winkies Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Guys and Girls, I am in a HUGE fix. I come from a normal Indian family who has never seen inter racial relationship. I met my girl online almost 10 months back. I have even met her when I visited her country and we hit off really good and I am in love with her. She is the perfect person for me I feel because she understands me sooo well. Now, I gathered my balls and told my parents about it and damn, they were super mad on me. They said they cant accept this as its not practical thinking due to cultural differences I really love my parents and I don't like to make them upset and also I dont want to make my girl upset. She also understands my situation for your info Just so you know I make decent to support myself so I don't really depend on my parents. However I provide my parents some support since thats how Indian culture is Another problem is language issue. My parents aren't that good in English so they might not be able to communicate with her that well. She doesnt know our language(yet) so only option here is translation and Oh did i tell you about how much pressure will be there from our close family relatives if they come to know about it? I will be a major ******* in their eyes for doing somethign against my parents will Now I have these 2 options 1) Keep convincing my parents until they give up and let me marry her and I settle in her country(They will definitely not like it as its my parents dream to have a daughter in Law stay with them) 2) Just go against my parents will and marry and settle in her country and keep visiting my parents every now and then I dont want to dump her because i feel that connection and it wont be fair to do it just because of our cultural differences. need your help on this Link to post Share on other sites
lucy_in_disguise Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Are those really your only options? Are you ready to marry her now, and what is yoir reasoning for moving to her country, vs. Her moving to yours? Youve only been dating 10 months, and it sounds like its been a long distance relationship. Maybe you are jumping he gun, thinking of your parents' acceptance so early? I would continue to date while hoping they come around- at least, make it a long engagement. They may change their tune somewhat if they met her in person. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Knowing the countries you live in could help. Growing-up in London England I've known a lot of mixed race couples. If you truly want this to become something permanent you need to take this slow & do a lot of work. If by the first meeting your girlfriend is well versed in the culture, dresses appropriately & has learnt some important phrases in their language it's amazing how hearts can melt! The people I know who took the line "It's my life! My choice!" took a LOT longer to gain family support that those who wooed the family. Many Indian daughter-in-laws don't want the traditional 'live with the inlaws' life anymore. To a lot of Indian families this is huge (I don't know why I'm telling you that!) you want them not only to accept her as your future life partner you need them to support & protect her from the more staunch, concervative members of your community. I've seen families do this beautifully but it's early days yet. How old are you guys? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I'm curious to know how this will work for you, OP. My BF of about a year is from India, though living in the U.S. at the moment. He hasn't told his parents about me yet (white, American), precisely for the reasons you were hesitant to tell your parents about your GF. He wants to stay here permanently, so there will always be some distance, but I wonder when he will take that step, if ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Simple choice: your happiness, or "fulfilling" your culture's & family's expectations. I don't see your family ever accepting her, you being married to her & you having kids with her,because they will see it as you "downgrading". As far as I know most traditional India families are only accepting of interracial marriage is when there is an "upgrade", ie marriage to a wealthy white man. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 So you live in India and she lives in east asia? Are you going to be able to get a job where she is? If not does she make enough to support you? I don't know what country she is in specifically, but some Asian countries don't have a lot of foreigners and an inter racial relationship might not go over any better there. You may want to seriously consider what you are doing though... changing your life completely for her, when you don't even know her that well sounds risky. Link to post Share on other sites
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