She rationalizes about lying about her age

[Keenly]

Some women never reveal their age, it can be considered rude in some circles to ask a woman's age.

So why is it necessary for her to reveal her real age, fertility is no longer an issue, so does it really matter if she is 51 or 59?

 

If it's not a big deal, why is she lying about it.

[Weezy1973]

Refusing to reveal her age should eliminate the men who are hung up on age and rules.

 

And will also eliminate men that think openness and honesty are important. Clearly she's not someone looking for that in a relationship, so win/win I suppose...

[xxoo]

And will also eliminate men that think openness and honesty are important. Clearly she's not someone looking for that in a relationship, so win/win I suppose...

 

Without a doubt!

 

It's great when people reveal such things about themselves. Much more informative than age, if you really think about it.

[impatiently_patient]

That age selection on OLD determines who views you in a search. She's manipulating the system, but being honest about it (says so in the text).

 

This is my problem with Tinder:

 

1. The only women who are attracted to me in the real world are 10 to 15 years younger than myself.

 

2. Women my age aren't attracted to me for whatever reason.

 

Tinder's default age range (I doubt many adjust it) would lock me out of being seen by anyone who would likely date me. Result: No matches.

 

What does one do?

[elaine567]

If it's not a big deal, why is she lying about it.

 

Because of OLD and how it works.

[xxoo]

This is my problem with Tinder:

 

1. The only women who are attracted to me in the real world are 10 to 15 years younger than myself.

 

2. Women my age aren't attracted to me for whatever reason.

 

Tinder's default age range (I doubt many adjust it) would lock me out of being seen by anyone who would likely date me. Result: No matches.

 

What does one do?

 

Not tinder

 

IRL, people don't select via age ranges we wear on our sleeves. I'd focus on IRL interactions that happen organically.

[Popsicle]

This is interesting. Found this rather elaborately written profile by a woman that even referenced Googling her screen name to find her on a dating webpage as well to see more.

So basically, she's admitting to lying about her age?

 

When I did OLD, I saw many guys do this, some younger, some older. I came to accept that it was common enough on there. I think I even made a thread about the younger ones. It's definitely weird to me.

 

And a "dating webpage" sounds so crazy to me. Makes me wonder if she's a cam girl or sex worker.....

[truthtripper]

So basically, she's admitting to lying about her age?

 

She obviously wants to be defined by who she is, not by her her age.

 

For those of you who place so much importance on age, GET WITH IT! These days, age is simply a number.

[LookAtThisPOst]

POF is on top of this as it actually gives the new user only 2 weeks and the age remains permanent.

 

Sometimes they'll say in their profile, "I can't change my age back, POF won't allow me", it's POF's version, "I got my hand caught in the cookie jar!"

[Imajerk17]

I think this topic has been covered on here before, a few times actually. That's ok, summertime is the time for reruns

 

The way I see it, you (generic "you") aren't compatible with most other people. This woman showed she isn't compatible with you by not revealing her age (and it wouldn't work for me either). That's cool it's an easy "next".

 

I think the above paragraph applies to 90% of your threads btw

Edited August 27, 2015 by Imajerk17

[Keenly]

Because of OLD and how it works.

 

Still a contradiction. Her age is a big deal to her. She is embarrassed by how old she is. No thanks, I don't need that kind of insecurity and dishonesty.

[elaine567]

Still a contradiction. Her age is a big deal to her. She is embarrassed by how old she is. No thanks, I don't need that kind of insecurity and dishonesty.

 

As her top age is 57 then I guess she is 55-57.

Guys her own age will not even I guess, look at the 55+ age group when looking for women, but she does look good and younger, so if she has some traffic at "51" she will get dates.

As a 55+ woman she will get some interest from the 65+ age range and little or no traffic as a 55+ yo women, from her desired mates (40-57), so she hasn't a hope in hell.

 

I think it is fine to sit there at, I am guessing here, thirty something and male, and make judgements, but I can easily see her predicament here.

I guess her "change of age" has been well thought through and the strategy been forged through necessity and lack of success.

[carhill]

This is not my real age, just want to keep it private.

 

As is her prerogative. Non-issue, IMO.

[edgygirl]

Same here but on okc. If I put 3 years more (my real age) I mostly get seen and contacted by guys who are 50-55+, don't want kids and are practically retiring / "tired" compared to me.

 

Sorry I can't go there just yet, so I reduce my age a little so the guys in my age range (40-48) can find me as they have their search tuned to the age I put. And they do find me. When they do, I disclose my age right away.

