Former super faithful "Cafeteria Catholic," but now, not so much.

[D3N1S3]

Born & raised Roman Catholic. Went to a private, Catholic, all-girls school in a fairly conservative developing country. Got really into my religion in 7th grade up until I graduated high school - went on a lot of retreats, led youth groups, prayed every night, etc etc. Now I'm in college and I've been further away from my religion than ever. I don't go to mass, I don't say my prayers. I still send a little "thank you" up there whenever someone great happens, and I do think I am a person with good intentions.

 

It's not that I don't BELIEVE of God's existence - I just can't seem to bring myself to say my prayers or go to church or feel that fire of inspiration whenever that right Bible verse comes my way. A cousin of mine (my age) said that maybe it's a phase - she wasn't very religious before, but now she's getting into it.

 

I also can't seem to agree with a lot of things the Bible is said to condemn - no to LGBTQ, no to abortion, etc. I'm totally convinced that I'm a "cafeteria Catholic." I feel bad about it... I definitely believe there is a higher being out there, that there is SOMETHING MORE than what we have on Earth, but I don't want to go as far as saying that it's NOT God Our Father.

 

I don't really know what I need to hear right now, or what I need to figure out right now. I don't know about converting to another religion, or saying I'm agnostic, or what. I don't know. I would just like to hear about your experiences and how you handled things?

[WhatYouWantToHear]

I do think I am a person with good intentions

 

So, then what's the problem? How come a label needs to be on it for it to feel at peace with yourself?

[pureinheart]

I was raised Catholic also. I did serve the Lord, although there was something missing. I began to search other religions and still there was something missing. Then I met a non denomination Christian and God used her to lead me to the Lord.

 

Have you ever accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Do you believe He died on the cross for your sins?

 

If not, and if you want I'd like to lead you to the sinners prayer:

 

The Sinner's Prayer

[BC1980]

OP, we are constantly evolving as humans, and our faith is no different. Your faith will evolve during the course of your life, and that is completely normal. Your life experiences heavily color your beliefs, and college is a prime time for your faith to evolve. You are going through many new experiences and meeting many new people. My advice is to embrace all of it, and allow your faith to evolve at its own speed.

 

I went to a Baptist church until I was about 13, and I like to say I am still recovering After that, I joined the Methodist church and had a wonderful experience there. In college, I became agnostic for a time and stopped going to church for many years. Like you, I was very confused about the church's stance on social issues (abortion, LGBT community, women). I was also uncertain of my belief in God. I found my way back to the Methodist church about 5 years ago, and I still question God's existence. It's normal. It's okay. I do identify as a Christian, but I'm usually at odds with their stances on social issues. I've made peace with that fact. I'm sure my faith will continue to evolve as my life continues, and I embrace that fact. I love to ready books about Christian apologetics when I have the time.

 

One thing that changed me was that my first BF was Jewish. We weren't serious, and it was a puppy love type of thing. But he opened my eyes to an entirely different belief system. I studied Judaism quite a bit at that time, and I'm thankful for that experience.

 

My best advice is to embrace the ride. If you want to be a religious person (and that is your choice alone), your path will be confusing at times. Embrace change. Always question. Faith is not static. It changes with the world around it, and it changes with your life experiences. It's difficult to fine anyone that you agree with completely. Listen to others, and be slow to judge anyone else for their opinions. Chances are, they are struggling just like you. Struggling to make sense of this life and how their belief system fits into it. We're all coming from a different point of view and different life experiences.

 

If you like to read, here's a book recommendation: "Faith Unraveled" by Rachel Held Evans.

[Robert Z]

I don't really know what I need to hear right now, or what I need to figure out right now. I don't know about converting to another religion, or saying I'm agnostic, or what. I don't know. I would just like to hear about your experiences and how you handled things?

 

 

We have very similar backgrounds. One thing that I learned along the way is, it is fruitless to base your spiritual beliefs on logic because all logic eventually demands proof, and there is none no matter what you believe. I have seen people trapped for a lifetime in pursuit of proof that can never be found. These are often the men who argue most voraciously about "the truth". What they are really doing is trying to prove to themselves what they must take on faith. And you can spend a lifetime pounding a bible that way! So just decide what makes sense or feels right for you and be happy with that.

 

 

Nobody has a satisfactory answer.

Edited August 29, 2015 by Robert Z

[TheFinalWord]

Born & raised Roman Catholic. Went to a private, Catholic, all-girls school in a fairly conservative developing country. Got really into my religion in 7th grade up until I graduated high school - went on a lot of retreats, led youth groups, prayed every night, etc etc. Now I'm in college and I've been further away from my religion than ever. I don't go to mass, I don't say my prayers. I still send a little "thank you" up there whenever someone great happens, and I do think I am a person with good intentions.

