maggie Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 to anybody that can help: see awhile ago i was in a serious relationship and came on here 4 month ago cuz i was having problems since then i took tonys advice i got rif of my ex bf...jay...and now hooked up and am getting married to daniel.... well i was with jay for 9 months and we were planning on getting married...his ex had his kid and lied to him about it all through...me and him were raising my little brothers chris and danny and i was really willing to raise his baby girl...tiffiny lee... shes beautiful and tony suggested that i leave him cuz was too young to grow up that quick to see the world and find out who i am. well since what he said to i had to think about it and it tooke me 3 weeks to relize hes right my therepist told me he was right and i was in denial ... i broke up with him and then a week later thought i was making a huge mistake but by that time no one knew where he and tiffany and his lil sister amy had gone to...he just up and disapered... ok so 2 weeks later i was depressed and moved into my bestfriend rogers house with my brothers... roger isa doll and had this friend(my fiance daniel) that was always coming over helping my brothers get ready for schoola nd stuff and i was in this big depression he fed me and made me bathe and he took care of me while everything in my life was going down hill... 2 weeks later i got up outa my rut cuzz im one of those take charge kinda people...but i really loved jay...so i started working with daniels uncle cuz roger had to go with his baby and his babys momma outa state for awhile so daniel moved in and was helping me out and stuff... so i lived with him and he help me take care of the boys and stuff l;ike that.... one one night the boys went ona school sleepover to be drug free or something like that so i came home from having a bad day at work to a candle light pic nic in the living room and daniel ina tux and roses in his hand...it was the sweetest thing... any ways so i started falling for daniel(being with him) and everything was perfect... my aunt took the boys cuz she thinks i need to be happy just me and daniel and raise out own family in time...so he asked me to marry him i said yeh...i meant yeh... now jay comes back and tells me he cant live with out me...i still have feelings for him...but im in love with daniel...should i keep talking to jay cuz i know he was the best thing for me at that time and i dont know if i could stand loosing him again...or should i stop talking to him alltoigether and concentrate full hearted on my man? please help and sorry this is so long! Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Well, you might not like to hear this, but I think you need to get rid of both of these guys and spend some time on yourself. Take some time off. Don't be in a relationship (or recovering from one) for a little while and see how that works for you. (You say you listened to Tony's advice about 'seeing the world and finding out who you are'. Well, actions speak louder than words. You don't appear to be doing that.) Here's why: Daniel is clearly a rebound. You were in a vulnerable state from your break-up with Jay and he was there. He was in the right place at the right time, that's it. I'm sure he's a very sweet guy and has helped you a lot, but you got engaged way too quickly, especially if your break-up with Jay was that hard on you. You rebounded to the first guy who showed signs that he cared about you because you missed that. Trust me, there will be many guys ahead who will care about you. He isn't the only one out there. If you are questioning what to do about Jay now, you clearly are not ready to get married to Daniel. If you loved Daniel that much, you would tell Jay to take a hike without hesitation, not be questioning which guy is right for you. (Remember, marriage means that you're going to be with Daniel forever. You really don't sound like you're ready to make that commitment.) Take a break from both of them and try to learn more about yourself. You don't need a guy in your life to be happy. (In fact, I've found that most of the time I'm happier without one...hmmmm) You certainly don't need a guy who already has a child with someone else. And you don't need to be getting married yet. Do what you said you were going to do...experience life! I hope this doesn't sound harsh...just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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