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What does 'feeling like you are cursed with bad luck' really mean?

h2man

By h2man,
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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h2man

h2man

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I feel like I am constantly having bad luck - being in the wrong place at the wrong time, missing opportunities due to some elaborate unforeseen event, etc. (actually, some of my friends laugh about my 'bad luck') but I know that someone cannot be 'cursed' with bad luck, yet that is truly what I am beginning to believe and it is preventing me from taking action to do things sometimes because I actually really believe it doesn't matter what I do, as there is a 'spirit' or something who will make sure it doesn't work anyway... I know this sounds crazy, but what I am trying to figure out is - what is this a symptom of? I know it might be depression, but I have a feeling something else is going on and I can't figure out what...

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PogoStick

PogoStick

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I like the concept that people create their own luck, good or bad. Was it luck when Michael Jordan would toss the ball backwards over his head and it would go in the basket? What about the 20,000 hours of practice he put in before that day ever came?

 

Is it bad luck if you are struck by lightning, or was it just a bad idea to be out during a thunderstorm?

 

Of course, unpredictable events occur and that's just life. You have to deal with it, or not. But if you're only noticing the bad events then you have "confirmation bias" or a perception bias. You only take notice of the things which fit into your story, and ignore the others.

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spiderowl

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I think people can have different dynamics within them, e.g. wanting something and yet not wanting it at the same time. If we partly create our own luck by noticing things, having the right attitude, being in the right place, interpreting things positively, then if part of you is sabotaging yourself that would not help.

 

It may help to dig down deep and question all your assumptions about life and the things that have affected you. List events that mean something to you and write down what you felt was the case then. Then look at your responses and see if you have any doom-laden thoughts and re-write those bits with the opposite (or at least a more positive interpretation). It might help you to see where you are inadvertently enabling bad luck. Ideally, you would go to see a therapist, maybe CBT or the More to Life seminars, to be able to see what is happening better.

 

Somewhere in the past someone told you you were unlucky or you started telling yourself. Just because you are thinking in these terms now does not mean it only happened recently. People can say things casually and stupidly that can affect children for life, e.g. "You'll see how hard life is when you get to our age." No immediate impact but later in life this kind of 'programming' can start to infiltrate a person's life.

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newmoon

newmoon

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our family always jokes that my brother was born with a black cloud following him because nothing in his life seems to go right, ever. it truly is like he's cursed in some way. if it's a lifelong thing for you that might be different than if you're just feeling this way recently. it could be depression, or perhaps linked to recent events that have happened to you. break-up, job loss, death, etc.? maybe something happened in the past several months to get you thinking this way? negative thoughts truly impact us, so the sooner you can stop feeling unlucky the sooner things will change. positive thoughts...

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h2man

h2man

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our family always jokes that my brother was born with a black cloud following him because nothing in his life seems to go right, ever. it truly is like he's cursed in some way. if it's a lifelong thing for you that might be different than if you're just feeling this way recently. it could be depression, or perhaps linked to recent events that have happened to you. break-up, job loss, death, etc.? maybe something happened in the past several months to get you thinking this way? negative thoughts truly impact us, so the sooner you can stop feeling unlucky the sooner things will change. positive thoughts...

 

Thanks, everyone :) Yes, NewMoon - it has been pretty much life-long (or at least as long as I can remember making major decisions for myself, so since I was about 15?) How did it work out for your brother? :)

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newmoon

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Thanks, everyone :) Yes, NewMoon - it has been pretty much life-long (or at least as long as I can remember making major decisions for myself, so since I was about 15?) How did it work out for your brother? :)

 

he's on meds for depression and sees a therapist :o and the "bad luck" never eased... he still suffers from what most 'normal' people would consider unlucky events. however... his biggest dream was to have a family (gf and kids) and so he got determined to get that one thing for himself, and his life (in his own view anyway) has improved. we still see him as unlucky, but he sees himself as lucky because he got what he was wanting. so.. perhaps there is something you are longing for and once that is achieved you'll start to feel better?

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h2man

h2man

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he's on meds for depression and sees a therapist :o and the "bad luck" never eased... he still suffers from what most 'normal' people would consider unlucky events. however... his biggest dream was to have a family (gf and kids) and so he got determined to get that one thing for himself, and his life (in his own view anyway) has improved. we still see him as unlucky, but he sees himself as lucky because he got what he was wanting. so.. perhaps there is something you are longing for and once that is achieved you'll start to feel better?

 

That's great! :) I actually have always felt that my 'bad luck' started when my first love slept with someone else instead of me (we were both virgins) and that I have always be 'longing' for something I will never be able to have (our first time together again) which is sad, cause I will never be able to achieve that, but what you say makes a lot of sense.. Thank you very much for sharing! :)

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Stage5Clinger

Stage5Clinger

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I feel very unlucky as well, but I'm mostly just so distracted thinking about a girl that I don't pay attention to my real life.

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h2man

h2man

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I'm curious too... I also have a feeling it is because I think that once I am 'grateful' for something, it will be taken away from me, or disappear, so in a sense, I am hesitant to acknowledge and appreciate the good luck I do have, as I think that will make it disappear (which it does often ;)

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