BlueIris Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I hope so. Otherwise I'll turn this thread around and go straight home :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) You are only looking at this from YOUR point of view. Based on your name and what you wrote, I am going to walk out on a strong limb and bet that you had / having a difficult time of it with the ladies in your 20s. Truth is, a lot of men do exactly the same thing (or wish they could). Usually it's the "Betas" / "Nice Guys" / "Pajama Boys" who focus on / worry about this which I will explain why in a minute. Haha no I think you completely misunderstood the purpose of my post. I've witnessed this metamorphisis because I did basically exactly the same thing. I had plenty of fun when I was younger in my teens and early 20's and then wanted to settle down as I got older. I saw plenty of the girls do exactly the same thing. I have absolutely no issue with women who do the same ..... I actually prefer a women who has open views when it comes to sex rather then one who doesn't or pretends to be an "innocent angel" later in life. I actually think its comical that guys are so concerned with sexual past. I think it shows a huge amount of insecurity and lack of confidence. I'd prefer an honest women who is a freak in bed ..... then a liar that acts like a prude I was more poking a little bit of fun at the guys who claim to be able to detect promiscuous women later in life. Edited August 29, 2015 by Justanaverageguy Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I've totally changed. I used to have one FWB who I was close to and who respected me and I respected, inbetween relationships. Now, I wait for the right guy and I don't sleep with men outside of relationships anymore. It is a lot more joyful and I now realise that giving my body over to men who were falling head over heels in Love with me, was actually damaging my self esteem. I mean, I've never been the kind of girl who enjoyed one night stands. The rare few I tried I hated. I felt disguisting even though the men in question told me how attractive and desirable they found me and they wanted to hang out with me again. I only ever did FWB with men I KNEW and trusted implicitly, whom I shared chemistry with yet I could avoid falling for. I am still friends with my old FWB years later... I STILL felt empty and not the best woman I could be when I settled for less than true love when it came to sex. So not all woman who have * slept around * are still that way inclined. I see a therapist about it because I am still suffering trauma from the fact I didn't wait for a loving relationship for sex....... My therapist said that most people who do something once and hate it, don't do it again. The difference with me is, I self sabotage and self harm.... Having sex outside of relationships harmed me and I never liked it yet I still did it because I switched from cutting myself and starving myself, to harming myself through mild promiscuity ( I have never slept around every weekend, it was mostly one solid FWB occasionally) So yeah. Some of us women are now very satisfied and content with waiting for the right guy before we open our legs, DESPITE out more sexually liberal past. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I am currently dating a sexually conservative guy. He doesn't talk sex or expect sex early on in dating despite being an alpha manly man. He is highly intuitive ( he's a true empath) and he can sense that I am now, currently, a clean girl with a clean lifestyle that doesn't involve casual sex. He knows this because, well, I am not out partying or at bars on my weekends. I stay home and watch dvds or visit friends.... When I am around him my phone doesn't go bananas with men texting me. So not all men who respect themselves and are sexually conservative will dismiss girls with a past like me. They want us for who we are in the present, not who we were being in the past. Again - some women have slept around and it actually wasn't their true nature, or something they naturally enjoined or gravitated towards...... I for one slept " around " because I was confused and unhappy in my life! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 OP, I doubt anyone really cares what you choose to do or who you choose to date or marry, but your subjective and cludgy definitions and generalizations are a bit offputting. If I say the sky is green and the grass is blue, it's not an opinion, it's wrong. Likewise if I claim that all women hate guys with blond hair, there's no way I can possibly substantiate that. And yet you presume to speak for mankind on their desire for "hoes" as marriage material as well as define "hoe" or "loose" for everyone by your own subjective standards. Lol it's especially hilarious when ignorant men make such assumptions as " yeah that giro was so loose, she just have gotten around..." or men who assume women who wear tight dresses, " must be sexually open " to unwanted advances I have an extremely right vagina. And I wear really classy clothes. It is really amusing when I've hooked up with guys in my last who made statements like " I prefer girls like you who don't get around ". At the time, I did get around yet these men assumed I mustn't simply because my vagina didn't resemble the grand canyon. