OK, if it really IS more meaningful, how come many guys are all for casual and screwing anything they can get their hands on by fair means or foul.

[mr_dave]

OK, if it really IS more meaningful, how come many guys are all for casual and screwing anything they can get their hands on by fair means or foul.

 

Because some guys think with their little head. Even then, such guys will always value your example girl, who's only a freak for them, more than a girl who is a freak for everyone.

[LookAtThisPOst]

It only needs sex with one infected person to get an std, a woman can sit at home knitting but if her husband is out there cheating with an infected person, she is at huge risk.

 

People who are active tend to get themselves regularly checked, those who feel they are "safe" and do not really need testing, are probably the more dangerous ones to get involved with.

 

Would you actually gather a person who has had 40-something partners are really that "safe", even if they get themselves checked. Don't forget there's some serious overlap there and asymptomatic symptoms (sorry for the redundancy.)

[Justanaverageguy]

Because some guys think with their little head. Even then, such guys will always value your example girl, who's only a freak for them, more than a girl who is a freak for everyone.

 

No they won't. I'm not against your personal view - I completely understand and respect it. But for me personally if I met a girl today at my age who was a virgin or only had sex with 1-2 people I would find it kind of weird. Maybe if she has had 2 long term relationships and that's it I could understand but still .....

 

I like people who are open minded and not afraid to live life. I like people who don't adhere to societal standards, people who ask why ? and make their own mind up on the way to live. I like people who are adventurous, curious and free spirited. I'm not saying that is "better" - just saying that's what I like and that's my preference.

 

If I met a girl late 20's early 30's who had only been with 0-2 guys in her entire life I would have an initial idea that maybe she plays things very safe and is a bit of a rule follower and we probably wouldn't be compatible. I obviously wouldn't rule her out on sexual numbers because thats not actually whats important to me. It does give you some indication about a persons personality though which is what I care about. I would get to know her and she could very well surprise me. But my point is simply that my preference is not the same as yours. I wouldn't value her more because she had sex with 2 people instead of 15 or 20.

 

You really shouldn't try to speak for all men's preferences.

[Imported]

OK, if it really IS more meaningful, how come many guys are all for casual and screwing anything they can get their hands on by fair means or foul.

 

 

 

Many guys are all for it in theory, but never actually get to be the male gigolo they dream of being. Banging hot body 10 chicks or something kinda close.

 

 

Many girls on the other hand, can be the harlot in reality and get banged by guys they want to bang, but either not settle down with or know that the guy just wants them for sex and nothing more.

 

 

So you're gonna end up with a lot of guys with low numbers and a lot of girls with high numbers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I say as long as her past does not slap me in the face, I will judge her as I go along. If I start getting the feeling she was/is the towns communal bicycle, that's her past slapping me in the face. She is free to judge me the same. I conduct myself how I see fit, but my past stays in the past.

 

 

Guys that have sex with you, will talk about you. It will get around. Slept with guys at work? You betcha all the other guys know you do and any new guy that comes in will also be let known. "I'm sorry, I couldn't understand you, there seems to be a penis in your mouth". Work joke about some girl. Her initials were actually B.J. as well, funny how that worked out. Fun girl, but...not the girl you take home to meet mom and dad.

 

 

Sexually adventurous? That's not how the guys in your social group will describe you.

 

 

 

 

I dunno man, but I am glad I didn't marry young.

[GorillaTheater]

A woman who has sex with 15+ men is just a turn-off because I want to feel like I "won" her and she was a challenge and not dropping her panties for a free drink.

 

...

 

I'm 29 and I've slept with 11 women. Not too high.

 

Only four more partners before you're a sl*t yourself. Bummer.

[Justanaverageguy]

Many guys are all for it in theory, but never actually get to be the male gigolo they dream of being.

 

Many girls on the other hand, can be the harlot in reality and get banged by guys they want to bang, but either not settle down with or know that the guy just wants them for sex and nothing more.

 

So you're gonna end up with a lot of guys with low numbers and a lot of girls with high numbers.

 

Face palm! Do you not see how the maths here does not add up at all ? Who are all these girls who get sex when ever they want actually banging ? Why are the guys numbers low and the girls high ? Normally its stated the other way around but either way it makes absolutely no sense ..... because you need 2 to tango. 1+1=2 The numbers are even on both sides.

 

Look at the percentage of guys who have decent numbers of sexual partners. I don't think 10 is that high but lets just say plus 10. Do you not realise there must be basically the exact same number of girls out there with similar numbers for that to happen. Unless of course all the men in the entire world are having casual sex with this tiny percentage of slutty women. They must be very very busy girls. All the rest are angels of course

[Maleficent]

Would you actually gather a person who has had 40-something partners are really that "safe", even if they get themselves checked. Don't forget there's some serious overlap there and asymptomatic symptoms (sorry for the redundancy.)

 

Generally, people who have a lot of casual sex are aware of the risk they are taking and are using protection and getting tested regularly.

 

Regardless of symptoms, an STD test clears out every possibility of having anything.

You just have to make sure you wait at least three months before getting tested.

 

When a test comes out negatives, there is no ifs and buts about it. The person is clean.

[autumnnight]

Like so many things on internet forums, I think this really boils down to emotional intelligence and tact.

 

There is nothing wrong with someone preferring to date a person who hasn't slept with many/any other partners.

 

The lack of emotional intelligence that drives them to name-call, make generalizations about people's moral's, get snarky and toss out the low blows - THAT is really the problem.

 

So if these men who want pure women could develop some tact, emotional intelligence, and social graces, they'd probably be fine.

 

Stop being an ass, and you won't make women mad.

 

Not rocket science, people.