She rationalizes about lying about her age

[LookAtThisPOst]

This is interesting. Found this rather elaborately written profile by a woman that even referenced Googling her screen name to find her on a dating webpage as well to see more.

This is not my real age, just want to keep it private.

So basically, she's admitting to lying about her age? Edited August 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed personal idenifying info, thread starters responses will be delayed

[Art_Critic]

Well of course she is lying about her age and playing a game on top of it pushing the need to know someone's age in OLD as the guys issue..

 

She is not telling the truth.. so she is only worthy of a "next", her loss....

 

Chances are she is closer to 60 and she found keeping her real age hidden so that she got more of the younger crowd to reply to her instead of men 65 and over.

 

People do all sorts of things to make themselves appeal to the audience they want to attract

[xxoo]

 

Do you understand the logic in that rationale?

 

Yes. She doesn't feel obligated to reveal her age on a dating website, and she's upfront about it.

 

Do you believe she is obligated to state her exact age?

[Art_Critic]

Do you believe she is obligated to state her exact age?

 

 

I think she is... age is one of the matching factors in OLD....

[elaine567]

Women, because society tends to write off women of a certain age, have always had to lie about their age.

That "desirable" age tends to get younger and younger, and I am guessing the threshold is now about 22... with anyone over that as being "past it"...

 

I do not know how old she really is, but she looks great for 51 and can not be described as decrepit in any way. I've seen some at 35 look a lot older.

She is intelligent, well travelled, got a good education, tri-lingual and is willing to date up to 57, so who really cares?

Edited August 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[xxoo]

I think she is... age is one of the matching factors in OLD....

 

She is probably compatible with men a bit more rebellious

[elaine567]

She is probably compatible with men a bit more rebellious

 

I think that may be it, she actually looks and sounds alive, and that trait can sometimes be difficult to find in some men of the 55+ age group.

My guess is she doesn't want to be paired off with some grumpy old man.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yes. She doesn't feel obligated to reveal her age on a dating website, and she's upfront about it.

 

Do you believe she is obligated to state her exact age?

 

Of course, esp. since at one time I decided to give a woman a shot when she lied about her age to me from OK Cupid. Happened a few years ago. It was only on the phone where she fessed up, "I'm not my stated age as mentioned on the dating profile."

 

I said, "Okay, how old are you then?"

 

She gave me probably the oldest cliche' in the book,"A lady never tells her age."

 

I was like fine, I'll go along with it. Meet up with her and go out on a couple of dates.

 

After the 2nd date, I attempted to find out finally. Still...she wouldn't tell me.

 

I said, "Well, if you won't tell me her age, and if you're willing to lie about something like that, chances are you'll lie to me about other things."

 

And I moved on.

 

Women, because society tends to write off women of a certain age, have always had to lie about their age.

 

Right, it's a double standard at times with some women that have convinced themselves that they have the right to lie to the person they are dating about their age.

 

I have good male friend, was married to his wife and after 5 years found out she lied about her age. He saw her b-day on her Driver's Licence and she was like "How DARE you snoop around!"

[guest569]

After the 2nd date, I attempted to find out finally. Still...she wouldn't tell me.

 

I said, "Well, if you won't tell me her age, and if you're willing to lie about something like that, chances are you'll lie to me about other things."

 

And I moved on.

 

Did you???? Did you move on????

[xxoo]

I think that may be it, she actually looks and sounds alive, and that trait can sometimes be difficult to find in some men of the 55+ age group.

My guess is she doesn't want to be paired off with some grumpy old man.

 

Refusing to reveal her age should eliminate the men who are hung up on age and rules. If it annoys them that she's breaking the rules, that screens them out.

 

She put it right there in her text. She's not trying to make anyone believe that IS her age.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Did you???? Did you move on????

 

Of course! Hadn't been in contact with her since.

[Art_Critic]

My guess is she doesn't want to be paired off with some grumpy old man.

 

I'm sure that is part of it... but it doesn't mean that she should lie about her age..

I think she is doing herself more harm than good though as the people she might be most matched with won't like the fact she is being coy and hidden.. it makes a person wonder what else she would hide under a guise or layers of self dishonesty

[elaine567]

I'm sure that is part of it... but it doesn't mean that she should lie about her age..

I think she is doing herself more harm than good though as the people she might be most matched with won't like the fact she is being coy and hidden.. it makes a person wonder what else she would hide under a guise or layers of self dishonesty

 

I guess she is 55-57 and doesn't want to be slotted into the 55-59 age group, as I guess that may restrict her choices for younger men or even for men her own age.

At 55-57 she will then be attracting the 65+ "retired" male age group and that for an attractive, dynamic woman I guess she sees as a step too far. She will not want to be a nursemaid to a rapidly ageing retiree. I guess she is better off single than that.

[Keenly]

Who wants to date some one so shady that they immediately have to lie about WHO THEY ARE to, in their minds, get people to like them.

 

 

I wouldn't date a liar, but I'd date an older woman.

[elaine567]

Who wants to date some one so shady that they immediately have to lie about WHO THEY ARE to, in their minds, get people to like them.

 

I wouldn't date a liar, but I'd date an older woman.

 

Yes, but most people tend to have age limits and will search OLD within their age limit.

At "51" she will meet the criteria of some men of her own age say (55-57) and so her pic, the fact she is financially independent, attractive and a good catch, may mean she has a chance.

At 57 and placed in the 55-59 age group, the viewing traffic I guess there is slowing up, and many 57yo men are not looking for 57yos anyway.

We can all be judgemental here, but in order to get what they want, people sometimes have to play games.

At least she is saying I am NOT 51, I guess many in her position may have said nothing or chanced their luck and said 45.