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Lol it's especially hilarious when ignorant men make such assumptions as " yeah that giro was so loose, she just have gotten around..." or men who assume women who wear tight dresses, " must be sexually open " to unwanted advances I have an extremely right vagina. And I wear really classy clothes. It is really amusing when I've hooked up with guys in my last who made statements like " I prefer girls like you who don't get around ". At the time, I did get around yet these men assumed I mustn't simply because my vagina didn't resemble the grand canyon. I think that's a myth anyway, that more sexually active women are looser Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Lol it's especially hilarious when ignorant men make such assumptions as " yeah that giro was so loose, she just have gotten around..." or men who assume women who wear tight dresses, " must be sexually open " to unwanted advances I have an extremely right vagina. And I wear really classy clothes. It is really amusing when I've hooked up with guys in my last who made statements like " I prefer girls like you who don't get around ". At the time, I did get around yet these men assumed I mustn't simply because my vagina didn't resemble the grand canyon. Do people really make these assumptions? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I think that's a myth anyway, that more sexually active women are looser Lol and they think they can make assumptions about how we act and dress. As if all women who " sleep around " wear a neon sign and look super skanky! Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Lol and they think they can make assumptions about how we act and dress. As if all women who " sleep around " wear a neon sign and look super skanky! Those neon signs are way too expensive. Who can afford them? Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Do people really make these assumptions? Yes. People seem to think women who have slept around have different values and are different types of women to the women that never slept around. I know this isn't always the case because I hold the same values surrounding sex as my mates who haven't slept around do. I am happily waiting for the right man, totally abstinent. I have no urges to go and hook up with men that don't matter to me.....I just happen to have tried it out in the past in order for me to have ascertained that I actually despise sleeping around and will never do it again due to the harm it caused me psychologically. Link to post Share on other sites
UntitledNotepad Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I'm not in the situation right now, but when I think about it, a part of me doesn't want to know how many men my date or gf has slept with. I'm a 29 y.o male in a major metropolitan area More importantly what matters is if she had lots of one night stands and was a party girl. If I was a woman I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy who had heaps of women that he slept with either. We all like to have sex on the third or forth date, but if a woman has say 25-50 partners that's a problem. I can usually tell by a woman's body language how sexually experienced she is, usually they are very confident and very independent and very good at using their body to attract other men like men these men are puppets on strings. See as a man I love party women, because which guy doesn't like easy sex. But then for settling down and LTRs I like a more modest and more conservative woman However this view presents a hypocrisy that I'm free to have sex with lots of easy club girls and have a high number yet I want my serious relationships to be with women with low numbers So either I can: A) change my perspective and be okay with women who also sleep around B) change my own habits to not chase after easy bar tail Even though I love easy sex, I wouldn't be living up to the principles I expect my future dates to uphold. So I'll be picking option B A woman who has sex with 15+ men is just a turn-off because I want to feel like I "won" her and she was a challenge and not dropping her panties for a free drink. A woman can enjoy sex but in committed relationships just like me. I'm not religious in the slightest but still feel sex shouldn't be like eating your favorite dish at a fast food joint. I see all these women empowerment shows like sex and the city, feminism, putting women on a pedestal, encouraging women to use their bodies to satisfy their ego and self esteem. The more hearts she can break the more modern and you go girl praise she gets. But this is just the same form of encouragement guys get when guys get together and say "yeah bro I banged her" and "I ****ed her fast" or "she was easy" I'm not saying sex is bad I think it's great I just don't like the kind of person the guy or gal become because I would never find a party girl suitable for anything more than a ONS. Biologically I want to go off to an island beach party and sleep with as many women as I can but then I'll be becoming what I don't like. I'm 29 and I've slept with 11 women. Not too high. But I'm reading stories of women who lie about their number or have numbers as high as 30 or 40 and it's just disgusting Don't worry about the "double standard". That is just how life is, biology really. Men can have sex with however many women as they want, and it does nothing but make them more attractive. Women, on the other hand, no matter how much feminism denies it, become less attractive when they have more partners. I'd say just follow your biology and don't worry about "being who I don't like". You are a man, so just do what you want and chill. