Married + Baby boy but going to hookers Weekly! [updated 2017]

[linqer]

15/90

 

I think the avoidence of hookers makes my life bad,

 

I am sure I will find another source for joy in my life.

 

Cheers

[dreamingoftigers]

Thanks!

 

Not really, I hope I will have the courage to go after the 90 days are gone..

 

I the mean time I didn't slept with my wife in the last 6 months.. but its like that for years, so nothing special,

My current plan finish 90 days, do the test and then start back give romance to my wife..

 

After that the challange will be to ditch porn.

 

So far in my plan there are 4 challanges:

1. Get rid of the hooker tigers

2. Go to test

3. Bring romance again to our relashionship

4. Ditch Porn (will not be easy but I already starting to work on it)

 

In my mind even If I stubmle I will try to get up again and will not give up like before. - And I don't have plans to stumble

 

Every struggle I need to become stronger thanks to him, like today with the sexy photo, Today I know better the enemy I am figthing with, so I have better chances to win.

 

Thanks for your support

 

I will be very blunt: the fact that you have not had frequent sex with your wife will most likely have caused a deep resent that WILL NOT go away when you first start having sex with her.

 

It will last awhile until you prove your regularity.

 

BTW, my husband withholds and I contemplate divorcing him EVERY DAY.

He knows this.

 

It would still be miles better to be honest with your wife.

[dreamingoftigers]

15/90

 

I think the avoidence of hookers makes my life bad,

 

I am sure I will find another source for joy in my life.

 

Cheers

 

That's the melancholy hitting. Your brain realized that you were serious and it's freaking out a bit. (Chemical change) Totally normal.

 

Probably six months to normalize.

[linqer]

16/90

 

I just need to find another source of excitement in my life..

 

That's all..

[ChickiePops]

16/90

 

I just need to find another source of excitement in my life..

 

That's all..

 

You could pay some attention to your wife and child.

[BettyDraper]

I will be very blunt: the fact that you have not had frequent sex with your wife will most likely have caused a deep resent that WILL NOT go away when you first start having sex with her.

 

It will last awhile until you prove your regularity.

 

BTW, my husband withholds and I contemplate divorcing him EVERY DAY.

He knows this.

 

It would still be miles better to be honest with your wife.

 

Oh no...sorry to hear this. Why does your husband withhold sex?

[linqer]

17/90 days (didn't visit hookers)

 

Yea just another day

 

I will start another counter today days in a raw I didn't visit hooker websites

 

The fact that I didn't **** hookers still not make me clean for 17 days, I am still inside junky, need to stop that behavior also..

 

0/90 (didn't visit hookers website)

[linqer]

18 / 90 days clean

0 / 90 days Visit hookers website

 

Today I saw a girl on the street with huge breasts without a bra and I freaked me out

 

I entered to hookers website but managed to overcome this panic attack..

 

The days are passing by, 18 days since last time I visit hooker, its more than I expected, now my biggest challange is not to visit the hookers websites..

 

Step after step I will be totally clean

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh no...sorry to hear this. Why does your husband withhold sex?

 

Honestly. I think it's because he's lazy as Hell.

 

He's lazy in bed too.

 

It's just another chore that requires movement.

 

And hey, TV is available......

 

Maybe if I was a 20 year-old, that might be worth getting out of the chair for. But I'm not.

 

He's good with the kids though, doesn't tend to cut corners there.

[dreamingoftigers]

18 / 90 days clean

0 / 90 days Visit hookers website

 

Today I saw a girl on the street with huge breasts without a bra and I freaked me out

 

I entered to hookers website but managed to overcome this panic attack..

 

The days are passing by, 18 days since last time I visit hooker, its more than I expected, now my biggest challange is not to visit the hookers websites..

 

Step after step I will be totally clean

 

Uh yeah, the hooker websites are pretty much going to act as a "gateway drug."

 

That's like being a sober alcoholic and browsing in the liquor store everyday. Not a great idea.

[linqer]

19/90 clean

1/90 not visiting hookers website

 

It's not easy,

The addiction is still in my blood..

My Dick and skin are sometimes burn yea

You read it right I have also physical challenges I need to overcome..

 

So far I have great success,

 

I still need to focus more on my wife than others girls..

[ChickiePops]

19/90 clean

1/90 not visiting hookers website

 

It's not easy,

The addiction is still in my blood..

My Dick and skin are sometimes burn yea

You read it right I have also physical challenges I need to overcome..

 

So far I have great success,

 

I still need to focus more on my wife than others girls..

 

Perhaps it's a language barrier issue but if your penis is literally burning then you probably have an STD and should visit a doctor immediately.

[MadJackBird]

You have an addiction. You should seek a support group for that. Much like Alcoholics, you need to be in a step program to overcome your addiction.

 

I recommend Celebrate Recovery, as it has specific groups for Sexual Integrity. but it's also Christian based, so it might not be what you are looking for. Otherwise almost any other support group would be good for you. As other's mentioned SA might be appropriate. But even going to a local AA meeting would be good.

 

Really all addictions are pretty similar, a support group for AA would be a good start if you can't find a specific SA one.

 

You are fooling yourself if you think you can do this on your own.

