Married + Baby boy but going to hookers Weekly! [updated 2017]

[Cherryz]

Ps: and planning your days is for sure a good thing to do.

[dreamingoftigers]

There's also SMART Recovery. (Google it)

 

But in the meantime you are risking and abusing your spouse with your behaviour and NOTHING has changed in a year. Plus, you are still trying to "plan" until your next indulgence. All that does is get those pathways 'kinda use' to not having your fix, then you hit the dopamine button again. It makes the wiring stronger, not weaker and the activity more ingrained.

 

Hence, you need serious help.

 

Because you CLEARLY are not doing on your own.

[linqer]

There's also SMART Recovery. (Google it)

 

But in the meantime you are risking and abusing your spouse with your behaviour and NOTHING has changed in a year. Plus, you are still trying to "plan" until your next indulgence. All that does is get those pathways 'kinda use' to not having your fix, then you hit the dopamine button again. It makes the wiring stronger, not weaker and the activity more ingrained.

 

Hence, you need serious help.

 

Because you CLEARLY are not doing on your own.

 

 

 

From the prespective many drug addcitions need to increase the drug usage as times goes by, and I don't visit hookers than 1 time a week, same as last year.

 

I even watch porn less than last year..

 

So from this prespective

 

NOTHING has change in 1 year is also good thing,

 

 

This addiction took long time to create, I didn't create it overnight,

Same as the recovery from it, most chances it will not be overnight,

 

Thats what changed, I don't expect to overcome it overnight,

I don't search for the magic solution that will solve it overnight,

 

Instead I am looking to reduce doses gradually,

In my view, I am doing it from 2 reasons,

1. I am board, and not have something that exicte me as much as sex with hookers

2. I am regualr to it

 

so break this bad habbit I need to

1. Find something that exicte me in life / reduce the excitment from hookers

2. Break the habbit (120 days without it in a raw)/ Form new habbit instead

 

I have different plan this time.

 

I will start with finding my passion in different area of lifes & make it week and half between sessions, then two weeks, then three weeks..

until I will break this habbit

 

In my view, If I can't fix that by myself I am not smart enought,

and to be smart is very importand for me, so I try to leverage my character to overcome it.

[ufo8mycat]

From the prespective many drug addcitions need to increase the drug usage as times goes by, and I don't visit hookers than 1 time a week, same as last year.

 

I even watch porn less than last year..

 

So from this prespective

 

NOTHING has change in 1 year is also good thing,

 

 

This addiction took long time to create, I didn't create it overnight,

Same as the recovery from it, most chances it will not be overnight,

 

Thats what changed, I don't expect to overcome it overnight,

I don't search for the magic solution that will solve it overnight,

 

Instead I am looking to reduce doses gradually,

In my view, I am doing it from 2 reasons,

1. I am board, and not have something that exicte me as much as sex with hookers

2. I am regualr to it

 

so break this bad habbit I need to

1. Find something that exicte me in life / reduce the excitment from hookers

2. Break the habbit (120 days without it in a raw)/ Form new habbit instead

 

I have different plan this time.

 

I will start with finding my passion in different area of lifes & make it week and half between sessions, then two weeks, then three weeks..

until I will break this habbit

 

In my view, If I can't fix that by myself I am not smart enought,

and to be smart is very importand for me, so I try to leverage my character to overcome it.

See you again in a year.

 

Nothing will change unless you change something.

 

You need external support. It isn't about smart.

 

Are you happy to be in the same place this time next year? Because you will be unless you seek help.

[ChickiePops]

Calling it an addiction does NOT justify or excuse your cruel behavior towards your wife. You're still cheating. You're still abusing her.

[Mr. Lucky]

Calling it an addiction does NOT justify or excuse your cruel behavior towards your wife.

 

Agreed.

 

Hooker addiction?

 

How convenient...

 

Mr. Lucky

[TunaCat]

Continuing to see hookers is a CHOICE. You are making this choice every single time you go see a hooker.

 

Saying you have a hooker addiction is just your way of not taking responsibility for your choices.

