nellbell86 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 If there are any dumpers out there, I have a couple of questions for you: - How long did it take you to fully 'process' the break up after it had happened? - When the dumpee has begged/pleaded or continued contact with you, how did it make you feel toward them? - When/if NC started from the dumpee, how then did it make you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
Tobin Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 About a week, annoyed, relieved. Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted August 28, 2015 Share Posted August 28, 2015 When I broke up with a girl I typically felt a feeling of relief to be honest. "Whew that's over with" just in the sense that it's always uncomfortable to break up with someone and especially in person. Tears, back and forth... It's just not easy to do so relief is how I felt right after. If a girl I dumped started reaching out to me and trying to talk after I ended it it made me lose respect for her. "it's over, stop trying to make it work" thoughts. Even if I thought highly of the girl, if she contacted me after the break up id think less of her as crappy as that sounds. It also would make me think "arite well now I know I can have her back whenever I want". Reaching out makes it seem like you're waiting for us to change our mind so the majority of girls that did this would end up getting a booty call text down the line because I knew they would think if they just come see me that we can work things out and get back together. I know, I was an ******* but I'm telling you the blunt truth. If the dumpee goes no contact what would I think? I wouldn't think anything at all. Because I wasn't monitoring her activity, wasn't thinking about texting her, wasn't wondering why she hasn't texted me. I broke up with her so I expect no contact from her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluefeather Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 I am currently a dumpee but from a previous relationship as a dumper, I will answer these: How long did it take you to fully 'process' the break up after it had happened? - I can't exactly answer that because the girl kept dragging me back into her world and trying to get back with me in a desperate looking way, which kept prolonging her pain and kept me from feeling any want for her back. She never stopped trying to contact me even when I literally told her, "stop contacting me, this is feeling like harassment!" So after she pushed on me so much, processing it was very easy. I wanted to run away because she became obsessive and stalker-ish and was starting to creep me out. When the dumpee has begged/pleaded or continued contact with you, how did it make you feel toward them? - Same answer as above. It turned from begging to angrily yelling at me. I had to completely ignore this person because I was becoming afraid of her obsessiveness. So it made me afraid. When/if NC started from the dumpee, how then did it make you feel? - Very relieved to not have to be around someone sucking my energy away. I will add a fourth question that you might be looking for: What could have been done differently to make you THINK about a slight possibility of seeing something positive from the last communication? -If she had been more solemn and calm, and said something like, "I understand that you want me out of your life. I am sorry that I got so emotional, I just care about you so much. I will leave you alone now. Please understand that I love you with all of my heart. I will miss you. Please don't forget me. Goodbye." Wow, I should have taken my own advice I just realized I did to this other girl what the dumpee did to me in the other relationship. I got so emotional and freaked out on her and drove her further away. this sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
Happines Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Well it very much depends why dumper dunped the other person... I broke up with my ex boyf of two years because he was constantly hurting me and being with him I was so lonely...breaking up with him was the hardest thing I ever did and it hit me badly before I even left but I just knew I could not continue any longer... Now in regards to bagging and etc yes it's annoying if the dumpee is simply texting or saying oh I love u and I miss u and I will do all it takes because it sort of messes with your head and makes u angry as u kind of start thinking that oh my am I not worth his time and effort to actually do something about it... I kind of hoped that the breakup will give us time to think about relationship and to give him time to realise what I mean to him...however when I look back now I am happy I left and happy he actually never put any real effort except talking which just made me realise that I made right choice If u been dumped first work on yourself and then see if you actually want to make the relationship work and put actual effort...but all depends why u been dumped Link to post Share on other sites
Padfoot Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 If there are any dumpers out there, I have a couple of questions for you: - How long did it take you to fully 'process' the break up after it had happened? - When the dumpee has begged/pleaded or continued contact with you, how did it make you feel toward them? - When/if NC started from the dumpee, how then did it make you feel? -8 Months -Sad -Even more sad Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If there are any dumpers out there, I have a couple of questions for you: - How long did it take you to fully 'process' the break up after it had happened? - When the dumpee has begged/pleaded or continued contact with you, how did it make you feel toward them? - When/if NC started from the dumpee, how then did it make you feel? Well, "Dumped" is a harsh term...I broke up with my past 5 relationships for 5 totally different reasons 1. "Process?" do you mean "get over?" About 1-6 months 2. Only one begged/pleaded, and it didn't change the way I felt about them, but made me feel crap. I had to initiate NC with one as she just kept chatting like we was bestest best friends. 3. It didn't...I started it when necessary Link to post Share on other sites
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