Author dub4502 Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 Thanks for all the input guys. I guess I know what needs to be done... She has gotten more distant and cold since we had a conversation about this....I was non accusing, calm, not defensive, guess some random is more important than an so's feeling...Oh well is what it is.... Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Thanks for all the input guys. I guess I know what needs to be done... She has gotten more distant and cold since we had a conversation about this....I was non accusing, calm, not defensive, guess some random is more important than an so's feeling...Oh well is what it is.... She's overeacting about this and your questions were reasonable. Have you got kids yourself? If not, then why hassle yourself with a woman with 2 kids and an ex she hasn't started divorce proceedings with? She has baggage and an attitude to match. Now she's being childish. Don't waste any more time with her. You can get a single woman very easily, who doesn't come with the baggage. She could help her friend set up her own tinder account. It's a convenient excuse to get to see Joe. She's the kind to blow up over petty stuff, then blame you. Stay away from such women. Dump her. Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Thanks for all the input guys. I guess I know what needs to be done... She has gotten more distant and cold since we had a conversation about this....I was non accusing, calm, not defensive, guess some random is more important than an so's feeling...Oh well is what it is....[/QUOT There is a simple fix to this and I don't see how it all can be resolved as long as you remain mature and word things in a proper manner. You can bring it up one last time but start with "babe listen I'm sorry if it sounded like I was coming at you the other day about the dating sites and guys or if it came off like I don't trust you. Of course I trust you, you're absolutely incredible and I know you care about your friends and want to help them socialize. That being said can you just for a minute try to look at it from my perspective or if you were in a guys shoes? Even if you don't care about this guy Joe one bit and want nothing to do with him.... That's not the point... Before we met you both were matched on tinder right? So that implies that you were both into or attracted to each other.... And now randomly you text him because you're coming into town on vacation and start asking about places to go, good spots to eat, drink, etc. Can you see how that might give him the wrong impression? Might make him think "hm maybe shes still into me and wants to chill" ? That's all I was trying to express to you. Explain it like that so that she sympathizes with you and I think you'll be all set. Clearly she should agree that guys might get the wrong idea even if her intentions are innocent and only acting on her friends behalf. But Joe doesn't know that and it made you feel uncomfortable that she was standing up for him as if he knows your gf better than you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 It's very simple. The bull about setting up her friend with this guy she met on Tinder is just that..bull. So she meet him on a dating site that matched the two of them up, but she decides he's a match for her friend even though they actually haven't met in person? Surely just give the friend the guys number and let them talk. So she calls this guy so all three of them can go to bars? The problem is upon hearing the BS and the excuses, you're now stuck in the position of trying to barter a settlement to said BS. What exactly is the problem here? Is she so dead set to set her friend up with this guy? Why is she so adament to set her friend up with this guy? This guy is not a friend, he's a guy she hasn't met yet that was matched up with her on a dating website, so this has more to do with her meeting the cute guy from the dating website than setting up her friend. So no you're not overreacting. Your next call to her should be a straight break up because she's giving you the silent treatment because you busted her trying to hook up with her fantasy dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 What on earth is a 31 year old woman in a committed relationship doing "swiping" with guys on Tinder for my friend. The reason she is getting soe defensive is because she is up to no good and my guess is you are about to discover if you sticj around that she has met this guy and more. Now if you really want to go to the trouble, you could put a VAR in her car, and you would probabyl find out she is talking to this guy regularly. Or you could tell her that if she wants to fix this girlfriend up you will go withher to meet up with the girlfriend and Tinder guy. My guess is she would have no interest in that. Communicating with another man on Tinder under the pretext of fixing up her girlfriend is as big a red flag as could be waved in your face. And the more angry and defensive she gets about it, the more likely it is she has already hooked up with him Link to post Share on other sites
Author dub4502 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 Again thanks everyone for their input!! I ended up breaking up with her Friday. Realized her reacting this way about a simple question about some tinder guy, that seems to be justified, is only going to get worse and not better. Before the breakup she kept defending her position of trying to help a friend out and shes going to continue to talk to whoever she pleases, ex, prospects, ets, even if it bothers me. I said enoughs enough, you want to continue to grow cold and distant, not communicate about an issue, just blow it off as me being insecure, so be it. Gave no ultimatum to stop, and just called it off. She was caught off guard which was odd in my opinion. But then started with the good, I knew there was no long term potential from a few things i've seen. Her reason, 1. on weekends when we aren't together I sleep to much?(Uhh I have no kids, and no obligations taking up my weekend) 2. She claims she is a go getter and i'm to laid back about getting to where we need to be.( I see no need to rush to weekend activities unless we have a strict time). 3. I'm a bad influence on her kids with some of the things I do. Sure the bad influence would make perfect sense but I asked how, so I could correct that behavior in the future. Well I can't correct it.....it's just who I am. Apparently flipping into the pool, boogey boarding in to big of waves, showing them how to jump with their skateboard correctly, how to hit in football correctly, all things like that were her gripe. I didn't think any of those things are a bad influence, tell me if i'm wrong?!?! I'm to much like a big brother, not enough like an adult is what I was told. I let her know hey i'm not here to play Dad, i'm here to be a friend with the kids, like the uncle they get excited to see, of course if I have to lay the law down I will, but that's not what I want to do. But anywho figured i'd give you all an update! I think i'm better off without this one. Thanks again, onto new horizons! Link to post Share on other sites
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