 

It's not that I don't BELIEVE of God's existence - I just can't seem to bring myself to say my prayers or go to church or feel that fire of inspiration whenever that right Bible verse comes my way. A cousin of mine (my age) said that maybe it's a phase - she wasn't very religious before, but now she's getting into it.

 

I also can't seem to agree with a lot of things the Bible is said to condemn - no to LGBTQ, no to abortion, etc. I'm totally convinced that I'm a "cafeteria Catholic." I feel bad about it... I definitely believe there is a higher being out there, that there is SOMETHING MORE than what we have on Earth, but I don't want to go as far as saying that it's NOT God Our Father.

 

I don't really know what I need to hear right now, or what I need to figure out right now. I don't know about converting to another religion, or saying I'm agnostic, or what. I don't know. I would just like to hear about your experiences and how you handled things?

 

Watch

. Probably my favorite catholic teacher.

[todreaminblue]

i think you have to feel it in your heart what's right for you to believe in....and silence your thinking and the voices of those around you who tell you what to believe in or what you should believe in..whats right or wrong...is not up to anyone else to say to you.......the doubts the confusion from other voices from your own brain ...that has been brought up with bias..... when its your heart that truly knows truth..that still small voice of reason that exists not in what you know or have been told ...but what you feel.....

the bible has many interpretations....there are many religions and we are just one small part of a trillion people.......with a trillion different ways of life..your personal journey with faith is yours alone...yours to decide...to me its the only decision....what you hear in your heart will be sent not from intellectual knowledge....but from some where and from a entity bigger and more knowledgeable than every book on the planet........... one day i will understand....as will you....until then you journey.......with that still small voice in your heart that promises you peace and understanding one day..........and know when you hear it...it is truth.......

 

 

i havent been to my church for a couple of weeks and one way how i know my journey is on a sure true path........is i miss the guidance and the light that my path had when i attend church......my steps are more sure through week to week....i find happiness there......i feel safe there not misguided...but guided sure.........and i feel truth..my faith is buoyed and strengthened ....my actual voice ...is not silenced or unheard at church.......i feel among family even with the grumps.....they are like a big extended family at xmas time sitting around the table arguing who gets the turkey leg...and sometimes no one argues....its peaceful and light and happy....with awesome hymns.....either way its still a community ....a family.......................i dont feel dragged down...and again this is my own journey i share...my life hasnt got any easier.....i still get sad mad and glad.....i still struggle.....you will find your path that is true to you life wont change much...but the voice in your heart will be more discernable and the choices you make.....will have purpose to your spirit.....all of them good or bad.......mean something..just like you are feeling torn means something you are being guided.............i send prayers up for you......best wishes....deb

[LookAtThisPOst]

I was raised Catholic also. I did serve the Lord, although there was something missing. I began to search other religions and still there was something missing. Then I met a non denomination Christian and God used her to lead me to the Lord.

 

Have you ever accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Do you believe He died on the cross for your sins?

 

If not, and if you want I'd like to lead you to the sinners prayer:

 

The Sinner's Prayer

 

I grew up Catholic, but tend to go to social events with those that are non-denom.

 

You say this as if Catholics never believed that Christ died for our sins. Looks like you're a protestant convert. Not being accusatory, just sayin'.

 

Saying the "sinners prayer" would be quiet redundant as Catholics acknowledge that we are sinners.

 

Though it's not uncommon for those to jump from church to church, from religion to religion to attempt to find whatever's missing in their lives. Some have even converted from protestant to Catholics (reverse order.)

[FleshNBones]

OP, we are constantly evolving as humans, and our faith is no different.

Poor choice of words. Are you going to sprout some wings, or grow some gills? How about a nice solid carapace? The humans, as you like to call them, are no different today than they were ten thousand years ago.

Your faith will evolve during the course of your life, and that is completely normal. Your life experiences heavily color your beliefs, and college is a prime time for your faith to evolve. You are going through many new experiences and meeting many new people. My advice is to embrace all of it, and allow your faith to evolve at its own speed.

The "college experience" is a joke. College is not a place for ideas, but rather, a place for indoctrination. Everything is permissible but not everything is good.

Like you, I was very confused about the church's stance on social issues (abortion, LGBT community, women).

Abortion, like the Milgram experiment, is much easier to do when they aren't perceived as being present or human. How many people would blindly push the button? Obviously, a whole lot.