[Shining One]

This is the exact same scenario as a man lying about his height on a dating site. Being dishonest about an attribute that commonly leaves you filtered out is a good way to increase your chances.

 

Let's assume her real age is 57. If a man has his search parameters set to 55 at the max, she won't even get viewed. By saying she's 51, she will get viewed. An unviewed profile has a 0% chance and a viewed profile has a greater than 0% chance. She points out that she isn't really 51 in her profile, so anyone who reads her profile will see that any way.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yes, but most people tend to have age limits and will search OLD within their age limit.

At "51" she will meet the criteria of some men of her own age say (55-57) and so her pic, the fact she is financially independent, attractive and a good catch, may mean she has a chance.

At 57 and placed in the 55-59 age group, the viewing traffic I guess there is slowing up, and many 57yo men are not looking for 57yos anyway.

We can all be judgemental here, but in order to get what they want, people sometimes have to play games.

At least she is saying I am NOT 51, I guess many in her position may have said nothing or chanced their luck and said 45.

 

Funny how some people can rationalize this. I hear about how women have done this. Seen it done on POF, where the woman admits in her profile that,

 

"Hey, I'm really not this age at all, I look young for my age and still carded when I enter night clubs, LOL!"

 

They just manipulate the numbers in their age drop down to cougar their way to dating younger men.

 

Very vain on their part.

 

This also shows an insecurity on her part that she isn't proud of her age. A woman who is secure will reveal her TRUE age as she should be proud that she looks good at THAT age. I mean you would think, right?

[GemmaUK]

Of course! Hadn't been in contact with her since.

 

 

That you moved on yet you knew before you met her that she was not telling the truth..

You two obviously chatted before that date..

You had one date...

Chatting in between..

Plus a second date..

.. makes it pretty obvious that it wasn't the lie about her age/non disclosure of it that made you move on. It was some other reason that you stopped contact (or she did).

 

I'm not saying it was OK to lie. I just wouldn't have even chatted with nor met the guy - if it had been a guy. You reason for moving on doesn't make any sense when you knew it from the start.

[LookAtThisPOst]

That you moved on yet you knew before you met her that she was not telling the truth..

You two obviously chatted before that date..

You had one date...

Chatting in between..

Plus a second date..

.. makes it pretty obvious that it wasn't the lie about her age/non disclosure of it that made you move on. It was some other reason that you stopped contact (or she did).

 

I'm not saying it was OK to lie. I just wouldn't have even chatted with nor met the guy - if it had been a guy. You reason for moving on doesn't make any sense when you knew it from the start.

 

I thought I would this one time go out on a couple of dates with her as some friends told me to give it a shot anyway and that perhaps she'll reveal it to you after she got to know you a little, because some people are nervous and have their reservations about online dating, in general.

 

She seemed intelligent and had a pretty good personality otherwise, and I found nothing else really off-putting about her as I was getting to know her over the phone and from our 1st and 2nd dates. Then, when she still wouldn't tell me, well obviously there's something wrong upstairs after she met me face-to-face.

 

I was figuring after we'd met in person, she would tell me her age.

[MidwestUSA]

I could let this slide if, and ONLY if, she came clean about her real age within your first conversation.

 

As others have pointed out, men do the same thing with height (BTDT), and of course it's not possible to hide the truth with that one.

 

I never lied about my age on OLD, but did notice that many guys my age didn't have a preferred age range which reached mine, they were targeting ten years younger. I suspect I wouldn't have been interested in them anyway. Que sera.

[autumnnight]

I'm sorry, but I'm not getting this. My real age is well past what a lot of LS men consider "prime," and I still wouldn't lie about it. All that does is match me with people who aren't going to appreciate me for ME.

 

How is this any different from someone putting up a picture when they weighed 75 pounds less? If they say "this isn't what I look like now but I want you to like me for me," would that fly?

 

Here is someone who at best wants to manipulate and at worst is just dishonest.

 

The whole "well society makes me lie" just doesn't wash for me.

[elaine567]

Some women never reveal their age, it can be considered rude in some circles to ask a woman's age.

So why is it necessary for her to reveal her real age, fertility is no longer an issue, so does it really matter if she is 51 or 59?

[autumnnight]

Some women never reveal their age, it can be considered rude in some circles to ask a woman's age.

So why is it necessary for her to reveal her real age, fertility is no longer an issue, so does it really matter if she is 51 or 59?

 

 

If someone says "I'm in my forties" I don't consider that hiding their age. If they just won't say at all in the context of a dating site....yeah, to me that is dishonest. And once you have dated them several times, refusing to tell their age just seems bizarre.

[xxoo]

Comparing it to height, it would be like a man selecting a height as it is a required field, and then stating directly in the text, "That's not my real height. I prefer not to share my real height."

 

That's odd, sure, but hey, everything is valuable information. I haven't learned his height, but I've learned that he's got some objection to revealing his height. I think that's a lot more informative than his height, as a matter of fact! I might be intrigued by this mysterious man who refuses to conform to the OLD rules of play.

[xxoo]

If someone says "I'm in my forties" I don't consider that hiding their age. If they just won't say at all in the context of a dating site....yeah, to me that is dishonest. And once you have dated them several times, refusing to tell their age just seems bizarre.

 

That age selection on OLD determines who views you in a search. She's manipulating the system, but being honest about it (says so in the text).

 

Maybe she would tell her age to someone she likes on a date. I kind of understand not wanting your age on a public OLD profile. You're sometimes seen by people you know IRL, right? People don't use their real names. Why obligated to use their real ages on the profile? That info can be shared on a date. (yes, I understand this messes with people's ability to choose who to approach online, but IRL we don't usually know the age of a person we choose to approach, either.)