dogood4urself Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Why is my heart still broken? My ex and I dated for about nine months and broke up about 3 months ago. I broke up with her, then I wanted her back, and she said she needed to be alone and take care of herself...I was crushed, then she began to call me again, telling me she missed me and that I was everything she wanted in a person, and that she wanted to hang out but that she couldn't do the relationship thing just yet. So we started doing the post relationship thing for a while, and it was really confusing and hurtful, one day she would tell me she was in love with me, the next she would tell me that she wasn't and that she didn't know what that meant...then she would say she was wrong before and that she was still in love with me...and then she said she loved me but wasn't in love with me a couple of days later. In our post-relationship it seemed like she just called me when she needed someone to take care of her, or love her and then she would say she needed more space, then a couple of days later she would call me an tell me she missed me. So I had to finally break it off and cut her out of my life, I loved her very much but she became toxic and I had to do the right thing for myself. I have had such a hard time getting over her, I haven't been interested in anyone else since, I have gone on a few dates, but no one that I really care about. Most of me has moved on from her, actually a lot of good things have happened to me since the break up, but I still miss her and love her the same as I did when we first broke up. I am so confused, sometimes I feel like it is over and I am doing well and I can go a couple of days without thinking about this person and knowing that she really isn't good for me.... And then in a split second I feel really sad and lonely and miss her presence in my life. Is this normal? I want her back so badly sometimes, but I know that in reality it wouldn't be how I would want it to be. And that I should be on my own for a while. My friends are sick of hearing about her, they thought she was bad for me and that I should just let it go and move on. We had not had contact for 3 months, until very recently she e-mailed me to ask for something back. I wrote her back a message saying that I wanted to be at peace with her and be friends. We have been keeping kinda in touch since, and I will probably have to see her soon to give her stuff back to her. Can anyone tell me what's going on? is this normal? Is seeing her a good idea? just looking at her myspace profile turns my heart inside out. At the same time I think that if I am friends with her, maybe I can reassure myself that I don't like who she REALLY is as a person, instead of having her on a pedestal in my mind when I am away from her. I mean I broke up with her originally for a reason right??? Can someone tell me I am not alone? I feel ****ing tormented... Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 You broke up with her, so that puts her in the power seat. I think what this is really just grief. It's normal, and after this much time, you should probably think about either scrapping it totally and letting go, or try and make a real play at it. You can't go on forever torturing yourself. If you have doubts that it's going to work, then you will eventually sabotage it. Call my ex-girlfriend if you want to know more about sabotage. It's called self-fulfilling prophecy. And unfortunately, people do this to themselves and loved ones everyday. In five words- love it or leave it. Only see her if you need to, and if you think things will work. Otherwise leave it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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