1sweetpea Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) She's a girl. Her name is marie. I've been dating this dude since june. Everytime we talk he's like you gotta meet marie! You guys are so similar! She will like you. Every. DATE. he talks about her. They talk all the time . What makes me so date worthy and her a best friend. On our first date. "my friend marie would like this", "my friend marie would love you. you guys are so alike" Apparently she wants to meet me too. She couldnt hang out one day and he got all sad and upset. He says they are like brother/sister. Okay thats fine until a few weeks ago i'm like... "hey were you ever interested in her?" he's like ...."yeah, but i could tell from 1 week of hanging out it was gonna just be friends" So i asked if he was attracted to her. He said back then yes. How they talked about dating but knew it wouldn't work out. Once we had a fight and he stopped replying and hes like "i had to cool down. i was only talking to marie in that time." No girl wants to feel like she’s competition with another…no matter how bro/sis your relationship is. He talks about her so much during our dates like he's in love. He brings her up a lot, and i feel insecure about the fact he found her attractive. I don't know how that works, being attracted then all of a sudden bro/sis . She’s on his mind it seems like more than me. Anytime i say something about it he defends her then starts a fight about something unrelated. Edited August 27, 2015 by 1sweetpea Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I'd gently call him out. Point out to him that he talks about her all the time & it makes you feel like second fiddle. Have you met her? Is this really unrequited love on his part? It seems to me that he might not be emotionally available to date you because he already gave her his heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1sweetpea Posted August 27, 2015 Author Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) I'd gently call him out. Point out to him that he talks about her all the time & it makes you feel like second fiddle. Have you met her? Is this really unrequited love on his part? It seems to me that he might not be emotionally available to date you because he already gave her his heart. I haven't met her. The day i was supposed to i couldnt make it. I have brought it up and he says he knows "100% sure that he doesn't want to be with her". Just insecure i guess. He says he talks to her when he's in town, but when he goes to school they don't speak. Well thats the case now. Before he told me that she was the only friend from our hometown he talks to. He says he talks to her about "how he feels about me" and that shes his "go to" for female advice. Recently she said she was into someone at work and going to go after him. He told me he was happy for her and knew she liked this guy. Edited August 27, 2015 by 1sweetpea Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 Well, sometimes people become too attached to friends, and the problem is that as your romantic partner, you should be his priority, and i think this is the part that is really bothering you - which of you is more important too him. Yes you do have a right to be bothered by this, i have been with women who had friends that way, even girlfriends, and i did not feel like i was as important, and it is not a good feeling. So you can either break it of or try using the old saying "if you carn't beat em, join em" In other words, make a big effort to become friends with Marie - it could easily turn out fantastic for everyone, you never know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1sweetpea Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 (edited) Well, sometimes people become too attached to friends, and the problem is that as your romantic partner, you should be his priority, and i think this is the part that is really bothering you - which of you is more important too him. Yes you do have a right to be bothered by this, i have been with women who had friends that way, even girlfriends, and i did not feel like i was as important, and it is not a good feeling. So you can either break it of or try using the old saying "if you carn't beat em, join em" In other words, make a big effort to become friends with Marie - it could easily turn out fantastic for everyone, you never know? i agree. the only problem is were long distance now. so i wont be able to meet her until were back in our hometowns. Maybe in a year. He had a bbq once with all his friends and she was there. I didn't end up going and i heard shes like " Why isnt she coming? I'm only here to meet her!" So i guess thats a nice thing lol Edited August 29, 2015 by 1sweetpea Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 Give Marie a chance. If she fails you, then you can make noise about him putting some slack on that line. But you've been seeing him for 8 weeks.. and he's known her for how long? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 1sweetpea Posted August 29, 2015 Author Share Posted August 29, 2015 Give Marie a chance. If she fails you, then you can make noise about him putting some slack on that line. But you've been seeing him for 8 weeks.. and he's known her for how long? about 2 years Link to post Share on other sites
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