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Married + Baby boy but going to hookers Weekly! [updated 2017]

linqer

By linqer,
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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ShatteredLady

ShatteredLady

Posted
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Do you treat hookers in a certain way that you could never treat your wife? Do you treat them with gentle respect?

Do you request services that you wouldn't expect your wife to provide?

 

Your whole attitude to women is very hard for most of us to stomach to be honest. I've tried to support you in the past but you've convinced yourself of so much it's really hard to advise you in any way.

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CarrieT

CarrieT

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The current plan:

After 90 days I will do STD test, then I will start having sex with wife

 

How long has it been since you have had sex with your wife!?!?

 

I'm shocked this has never come up before...

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dreamingoftigers

dreamingoftigers

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People here are so hypocrisy,

 

Don't show support at all, even that I was able to achieve 30 days off,

 

Its looks like they are waiting to me to fall instead of show real support..

 

We have lives.

 

I just got back from a 4 day trip.

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dreamingoftigers

dreamingoftigers

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How long has it been since you have had sex with your wife!?!?

 

I'm shocked this has never come up before...

 

Approx 90% of sexual addicts won't "act out" with their partners.

 

Maybe partners of sexual addicts are left in sexless marriages pining for intimacy.

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linqer

linqer

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Hello there,

 

I am 30 years old plus married to very good women,

 

Plus amazing baby boy

 

Since I was teen -12, 13 years old I am port addict

 

And in the last 6 years going weekly to hookers

 

My wife and almost don't have sex, something like 1 time in a year or two..

 

I decided many times to break those addictions

 

I am also going to therapy

 

I am already 11 days without hookers and port

 

I know this behavior is very risky, and can turn our life to totally nightmare, it's can be life sentence in the best case or even death sentence, that she deserve something better,

And I putting us in major risk for nothing.

 

Why this time is difference?

 

I am going to therapy, I am doing my exercise daily

 

I am dedicate 15 hours a week fighting those addictions

 

Also I am going to be tested soon, and having sex before getting results

 

Why I posting here? To get extra support

 

I am open to be critic by you, but remember this thing I am also fight against it and it's not easy fight but I am sure I will win this time.

 

Winning this habit will mean to me one of my greatest achievements, feeling of control over my life, and be Bigger than life.

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foxgener

foxgener

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Hello there,

 

I am 30 years old plus married to very good women,

 

Plus amazing baby boy

 

Since I was teen -12, 13 years old I am port addict

 

And in the last 6 years going weekly to hookers

 

My wife and almost don't have sex, something like 1 time in a year or two..

 

I decided many times to break those addictions

 

I am also going to therapy

 

I am already 11 days without hookers and port

 

I know this behavior is very risky, and can turn our life to totally nightmare, it's can be life sentence in the best case or even death sentence, that she deserve something better,

And I putting us in major risk for nothing.

 

Why this time is difference?

 

I am going to therapy, I am doing my exercise daily

 

I am dedicate 15 hours a week fighting those addictions

 

Also I am going to be tested soon, and having sex before getting results

 

Why I posting here? To get extra support

 

I am open to be critic by you, but remember this thing I am also fight against it and it's not easy fight but I am sure I will win this time.

 

Winning this habit will mean to me one of my greatest achievements, feeling of control over my life, and be Bigger than life.

 

Does your wife know any of this?

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linqer

linqer

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great question,

 

No she doesn't know.

 

I know telling her will extend my support circle and help me to overcome it and save our lifes, and make our connection stronger

 

In the other hand it will also hurt her so much, and might end up on shaming for me and also potential break up,

 

Currently I choose solve it by without telling her, it might be a big mistake, and might be the right move, I guess its all depend if If I will be able to win the bad addiction,

 

In the end of the day we are not sleeping togther - I think last time was one year back.. so I decide not to sleep with her until I manage to solve it and get tested.

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foxgener

foxgener

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great question,

 

No she doesn't know.

 

I know telling her will extend my support circle and help me to overcome it and save our lifes, and make our connection stronger

 

In the other hand it will also hurt her so much, and might end up on shaming for me and also potential break up,

 

Currently I choose solve it by without telling her, it might be a big mistake, and might be the right move, I guess its all depend if If I will be able to win the bad addiction,

 

In the end of the day we are not sleeping togther - I think last time was one year back.. so I decide not to sleep with her until I manage to solve it and get tested.

 

Telling her will also increase your accountability of going back to your destructive ways.

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foxgener

foxgener

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great question,

 

No she doesn't know.