The whole LGBT thing is a charade. How can Don Quixote don armor and battle without a quest? For the suckers, I think the goal is to live out some kind chivalrous fictional past. For the opportunists, it is an opportunity to hold communities hostage, and demand ransoms (aka restitution). For Catholics, it is a diversion from, and hindrance to God.

In regard to women, I think the Catholic Church should hold its ground. I am concerned the change would lead to an avalanche of change which would inevitably destroy the Catholic Church. That may be what the radicals have in mind for the church.

My best advice is to embrace the ride. If you want to be a religious person (and that is your choice alone), your path will be confusing at times. Embrace change. Always question. Faith is not static. It changes with the world around it, and it changes with your life experiences.

I don't think God changes or evolves.

You are either religious or you are not. God is not an accessory or a fashionable pastime.

Beware of false prophets.

It's difficult to fine anyone that you agree with completely. Listen to others, and be slow to judge anyone else for their opinions. Chances are, they are struggling just like you. Struggling to make sense of this life and how their belief system fits into it. We're all coming from a different point of view and different life experiences.

I reject the idea that there is no objective truth. I reject the idea that we are in a collective cease fire.

 

There is a word for the acceptance that there is an indifferent objective reality outside of themselves which places constraints, and requirements on them. I believe that word is maturity.

[TheFinalWord]

The "college experience" is a joke. College is not a place for ideas, but rather, a place for indoctrination. Everything is permissible but not everything is good.

 

That is a misapplication of that principle. Paul was talking about whether to engage in one behavior or another (is behavior x a sin). Acquiring a college education is not a sin. Paul was highly educated and it was his education as a Pharisee that allowed him to demonstrate the authenticity of Jesus as Messiah.

[Tayla]

Sounds like you have an awareness , consider it a time that may even last your life time to come to terms with your relationship on a spiritual level.

 

Re-evaluate if you must.

[FleshNBones]

That is a misapplication of that principle. Paul was talking about whether to engage in one behavior or another (is behavior x a sin). Acquiring a college education is not a sin. Paul was highly educated and it was his education as a Pharisee that allowed him to demonstrate the authenticity of Jesus as Messiah.

I differentiate between college experience and college education. Don't stop learning once you are done with formal education. I see the college experience as partying, and experimentation. As far as experimentation goes, it seems like paganism is one of those things being peddled, along with other forms of nonsense.

[TheFinalWord]

I differentiate between college experience and college education. Don't stop learning once you are done with formal education. I see the college experience as partying, and experimentation. As far as experimentation goes, it seems like paganism is one of those things being peddled, along with other forms of nonsense.

 

I agree, learning is a life-long endeavor. College should train students to come more critical thinkers and thus enhance their life-long learning capacity. There are many ways to get involved in college experience besides partying. I don't know what you mean by paganism. If you mean worldly temptations those are everywhere. But there are positive connections as well. For example, clubs, community activities, community volunteerism, internships, professional organizations, I can go on. Those are all very beneficial in helping students become more cultured, well-rounded, and interested in what is going on in the world around them. Yes, there are negative experiences students can engage in as well. College students are adults so if they are going to make foolish choices they are doing so as adults. Hopefully their parents have provided them with training to make healthy decisions.

[pie2]

I don't really know what I need to hear right now, or what I need to figure out right now. I don't know about converting to another religion, or saying I'm agnostic, or what. I don't know. I would just like to hear about your experiences and how you handled things?

 

You're not alone. College is a time when many people truly evaluate who they are and what they stand for. Don't give up in your explorations; understanding other faiths may help you clearly define what your own beliefs are. Best of luck!

 

The humans, as you like to call them...

 

Humans; a generally accepted term. How do you like to call "them"?

 

Are you going to sprout some wings, or grow some gills? How about a nice solid carapace?

Wouldn't that be devolution? Didn't we already evolve past those "inferior" life forms? We need to "sprout" some ESP, telekinesis, or at least a superior understanding of peace and love.

 

You are either religious or you are not. God is not an accessory or a fashionable pastime.

Yes! I agree, F&B.

 

I reject the idea that there is no objective truth. I reject the idea that we are in a collective cease fire.

 

There is a word for the acceptance that there is an indifferent objective reality outside of themselves which places constraints, and requirements on them. I believe that word is maturity.

I like your idea that belief in an objective truth stems from maturity. I must concur

[BC1980]

Poor choice of words. Are you going to sprout some wings, or grow some gills? How about a nice solid carapace? The humans, as you like to call them, are no different today than they were ten thousand years ago.

