botelhop07 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 ok first of all i need help with something...there is a girl that i work with that is beautiful and i am very interseted in her. i really want to ask her out and make a move on her but i dont want to make the wrong move before i know if she is interested in me or likes me. i have only known her for a few weeks but she tells me that we should hang out more than we do. she tells me that we dont see eachother enough eventhough we work together...i am very confused...she sometimes ignores me or doesnt talk to me alot. i recently was on a trip away from home and she told me that she was real glad and excited to know that i am back. i guess i am getting mixed signals or interpretations. i am confused and could really use some help in knowing if she likes me before i ask her out or make a move...somebody please help??????? Link to post Share on other sites
agnf666 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Since she has said "we should hang out more than we do"... and "she told me that she was real glad and excited to know that i am back"... Those were to hints. She is trying to let you know that she is interested in spending more time with you and she cares about you and missed you when you where away. I would make a move really soon... let's say this week sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 You are really not giving enough information to make a judgement. We need to know what she says, does and acts around you. Just because she wants to hang out doesn't mean she's interested. She might just like your company for friendship or to make the day pass. Be more specific... Link to post Share on other sites
botelhop07 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 well like i said, we just met a few weeks ago...but she acts different around me at different times. its hard to tell, she doesnt avoid me or anything, but she always asks what i am doing on the weekend! if this helped, i would like to know what i should say to her to make a move??? Link to post Share on other sites
Baz Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 I think you are a little like me, when you get a good signal you take it into heart thinking & feeling it's a good thing, when something may not necesarrily be a good signal, you take that into heart aswell, analyse things & try work it out, though in the end even when things may seem obvious you still dont know incase you are wrong or take it wrong, THAT is my biggest problem (see post how do you tell & what are the signals from me). I think personally you need to try find a way round of getting some more clues & signals, unless you feel confiident enough to ask her on the risk now? If you want to be more certain, look for more signals, though try not to get downhearted when she dont give you a signal everytime she see's you (I am the same & do that often about this new girl i like (my problem is i find it very difficult to GET the chance to talk to her)), but if you are like me, even when they are right underneath your nose, you still have some sort of doubt, incase you are wrong, wishful thinking or thinking too much into it? (that is my way of thinking). Maybe thats just me, i worry about myself & i think i lose out on lots of opportunitys, however, i wouldnt want you to make that mistake or lsoe out (& you probably dont yourself as if you havein the past you are always determined not to let this one be another one to slip). Tell me if I'm right.. however i wish you the UPMOST best of luck !!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Baz Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 Just want to add aswell, which i feel is another one of my faults, girls probably dont always give signals on EVERY opportunity, when they may have done them before, so if at one point you dont get a signal from her, dont think or question why when you've had previous signals. I know how it is as it's funny i can give advice to other people yet not take my own or have that apply to me, easy for me to give it, hard for me to take it, even if i think i might be right what im saying here. aaah well, good luck again fella. Link to post Share on other sites
justagirl1121 Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 this is MY post people, wow, EXACTLY how I feel!!!!!! As for making the move on the girl, I am interested in this guy i worked with. (You may have seen my other posts). We no longer work together so now I'm in a new predictiment. Before, we saw each other every day, and because we worked in cubicals taking inbound calls, we did get a chance to talk a lot and I wish HE would make a move!!!!!! I think we're in reversed roles you and I. There are a crap load of signals from him, I think, but like Baz said, I analyze EVERYTHING. Esp all the reasons he probably DOESNT like me. It's hard to be objective when you're in the situation. It's always sucky to be the one to have to make the move. In my case, I think he's more outgoing and willing to make the move than I am. I'm trying to get him to go out to the bar with my group, just as a bud, so as not to make it awkward or get rejected if he doesn't go. But it's almost enough for the time being that he comes. He should get an idea, esp when I ask him a few times... If you are old enough and you go to hang outs with your friends, trying asking her if she wants to meet u there. Ask a few ppl at work or have her invite one of her own friends, that way you still get to see her, and she might not feel too uncomfortable, or feel like she should reject you if she only wants to be friends. There's a chance there for growth then, and to see you outside of work. I think if she said you two should hang out more, she prob means it. I am very shy around feelings and things, i guess i dont want the person to know i like them and have them feel weird like 'ooh she likes me, why would she think i like HER?' i guess i too have made comments like 'we should all hang out together' so i would definitely make plans to do stuff with her even if right from the start you dont just ask her out, but i know ppl do do that, and take the risk. i dont know how bold you are. seems like there's some sort of interest. even if it werent attraction yet, doesnt mean it cant happen once she gets to hang out with you more! Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 16, 2005 Share Posted June 16, 2005 By what you have said I don't see any real signals that she is interested. All the things you have said could apply to someone who is a friend or an aquaintance. Does she ask questions about you? Does she want to meet you somewhere after work? Does she give you any eye contact? Does she flirt with you and is there any sexual talk between the two of you? If she hasn't done any of these things then I would say you are a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
justagirl1121 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 you mentioned something interesting...the sexual talk thing. my crush and i have sort of had conversations about that, or he's made comments. like about that and marriage and whether you should live with someone and a good age for that, etc...just random discussions, i never thought about it, but i guess would could on some level be trying to figure out what the other person wants and if we both want kind of the same thing. ???? prob unlikely in my case. no one ever likes me, i've never dated anyone before, but i want to date him! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 She could be just a very friend outgoing beautiful woman who makes people feel warm and special. The way to find out if YOU are special moreso than a friend is to ASK her out on a specific date....If she balks or says she is busy or is not sure ...after a few days of planning her days...then it sounds like she is in avoidance and does not want to persue going out with you other than a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Originally posted by justagirl1121 you mentioned something interesting...the sexual talk thing. my crush and i have sort of had conversations about that, or he's made comments. like about that and marriage and whether you should live with someone and a good age for that, etc...just random discussions, i never thought about it, but i guess would could on some level be trying to figure out what the other person wants and if we both want kind of the same thing. ???? prob unlikely in my case. no one ever likes me, i've never dated anyone before, but i want to date him! You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. There is someone for you out there. Maybe it is a special person who is everything you are looking for or maybe you need to gain some confidence and decide who you want to date. You must be assertive if you want to achieve anything. You have to think that the person you want will be really lucjy to have you and you will be lucky as well. You need to take a chance or you will be an unhappy person. Rejection isn't as hard if you don't take it personally. If they reject you just think that they are missing out on a beautiful wonderful person. If you want to date this guy then show him what a special person you are and make him want to be with you. Be a little sexy around him and see how he responds. Let yourself go and you may just get what you want. Peace... Link to post Share on other sites
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