 

I know telling her will extend my support circle and help me to overcome it and save our lifes, and make our connection stronger

 

In the other hand it will also hurt her so much, and might end up on shaming for me and also potential break up,

 

Currently I choose solve it by without telling her, it might be a big mistake, and might be the right move, I guess its all depend if If I will be able to win the bad addiction,

 

In the end of the day we are not sleeping togther - I think last time was one year back.. so I decide not to sleep with her until I manage to solve it and get tested.

 

Well you have two different problems:

 

 

1) Your hooker/porn addiction issue

 

 

2) Your wife not having sex for you more than once a year is a total disaster and needs to be investigated. That is not normal. Not that I am saying that was the cause of your issue. But it is a real issue. [btw, if you had this addiction since you were a teen, why would you marry a lady who doesn't want to have sex with you more than once a year. Just curious.]

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linqer

linqer

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Why I marry? I think I didn't want to marry at that time..

 

I understand those are two different issues, as discussed above I will first solve the first one than fix the other one as well..

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VeveCakes

VeveCakes

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Why are you waiting to get tested?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

We just had a thread here, where the husband was doing something similar and just discovered he is HIV positive. Passed it onto his wife. I hope to god you haven't done the same.

 

Marriage counselling?

 

Why has there been no sex, how is the relationship otherwise?

 

The truth needs to come out unfortunately, it is the only way you can truly break this addiction.

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linqer

linqer

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The relashionship is quite good beside there is no sex, we kiss and hug and laugh each day..

 

WoW, crazy story of husband who gave HIV to his wife do you have a link for that thread?

 

I am waiting so it will be 3 months since last act..

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VeveCakes

VeveCakes

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The relashionship is quite good beside there is no sex, we kiss and hug and laugh each day..

 

WoW, crazy story of husband who gave HIV to his wife do you have a link for that thread?

 

I am waiting so it will be 3 months since last act..

 

I will find the thread. You need to get tested now though, then again in 3, 6 and 9 months. You are wasting valuable treatment time if you are infected.

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BaileyB

BaileyB

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We've heard this before.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/545164-married-baby-boy-but-going-hookers-weekly

 

Get tested for STDs and tell your wife. She has a right to know who you really are and that you are putting her health at risk.

 

You can not solve this problem on your own... You have been trying for a long time and you have not done it. You need serious help.

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linqer

linqer

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True I already posted it back then..

 

Time is now differenet,

 

I am going to therapy and going to be tested,

 

This time I also quit porn

 

I know I said it multiple times,

 

But this time is different, I am on daily therapy. Daily.

 

So my odds are much better to quit this time,

Now I will do the test and hope for good, I will do the test in few days..

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MadJackBird

MadJackBird

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I remember your previous thread. Good job getting into therapy. Have you discussed what might be the root issue of your addiction problem?

 

I still don't understand why you are waiting for an STD test. Back in September you said you were going to wait 90 days to get an STD test. Which makes no sense at all, but whatever, It's been over 90 days since September. Why are you not getting an STD test? Seriously just go to your doctor and get yourself checked out.

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ShatteredLady

ShatteredLady

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You do NOT have to wait to go to the doctors & get tested!

 

I think that you are frightened to be tested for sexual infections. You keep making excuses & NOT going. You do NOT wait for 30 (or however many you think now) days. You get tested NOW & then you get tested AGAIN.

 

Just hardly ever having sex with your wife is NOT enough!! GET TESTED!!

 

Go tomorrow!

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linqer

linqer

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yea, I am afraid to go testing, but I will do it very soon, hopefully thuesday next week,

 

Thats going to be my second big step, after going to therapy.

 

Didn't have urge to go to hookers or to masterbate in the last two weeks, so far its seems thats its working,

 

Last time that I lasted 30 days without hookers I had sudden urges during that period and I was figthing back against them, until I lost to 1 urge,

Now is different I had 0 urge, even not to masterbate, and I was alone multiple times with computers and internet but it wasn't interesting for me..

so its looks so far my therapy is working better than the last time, we will wait and see..

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linqer

linqer

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In the therapy he told me that I am doing that because

I want to be wanted by others, especially girls that I want

 

That's the same reason I look on girls that I think look good, watch porn and go to hookers...

 

Two week clean..

 

It's because as a child group of teens didn't want me to join their group..

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linqer

linqer

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I had the courage to go to HIV test

 

And I am clean, god bless,

 

Next week will be the final results..

 

So far 3 weeks I am clean, working hard to get rid of this deadly habit..

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