 

I wasn't talking about physically evolving. I was talking about evolving spiritually and emotionally. I don't think you understood what I was saying at all. I was making the point that our ideas are constantly evolving over our lifetimes, whether we live in 2015 or lived 2000 years ago.

 

The OP is at a point in her life where she is questioning her faith, which most of us do. She is evolving as a human being.

[BC1980]

I don't think God changes or evolves.

You are either religious or you are not. God is not an accessory or a fashionable pastime.

Beware of false prophets.

I reject the idea that there is no objective truth. I reject the idea that we are in a collective cease fire.

 

I never said that God changes or evolves. I said that our ideas about God change and evolve. As far as objective truth (I'm assuming absolute truth is the same thing), do you think that humans are capable of understanding objective truth? I side more with the idea that there is an objective truth, but we are simply unable to to completely understand that truth.

 

BTW, I wouldn't have a problem with God changing or evolving. I've heard the argument that God decided to send Jesus as the path to salvation because the Jews continued turning against Him. I don't really have an opinion on that matter, but could it be an example of God changing His mind or evolving? Just something to consider.

[pie2]

BTW, I wouldn't have a problem with God changing or evolving. I've heard the argument that God decided to send Jesus as the path to salvation because the Jews continued turning against Him. I don't really have an opinion on that matter, but could it be an example of God changing His mind or evolving? Just something to consider.

 

God's omniscience/omnipotence is a critical part of the Christian faith. An evolving God who changes by gaining something that he didn't have before implies he wasn't (or isn't) omniscient/omnipotent. That doesn't match up with what the bible teaches.

 

Though, the bible does address what some people think of as other "gods". Those gods are entities people look up to, but obviously aren't the Almighty God. I imagine someone could think those types of gods might change or evolve. But the bible clarifies that following those types of gods is a form of idolatry.

[BC1980]

God's omniscience/omnipotence is a critical part of the Christian faith. An evolving God who changes by gaining something that he didn't have before implies he wasn't (or isn't) omniscient/omnipotent. That doesn't match up with what the bible teaches.

 

Though, the bible does address what some people think of as other "gods". Those gods are entities people look up to, but obviously aren't the Almighty God. I imagine someone could think those types of gods might change or evolve. But the bible clarifies that following those types of gods is a form of idolatry.

 

Maybe I should have worded it differently. I was thinking more along the lines of God evolving into different ideas and decisions. Not who God is.

[RoseVille]

Poor choice of words. Are you going to sprout some wings, or grow some gills? How about a nice solid carapace? The humans, as you like to call them, are no different today than they were ten thousand years ago.

The "college experience" is a joke. College is not a place for ideas, but rather, a place for indoctrination. Everything is permissible but not everything is good.

Abortion, like the Milgram experiment, is much easier to do when they aren't perceived as being present or human. How many people would blindly push the button? Obviously, a whole lot.

The whole LGBT thing is a charade. How can Don Quixote don armor and battle without a quest? For the suckers, I think the goal is to live out some kind chivalrous fictional past. For the opportunists, it is an opportunity to hold communities hostage, and demand ransoms (aka restitution). For Catholics, it is a diversion from, and hindrance to God.

In regard to women, I think the Catholic Church should hold its ground. I am concerned the change would lead to an avalanche of change which would inevitably destroy the Catholic Church. That may be what the radicals have in mind for the church.

I don't think God changes or evolves.

You are either religious or you are not. God is not an accessory or a fashionable pastime.

Beware of false prophets.

I reject the idea that there is no objective truth. I reject the idea that we are in a collective cease fire.

 

There is a word for the acceptance that there is an indifferent objective reality outside of themselves which places constraints, and requirements on them. I believe that word is maturity.

 

None of the above dialogue is very Christ-like.

[minimariah]

I am concerned the change would lead to an avalanche of change which would inevitably destroy the Catholic Church.

 

Catholic Church as an institution had already been destroyed - mostly by it's incredible fortune while people starve all around the world & sexual crimes.

 

I don't think God changes or evolves.

 

but religion does change and evolve - take a look at Christianity NOW and 100 years ago --- A LOT has been changed.

 

OP -- i am as same as you... coming from a very religious family but i simply don't feel the "need" i felt for God when i was younger. however (this is probably very selfish of me) - i do turn to God in times of darkness and when i need comfort. i'd suggest you explore your religion - start with a Bible, with other holy testaments and books. read about the religion and about the meaning of prayers and about saints. rediscover your faith again... you'll know where to take it from there.