[SaveYourHeart]

Here's a little motivation for you to quit having sex with hookers. If I were your wife and I found out about this whole situation, I would immediately file for divorce, file for and emergency hearing to have sole custody of the child, make sure that on top of child support you would also pay alimony for the rest of my life. Is that what you want? Do you want to lose your kid and be stuck paying child support and alimony for god knows how many years? Quit screwing hookers, the excuses aren't going to protect your rights as a parent. Do the right thing.

[linqer]

Today I was able to overcome difficulty,

 

I got nudes photos in a group of whatsup that made me horny,

 

Immediately I got deep desire to have sex,

 

I was able to overcome this.

[BaileyB]

Please tell your wife. It is disgusting that you put her health and happiness at risk with your behavior. You say that you want this behavior to stop, but you have not taken responsibility for your choices and your behavior. Your wife suffers because of this - my heart breaks for your family. Telling her is the only responsible and respectable thing to do.

 

But, considering that people have told you this before and you continue to defend your behavior and have not changed... I have little belief that you will do the right thing. I hope when your wife finds out she has the means to do what is best for her and leave you.

[Mr. Lucky]

Today I was able to overcome difficulty,

 

I got nudes photos in a group of whatsup that made me horny,

 

Immediately I got deep desire to have sex,

 

I was able to overcome this.

 

Wouldn't deleting these groups and stopping this online activity be an easy fix?

 

You don't see a lot of recovering alcoholics hanging out in bars...

 

Mr. Lucky

[dreamingoftigers]

From the prespective many drug addcitions need to increase the drug usage as times goes by, and I don't visit hookers than 1 time a week, same as last year.

 

Oh wow, a fresh bowl of justification soup.

 

I even watch porn less than last year..

 

So from this prespective

 

NOTHING has change in 1 year is also good thing,

 

Some addictions are progressive, others aren't you retain the dependency, which is still overall unhealthy.

 

Not to mention what a sh*tty sh*tty thing you are doing to your wife.

But I suspect those pangs of guilt are almost long dead.

Addicts are pretty good at ignoring those and shifting blame to others.

 

This addiction took long time to create, I didn't create it overnight,

Same as the recovery from it, most chances it will not be overnight,

 

Thats what changed, I don't expect to overcome it overnight,

I don't search for the magic solution that will solve it overnight,

Okay, sure....fine....

 

Instead I am looking to reduce doses gradually,

Here's where you screw up.

Our brains don't agree with the slow withdrawal in general.

We don't cut back well. It ends of creating a cycle of cravings and then intermittent rewarding which then leads to bingeing.

 

I honestly think you already know this so you get to keep hooked into the cycle with the "oh gosh I tried" mentality.

 

Or the "Oh look I am almost there" mentality.

 

It's BS. And just about everyone knows it.

 

In my view, I am doing it from 2 reasons,

1. I am board, and not have something that exicte me as much as sex with hookers

2. I am regualr to it

 

so break this bad habbit I need to

1. Find something that exicte me in life / reduce the excitment from hookers

2. Break the habbit (120 days without it in a raw)/ Form new habbit instead

 

Actually, you aren't going to find something as exciting because you've wired your brain to get a huge dopamine release from this, and the more you do it, the more you increase those pathways.

 

You have to stop the activity and wait for your brain chemistry to normalize before you can think clearly again. There isn't a magic bullet. Although exercise helps.

 

I honestly think you will go through a moody withdrawal. (If you actually DO ANYTHING).

 

Other things in life becoming exciting when you STOP hooking into the dopamine using hookers. Life will seem a little bleak for a little bit, but then your brain chemistry will balance. No shortcuts, sorry.

 

I have different plan this time.

 

I will start with finding my passion in different area of lifes & make it week and half between sessions, then two weeks, then three weeks..

until I will break this habbit

 

In my view, If I can't fix that by myself I am not smart enought,

and to be smart is very importand for me, so I try to leverage my character to overcome it.

 

Maybe you AREN'T smart enough.

 

But that doesn't mean you should keep putting your family at substantial risk with marital assets to continue.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

Saying you have a hooker addiction is just your way of not taking responsibility for your choices.

 

 

Uh, so is going to church.

 

 

 

Hello There,

 

Its been 1 years since I open this thread,

 

I have been going to hookers for 6 years and decided to stopped with this disease!