 

I wish there were age "ranges" instead of a definite number on online dating sites. Why should I have to disclose the exact number? It's not one's business, I don't do it in real life, why should I do it online?

 

This is my problem with Tinder:

 

1. The only women who are attracted to me in the real world are 10 to 15 years younger than myself.

 

2. Women my age aren't attracted to me for whatever reason.

 

Tinder's default age range (I doubt many adjust it) would lock me out of being seen by anyone who would likely date me. Result: No matches.

 

What does one do?

 

[edgygirl]

She is not embarrassed. Society treats women of a certain age like parias.

 

You will never understand the feeling as you're a man.

 

Still a contradiction. Her age is a big deal to her. She is embarrassed by how old she is. No thanks, I don't need that kind of insecurity and dishonesty.

[xxoo]

 

She obviously wants to be defined by who she is, not by her her age.

 

Well said. And don't we all!

[guest569]

OP, would you have ditched her if she said she was 60? Or was it just the principal? I understand that honesty is important and obviously she is not comfortable with her age and nor were you with the secret, the end. Which I totally understand, I would find it hard to trust someone after that too. But it doesn't seem like you really have moved on from this yet.

[kilgore]

OP, would you have ditched her if she said she was 60? Or was it just the principal? I understand that honesty is important and obviously she is not comfortable with her age and nor were you with the secret, the end. Which I totally understand, I would find it hard to trust someone after that too. But it doesn't seem like you really have moved on from this yet.

 

I think we should all forgive one another's minor insecurities

[Popsicle]

I think we should all forgive one another's minor insecurities

 

I agree. I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over someone having minor insecurities. I see it as being human and it never bothers me. I might even find it endearing.

[kilgore]

I agree. I don't know why people get so bent out of shape over someone having minor insecurities. I see it as being human and it never bothers me. I might even find it endearing.

 

Totally. We all have things that make us feel less than great. Best to laugh it off

[Popsicle]

But.... if their lying about insecurities causes big problems in other areas (as in, cause and effect) then that can be a real problem.

 

For instance, a woman lying and saying she's younger to make herself seem to be of childbearing age, just so she could date a man who wants children. I think this would be wrong, irresponsible and too selfish to forgive.

[kilgore]

But.... if their lying about insecurities causes big problems in other areas (as in, cause and effect) then that can be a real problem.

 

For instance, a woman lying and saying she's younger to make herself seem to be of childbearing age, just so she could date a man who wants children. I think this would be wrong, irresponsible and too selfish to forgive.

 

Agreed - that can really be harmful. Otherwise, how is it any different than dying one's hair or wearing a padded bra or stuffing a sock down the underwear?

[guest569]

I think we should all forgive one another's minor insecurities

 

Is that all it is? A minor insecurity? I don't really understand how that relates to my post.

 

I get that to some people, their age is highly personal information that can't be shared.. but if that's the case then I would be incompatible with them. I'm too open and honest to be dealing with someone like that. It's different if OP is interrogating her as a stranger on a dating site. But if you have met up a couple of times and still won't state something as basic as that.. I wouldn't call that a minor insecurity.

[kilgore]

Is that all it is? A minor insecurity? I don't really understand how that relates to my post.

 

I get that to some people, their age is highly personal information that can't be shared.. but if that's the case then I would be incompatible with them. I'm too open and honest to be dealing with someone like that. It's different if OP is interrogating her as a stranger on a dating site. But if you have met up a couple of times and still won't state something as basic as that.. I wouldn't call that a minor insecurity.

 

But even as open as you are aren't there things you would not share initially?

[edgygirl]

Didn't you say in other post that you're 25 yo woman or so?

 

I used to think like you. Honesty above all...

 

Believe me - your viewpoint on disclosing your age and to whom will change when you reach 35-40. Not because you're dishonest. It will happen the first time you innocently disclose your age to someone at work, or on a date... and are judged by that. I learned it the hard way that my age is not to be disclosed ie at work. It's a lose-lose situation. This is personal info that concerns to me and to those I chose to disclose it to. No one else.

 

Is that all it is? A minor insecurity? I don't really understand how that relates to my post.

 

I get that to some people, their age is highly personal information that can't be shared.. but if that's the case then I would be incompatible with them. I'm too open and honest to be dealing with someone like that. It's different if OP is interrogating her as a stranger on a dating site. But if you have met up a couple of times and still won't state something as basic as that.. I wouldn't call that a minor insecurity.