Fiance supposed to be playing Poker, appears to be playing Poke her with a Stripper.

[angel.eyes]

With all due respect, where is the progress in this? Where are the positives? You're still living in his tiny 1,000 foot busted up house with him, digging up dirt on his stripper love, paying his mortgage, and jealously engaging with him about her faults in a misguided pick me dance. Nothing has changed! Absolutely nothing.

 

When are you actually planning to disengage from him and the dysfunctional situation, find your own place to live, and move on with your life?

[dreamingoftigers]

So I have stopped and started writing replies. My brain feels like mush right now.

I have a bright side to look forward to, but right now is just so soul sucking.

Why can't he just be solemn ?

He keeps either acting chirpy and upbeat or snapping at me when I respond in a very somber manner.

Is he insane ?

 

Don't worry about this.

 

My father was like this with my mother when he was caught. Just so effing arrogant.

 

Why? Because they are effed-up in a way that hasn't been mapped by normal people with empathy.

 

Because they just SUCK.

that's really all you need to know. THEY SUCK.

[kendahke]

As I said, if you live in the States and if your mail is being delivered to this house, he can't by law make you leave as it's your established residence. That doesn't mean you have to pay the entire mortgage. That's ridiculous.

 

Yes he can.

 

OP--he most certainly can start the legal eviction process to get you out of his house since he can prove you've been basically paying to live there. Your name isn't on the mortgage. So, no, it's not ridiculous that he can get you out of there.

[kendahke]

He's so pathetic that he is following the stripper when she changes clubs.

I have even tried to calmly explain to him that women (and perhaps men) who are full time strippers tend to come from sexually abused childhoods and are overwhelmingly prone to BPD. I won't elaborate on the texts I have read between them, but she is a classic lying drama queen. Plus I looked up her phone number and there are reports going back to last year claiming her phone number is involved in telemarketing/unwanted phone calls. Shady stuff. I mentioned this info in passing to him finally (I haven't tried to learn anything about "Trinity/Krystal" of Baltimore strip clubs in months )and it's the one time he got upset in the last few months.

So I will stay mum on it from now on.

 

He has explained how she resembles a tiny 5'2 brown haired Marilyn Monroe

and if I wasn't a tall curvy redhead and was like her he'd want to still marry me.

Thanks, I 'll take being like Christina Hendricks over a tiny nothing. I have queried if he has ever seen her without makeup.

He is so smitten with her that he tried to claim oh she doesn't really wear any makeup.

I did a spit take on that.

Marilyn Monroe only looked like her iconic self because of her makeup. lol

 

Anyway I just wanted to update this post to show you can get over your ex, you can live with them (caveat being to not lay a finger on each other of course) and not go insane.

 

 

OP, you haven't gotten over anything. You're still obsessing over this chick he's dealing with,.

 

She never was the problem here---he was and as an aside, your reluctance to act in in a timely fashion in your own best interests. You're stuck on what she looks like without makeup? You let yourself be at the mercy of someone who didn't have your best interests at heart going on 6 months and I don't see how you think that's OK.

 

You've willingly stayed in that situation for 4 months longer than you needed, putting your ability to lay your head in a peaceful home at the mercy of a man and his mother who want you gone. That is something you really need to focus on instead of what chickie looks like without make up.

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't understand why you haven't moved out by now. Is it not his place? Are you taking over the lease? I may have missed something in the thread, but can you clarify whose name is on the unit?

 

Anyway, I am happy you are feeling better but I think you still have a long way to go. Going to the trouble of looking up her phone number and comparing yourself to her (with or without makeup) is a clear indication you're still emotionally attached to him and not over him at all, really.

 

You two should not still be living together months later. Only then will you really and truly be able to move on.

[dignifiedgirl]

With all due respect, where is the progress in this? Where are the positives? You're still living in his tiny 1,000 foot busted up house with him, digging up dirt on his stripper love, paying his mortgage, and jealously engaging with him about her faults in a misguided pick me dance. Nothing has changed! Absolutely nothing.

 

When are you actually planning to disengage from him and the dysfunctional situation, find your own place to live, and move on with your life?

 

Your post is rude and insulting and of no value.

[Zahara]

Your post is rude and insulting and of no value.

 

You find it rude and of no value because it's the truth and deep down you know that the only reason you are still there is because you cannot let go.

 

Progress is you having moved out of his home 6 months ago, using the money you pay for his mortgage on an apartment that is your own -- providing you with peace, freedom and independence. Allowing you to sever ties, heal and move on with your life. If anything at all, for your own self-respect, you would have left.

 

Instead, for the past 6 months you've stayed in a place with someone that has degraded and cheated on you -- while you still sit consumed with the stripper and his behavior. Still harping on her makeup, his choices, etc. -- when you should have been/BE focusing solely on your own life if you had moved out months ago. But, still explaining to him the harm of being involved with her six months later.

 

You have the ability to move out and move on. Do it.

Edited March 2, 2016 by Zahara

[Toodaloo]

Your post is rude and insulting and of no value.

 

It is not rude and it is of value.

 

When are you going to value yourself and get away from a man who gleefully rubs a stripper in your face?

 

Do yourself a favour and get OUT. You are doing this to yourself here. Get away from him asap.

 

You have been given good, sound advice and not acted on a single word of it.

 

The way you are behaving is far from dignified...

[VeveCakes]

This makes no sense! You pay the mortgage so why can't you pay rent at an apartment? You are completely wasting your life on this loser.