 

I was sober for 9 days and went to hooker again

 

Now my challange is to be sober 10 days or more,

 

When I will be able to hit the 120 days this game will be over, and I will be free of this addiction,

 

Best,

Linqer

 

 

This is not a disease - it is your own free will.

 

The reason you haven't stopped is that there have been no significant consequences for you... yet, and each past encounter without getting caught and/or facing consequences further hints to you that you won't face any future consequences of all of the cheating.

 

You'd probably do best to go and see a therapist and admit right away that your goal is to cease to want to see hookers, and then see how the therapist can guide your efforts.

[Popsicle]

Is there such s thing as hookers anonymous?

[ShatteredLady]

Hi. I tried to support & advise you last time you were here. Remember?

 

Will you PLEASE answer this question honestly?.......

 

WHY NOW? Why have you come back to this forum, saying exactly the same thing as last time? What's changed? Why have you stayed away for all this time & why are you back now?

 

Have you been posting on other forums? Trying to find support for this issue elsewhere or have you just been following the same old pattern of searching for the 'perfect' hooker & indulging yourself as always?

 

What do you want? REALLY? What's the point?

[ShatteredLady]

Are you religious? Which one?

[CarrieT]

Is there such s thing as hookers anonymous?

 

In a way, yes. There is Sexaholics Anonymous.

[linqer]

Hi There,

 

First milstone achieved - 10 Days I am clean

 

It was not easy, there was one day that my skin was burning when I was thinking about it,

 

But I have managed to overcome it,

 

My original plan was to clean it gradually,

 

One and Half Week, then two weeks then..

 

But now I will try increase this record as much as I can,

 

I will update how it goes,

 

After I will clean my brain from this addiction (120 day off),

 

I will be able to think more logic, then I will be able to think clear how I want to live my life..

 

Regarding the questios what have changed?

It might sound strange to you but I think I am smarter than last year,

I put alot of effort to develop my logic thinking so maybe this will change the picture..

 

What I am belive?

I don't know if god exist or not, maybe yea maybe not, I personall don't know that I don't know the answer for that.. (don't get offeneded if you believe in something, I am not saying believing in speficic religious is bad choice for me, currently I don't find an anchor to build my belief upon)

[dreamingoftigers]

Good job on 10 days.

 

Get to a CSAT, preferably someone that does EMDR.

 

Usually these things are linked to attachment and/or impulse control.

[linqer]

11 days clean

 

It wasn't easy.. but manage to get it ..

[linqer]

12 days clean

 

Yesterday I had free time I was horny, but still I was able to fight this

[linqer]

13/90 Days clean

 

I Saw today sexy picture in facebook and got trigger to want go to hooker,

 

But manage to overcome it,

 

Now my focus is to understand why it happens and after that it will be to those kind of triggers

 

I think I have 2-3 major triggers to fix in order to get to 90 days mark..

---------------

I still watch porn 2-3 times a week, I have plans to cut it also I will share more details on that later..

[dreamingoftigers]

13/90 Days clean

 

I Saw today sexy picture in facebook and got trigger to want go to hooker,

 

But manage to overcome it,

 

Now my focus is to understand why it happens and after that it will be to those kind of triggers

 

I think I have 2-3 major triggers to fix in order to get to 90 days mark..

---------------

I still watch porn 2-3 times a week, I have plans to cut it also I will share more details on that later..

 

CSAT man, seriously.

 

Have you been tested for STDs yet?

[linqer]

Thanks!

 

Not really, I hope I will have the courage to go after the 90 days are gone..

 

I the mean time I didn't slept with my wife in the last 6 months.. but its like that for years, so nothing special,

 

My current plan finish 90 days, do the test and then start back give romance to my wife..

 

After that the challange will be to ditch porn.

 

So far in my plan there are 4 challanges:

1. Get rid of the hooker tigers

2. Go to test

3. Bring romance again to our relashionship

4. Ditch Porn (will not be easy but I already starting to work on it)

 

In my mind even If I stubmle I will try to get up again and will not give up like before. - And I don't have plans to stumble

 

Every struggle I need to become stronger thanks to him, like today with the sexy photo, Today I know better the enemy I am figthing with, so I have better chances to win.

 

Thanks for your support

[linqer]

14/90 Clean

 

It might looks easy, but I tried multiple times without success,

 

I am going for Gold Medal