shanicle Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Hi! I'm new here but I just wanted some advice on something big going on in my life. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else about it, so here goes. About 2 years ago I quit dancing (exotic, not ballet). Now while I know some people may be judgemental of that kind of career I want to put it out there that I used it as a means-to-an-end. I put myself thru college, now have a degree and a good job. My problem is I can not associate with any of the people from my past anymore. It is allready embarrassing enough when I run into former customers but it's even worse when I run into girls I used to work with. One of my very closet friends, Millie, is taking the change in me really hard and I don't know what to do to make her understand that that just isn't my life anymore. She feels like I'm abandoning her. We did go thru some tough times together in the "club life" but I can't stay out until all hours of the morning and do whatever the hell it was that I used to find so exciting. I love her to death, but how do I make her understand I am no longer part of the groupie lifestyle without hurting her feelings anymore than I think I have? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 You have to find new friends, simple as that. The life you left behind is the life they're still living. You no longer share that bond with them. Not anymore. Friendship is based more on convenience than mutual respect. You're finding that out now, sad to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 If she is a good friend she will be happy that you are not dancing anymore and that you have your career and you got yourself through school. Try to do other things with her and explain to her why exactly you cannot go out as much as you did before. Let her know your lifestyle has changed but that your friendship has not and that if it ever changes that it will only be for better. I am sure she will understand and she does not then maybe she is not such a great friend, but also see if YOU are distancing yourself too much from her and that is why she feels so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
kkat Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 I'd add that it's OK, in my opinion, if you don't want to be in an active friendship with her anymore. People move on from friendships, especially when they are work or lifestyle based, as yours was with her. So, whether you choose to do other things with her should be determined by whether or not you WANT to stay in touch with her as a friend. If you feel like staying in touch with her/someone from that part of your life isn't positive for you then don't stay in touch with her. Do what's best for you - you're not moving on to be mean, you're moving on to be kind to yourself. Good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
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