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I have an extremely right vagina. And I wear really classy clothes. It is really amusing when I've hooked up with guys in my last who made statements like " I prefer girls like you who don't get around ". At the time, I did get around yet these men assumed I mustn't simply because my vagina didn't resemble the grand canyon. Even for an anonymous internet forum where people discuss all kinds of personal relationship deals... that is too much information. The guys who believe themselves to be dating the vagina rather than the woman are also the guys who go for sheep when no human females are available. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Even for an anonymous internet forum where people discuss all kinds of personal relationship deals... that is too much information. The guys who believe themselves to be dating the vagina rather than the woman are also the guys who go for sheep when no human females are available. She should be able to be open without feeling self conscious afterwards Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 She should be able to be open without feeling self conscious afterwards You could have said something witty or profound. Instead you went dirty. Can't blame you though. Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 You could have said something witty or profound. Instead you went dirty. Can't blame you though. Huh? Confused... Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I know some women who hook up with guys some weekends that they go out. All of thee women are desperate for a boyfriend and really want love. They have good careers and they dress conservatively. I just choose to not hook up anymore until I meet what feels like at the time, the right person to start s LTR with. I am no different or better wife material that those girls who hook up occasionally outside of relationships, simply because I no longer feel interested in hooking up SANS relationship. Just like how my friend, who has never slept around, is not going to be any different as a wife than myself, simply because I slept around when younger. We all hold the same values...we want true love and committment by an honourable man who doesnt cheat. The way we get there just varies. I do understand why some people have preferences based on our last or present hook up patterns..... however, plenty of conservative guys are missing out on true love because they dismiss women based on their sexual past even if these woman would have been totally fantastic and loyal partner long term........ And what if s formerly promiscuous girl is not only loyal and devoted and clean of STI s, but she's also got outstanding values and morals? What if she's hugely altruistic, talented and kind? Throwing a decent woman away because of her sexual history makes you judgemental. And you're likely going to miss out on a woman who you could have adored. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Don't worry about the "double standard". That is just how life is, biology really. Men can have sex with however many women as they want, and it does nothing but make them more attractive. Women, on the other hand, no matter how much feminism denies it, become less attractive when they have more partners. I'd say just follow your biology and don't worry about "being who I don't like". You are a man, so just do what you want and chill. If a man meets a woman and feels true chemistry and finds her drop dead gorgeous and adores her personality, she isn't going to become unattractive simply because of her last...if they had something real go begin with, he will still fall for who she is, and one element about her and her life won't stop true love from blossoming. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Even for an anonymous internet forum where people discuss all kinds of personal relationship deals... that is too much information. The guys who believe themselves to be dating the vagina rather than the woman are also the guys who go for sheep when no human females are available. I no they were attractive men with options. They didn't think I was the type to sleep around based on my vagina and clothing attire. Which is bone it ignorant since alone since women who sleep around can act desirable and not let on that they do infact, sleep around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 I no they were attractive men with options. They didn't think I was the type to sleep around based on my vagina and clothing attire. Which is bone it ignorant since alone since women who sleep around can act desirable and not let on that they do infact, sleep around. Guys are clueless, I know I was and I am sure I still am Link to post Share on other sites
