Jump to content

How common is it for some to "pretend" to not want to be in a relationship?

hakim

By hakim,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

 Share Followers 0

Recommended Posts

hakim

hakim

Posted
Posted

Personally I tend to do this a lot, mainly to protect myself and not seem so eager and/or desperate.

 

What I'm saying is that I will "pretend" that I'm having a great time being single and that I enjoy not being committed to any relationship. Even though I am actively looking for a relationship. I hope that makes sense.

 

I have indeed come across guys who have the same sort of analogy. I'm not too sure about a female perspective.

 

In one instance I met this girl, we instantly clicked and there was very obvious chemistry involved. We went out drinking and she was wondering how my "love life" was going. I let her know that I was very happy being single and enjoying myself without any attachment and she just went "yeah me too I know exactly what you mean".

 

Soon as we left the bar, she was holding my hand and resting her head on my shoulder lol!

 

Do many people "pretend" or what?

Link to post
Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2

TaraMaiden2

Posted
Posted

No.

Many people genuinely do think that way, and either maintain that attitude throughout - or then meet someone who really presses all their buttons, and with whom they want to steer a new course.

 

Never lie about what you want.

It's a foolish move, and in the end hurts only you.

Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted

Maybe when I was younger, yes.

 

But I realized I was only shooting myself in the foot by pretending I didn't want a relationship, because that would send the wrong message to any guy I was actually interested in.

 

And in the past when guys told me the same thing, I generally stayed away. Deep down, I did want to be in a happy relationship.

 

When I was honest about what I was looking for, I attracted a like-minded man. No games. I knew we were on the same page. It's much less stressful that way.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Celestial-dreamer

Celestial-dreamer

Posted
Posted

I don't pretend. I know that I DON'T want a relationship, and it's serving me fine. I never lead anyone on, I don't dangle myself in front of people, tempting them then saying no. I am always honest and up front that I am NOT looking. I am very happy being single, have been for 10 years near. I do not do casual either.

 

You are just playing with people, your manipulating them. Not a good game plan TBH.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
PegNosePete

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted
I let her know that I was very happy being single and enjoying myself without any attachment and she just went "yeah me too I know exactly what you mean".

 

Soon as we left the bar, she was holding my hand and resting her head on my shoulder lol!

You got lucky. 9/10 that line would have lost you the girl. I would answer that question by looking her in the eyes, smiling and saying "it's going pretty well right now".

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
autumnnight

autumnnight

Posted
Posted

Some people probably do this not to seem desperate or to play hard to get.

 

However, some people really are perfectly content with single life until that one person crosses their path and they connect.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
road

road

Posted
Posted
Maybe when I was younger, yes.

 

But I realized I was only shooting myself in the foot by pretending I didn't want a relationship, because that would send the wrong message to any guy I was actually interested in.

 

And in the past when guys told me the same thing, I generally stayed away. Deep down, I did want to be in a happy relationship.

 

When I was honest about what I was looking for, I attracted a like-minded man. No games. I knew we were on the same page. It's much less stressful that way.

 

I don't pretend. I know that I DON'T want a relationship, and it's serving me fine. I never lead anyone on, I don't dangle myself in front of people, tempting them then saying no. I am always honest and up front that I am NOT looking. I am very happy being single, have been for 10 years near. I do not do casual either.

 

You are just playing with people, your manipulating them. Not a good game plan TBH.

 

 

Two people have figured out life. Best summed up as there is no need to play games. Playing games is another way of lying.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
hakim

hakim

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I don't pretend. I know that I DON'T want a relationship, and it's serving me fine. I never lead anyone on, I don't dangle myself in front of people, tempting them then saying no. I am always honest and up front that I am NOT looking. I am very happy being single, have been for 10 years near. I do not do casual either.

 

You are just playing with people, your manipulating them. Not a good game plan TBH.

 

I think you didn't understand what I meant...

 

I "pretend" that I'm happy being single and whatever because I'm afraid of coming across as desperate and too eager if I say "I'm actively looking for a relationship". How on ****ing earth is that "manipulating"??

Link to post
Share on other sites
Amelie1980

Amelie1980

Posted
Posted

I would interpret it as "I dont want to be in a relationship with you".

 

I would think someone was brushing me off.

Link to post
Share on other sites
katiegrl

katiegrl

Posted
Posted
Personally I tend to do this a lot, mainly to protect myself and not seem so eager and/or desperate.

 

What I'm saying is that I will "pretend" that I'm having a great time being single and that I enjoy not being committed to any relationship. Even though I am actively looking for a relationship. I hope that makes sense.

 

I have indeed come across guys who have the same sort of analogy. I'm not too sure about a female perspective.

 

In one instance I met this girl, we instantly clicked and there was very obvious chemistry involved. We went out drinking and she was wondering how my "love life" was going.

 

 

I let her know that I was very happy being single and enjoying myself without any attachment and she just went "yeah me too I know exactly what you mean".

 

Soon as we left the bar, she was holding my hand and resting her head on my shoulder lol!

 

Do many people "pretend" or what?

 

 

So you're both liars! haha

 

 

I admit I have done it. When I met my current, I told him I was happy being single and not looking for a relationship, even though deep down I was.

 

 

I don't know why I said it....but hell he seemed to relax a bit and was more open after I said it.

 

 

Ironically, we had sex that night and the next night we went out ..... and soon after that we were in a relationship!

 

 

Go figure....LOL

Link to post
Share on other sites
toolforgrowth

toolforgrowth

Posted
Posted

I was legitimately happy being single. I was single for two years before meeting my GF.Didn't bother me one bit. I went out with friends, had some glorious sexual encounters, my time was my own and my money was my own. What's not to like about that?

 

I just don't base my happiness on my relationship status.

Link to post
Share on other sites
carhill

carhill

Posted
Posted

The difference with pretend is one knows they're lying to themselves. It's a feeling. When it's real, it's an amazing calm. Personally, if not for being married, I'd never have found that calm. I'd still be lying to myself.

 

I don't think it's that common to 'pretend', at least long term. Short term, sure. We all go through phases in life.

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 0
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...