Two Pump Chump Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 People seem to think women who have slept around have different values and are different types of women to the women that never slept around. Okay... I just happen to have tried it out in the past in order for me to have ascertained that I actually despise sleeping around and will never do it again due to the harm it caused me psychologically. You want me to hitch my wagon to that horse because...? I am just a great guy, therefore I should date women who spent a decade in their "bad boy phase" making bad choices and deal with all the psychological / emotional problems that steams from it? What would posses you to think I would willingly agree to pay for crimes I didn't commit? Me thinks most 30 something sane men are going to pursue a younger / hotter 25 year old who still appreciates it when you take out for a nice steak dinner and has a lot fewer "miles" on them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Okay... You want me to hitch my wagon to that horse because...? I am just a great guy, therefore I should date women who spent a decade in their "bad boy phase" making bad choices and deal with all the psychological / emotional problems that steams from it? What would posses you to think I would willingly agree to pay for crimes I didn't commit? Me thinks most 30 something sane men are going to pursue a younger / hotter 25 year old who still appreciates it when you take out for a nice steak dinner and has a lot fewer "miles" on them. That seemed cruel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Two Pump Chump Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) That seemed cruel If you subscribe to her point of view that... If a man meets a woman and feels true chemistry and finds her drop dead gorgeous and adores her personality, she isn't going to become unattractive simply because of her past... Go ahead and knock yourself out. Just presenting the other side and saying there is at least one man (me) who does not subscribe to her beliefs. Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kilgore Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) Either way it seemed like there was a gentler way to make the same point Edited August 29, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Okay... You want me to hitch my wagon to that horse because...? I am just a great guy, therefore I should date women who spent a decade in their "bad boy phase" making bad choices and deal with all the psychological / emotional problems that steams from it? What would posses you to think I would willingly agree to pay for crimes I didn't commit? Me thinks most 30 something sane men are going to pursue a younger / hotter 25 year old who still appreciates it when you take out for a nice steak dinner and has a lot fewer "miles" on them. A 30 year old would be happy with a 28 year old woman like me. I have the body of a 20 year old and look young for my age due to good genes. What 30 year old wouldn't be happy with that? Plenty of 30 year olds would be thrilled with me. I have several after me on a regular basis. So I definately don't have issues with my level of attraction and desirability thanks. I happen to meet many late 20 s and early 30s men who think I am gorgeous and are very happy to date me over a younger hotter girl. And what makes you think that all 30 year old men want a super young looking super model look alike? What planet are you living on Normal sane 30 year olds I know look for women they are attracted to. They don't assign an age preference and they don't need them to be models. And you do realize plenty if women who are over 25 do meet ample guys who think they are gorgeous? Anyways. You probably won't fathom that men can be hugely attracted to women who aren't model look alikes. And what makes you think I don't appreciate a man taking me out? What do u think us formerly promiscuous women like? That we don't enjoy the same simple things as women who were never promiscuous? How ludicrous. And I haven't wasted my time sleeping with " bad boys ". Nor do I carry any signs or indications that I slept around in the past. I dress the same, talk the same and hold the same values about sex and love as my mates who never slept around. The ONLY difference between me and my mates who didn't sleep around, is that I went through a promiscuous phase and they didn't. I actually act the same as my friends who have never slept around. I hold the same values as them. You couldn't tell the difference. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 That seemed cruel Lol well he's delusional because I am very desirable to plenty of 30 year olds. I am not the type of girl normal people think of as " the girl that men bypass in favour of hitter younger girls "......Because, well...... I am at the same level as many of the hotter younger girls. Because I work out and am slim and take care of myself. I don't have issues with attracting quality men. I am always being asked on dates and dating someone... And no man normal man thinks I am a " Hoe ". Seriously. No normal person would think I am a "Hoe ". Because.... I'm not? I lewd s clean lifestyle? I do not go out on weekends to bars and pick up guys. I don't indulge or enjoy " Hoe " like activities and therefore, no normal guy would think I promiscuous girl. Because I am not one. What you do in your past doesn't mean you're participating in the SAME activities you engaged in previously. Link to post Share on other sites
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