 

Why do I know this. I was married to an addict for 13 years. She had multiple adultery partners and got addicted to narcotic pain pills, she ended up getting fired for stealing pain pills. When she "cured" herself from pills, she went back to affairs.

 

Google the 12 steps, the reasons you are getting advice to admit to your wife is step 5 and 8.

 

Good Luck.

[linqer]

I knows a person who goes daily to hooked and with psychologic support few years and he can't stop

 

So therapy even for years sometimes will not help..

 

I guess that therapy is not a magic bullet, Lots of times I will not help, but if you insist it might work for you..

 

I guess I will first try online support group..

 

So far the 19.5 days clean which is my record for years but I am still addict both in my mind and body..

 

My plan was to be sober for 10 days initially but I managed to double that for now..

 

Now my focus is to stop with hookers websites..

 

------'-'------

My duck and body skin is burning sometimes only when I see hot girls but fighting the desire to go to hookers..

Yeah, it's very uncomfortable physical feeling,

I had it twice in my life, and it wasin the second I decide not go.. so I don't think it's STD related.. it's similar to drug addiction in rehab process, but a mild version of that..

 

-------

I never smoked, gambled, obsessed with money or food..

And never went to hookers daily although I had the time and money.. so I am sure I am not the worse case but it's still challanging

[summerdowling87]

You said if this situation was reversed you get and open marriage right?

 

So why not let you wife get a lover or a boyfriend?.

[linqer]

My wife is more old fashion than me, she will not want open marriage, I asked her few times..

 

20/90 clean

2/90 not visit hookers websites

[dreamingoftigers]

My wife is more old fashion than me, she will not want open marriage, I asked her few times..

 

20/90 clean

2/90 not visit hookers websites

 

Good for you, almost at the 3 week mark.....

 

EMDR helps with some of the internal wiring, not like talk therapy.

 

And there's Smart Recovery too.

 

Lots of options.

[MadJackBird]

I knows a person who goes daily to hooked and with psychologic support few years and he can't stop

 

So therapy even for years sometimes will not help..

 

I guess that therapy is not a magic bullet, Lots of times I will not help, but if you insist it might work for you..

 

I guess I will first try online support group..

 

So far the 19.5 days clean which is my record for years but I am still addict both in my mind and body..

 

My plan was to be sober for 10 days initially but I managed to double that for now..

 

Now my focus is to stop with hookers websites..

 

------'-'------

My duck and body skin is burning sometimes only when I see hot girls but fighting the desire to go to hookers..

Yeah, it's very uncomfortable physical feeling,

I had it twice in my life, and it wasin the second I decide not go.. so I don't think it's STD related.. it's similar to drug addiction in rehab process, but a mild version of that..

 

-------

I never smoked, gambled, obsessed with money or food..

And never went to hookers daily although I had the time and money.. so I am sure I am not the worse case but it's still challanging

 

 

 

Blah Blah Blah. All I see in this response is excuses and trying to justify why you don't want to really go all in with what is really needed for the recovery of your addiction. I'm sure others that have ever had to deal with someone in their life with addictions are rolling their eyes just like I am at this response.

 

Go ahead try to do it all on your own. You need go no further then your own thread here to see what will happen. Remember when you said you were cured. Then came back a year later.

 

So congrats on your accomplishments so far, I'm probably a bit negative and jaded because I've lived it myself. Keep up the good work, but I predict you are just headed towards a relapse without some real accountability. Like actual people you can talk to face to face, not an internet support group.

 

Good Luck

[linqer]

I understand your concern,

 

Even if I will have relapse I will try again, thats what different this time..

 

Today I tought about the following plan:

Everytime I will achieve 20 days in a goal I will add new one,

 

like after 20 days I will not visit hookers websites i will start avoid porn,

then after 20 days without porn, I will stop stare at womens in the street,

after 20 days of that I will start be more romantic to my wife...

 

Step after step.. so far its not being easy.. I still think few times to visit thier webists and go to hookers, but I manage to clear those thoughts away..

 

will continue to update

[linqer]

21/90 days clean

3/90 not visiting hookers websites

[linqer]

22/90

4/90

[linqer]

23/90

5/90

 

Just started to watch addictions doco films,

 

I think it will help me overcome it

[linqer]

24/90

6/90

[dreamingoftigers]

Sorry but I dont understand what do yoy mean? Fix what?

 

Fix me? Fix the relationship? The trust?

 

Too many old fashion minds, like you must go to therapy,

You must tell her.. like a broken record..

The same generic answer.. without explain anything..

 

 

I truly believe that overcome addiction is a matter of brain.. if I will be smart enough it will be easy to overcome it.. so my focus is on understanding.. why I do it, why I should not do it...

 

Today was a milestone - I was able to think about my life without hookers and porn for the first time

 

You aren't being truly intimate and the genuine article with your wife as long as you do this and have kept it a secret.

 

It closes off the door to ever had ng a full relationship with her.

 

Plus, you aren't giving her the chance to make an informed choice of if she would even want a man like you in her life.

 

You've totally ripped her off of loyalty, integrity and sexual intimacy.

 

Now you're selfishly covering your own ass.

[dreamingoftigers]

Sorry but I dont understand what do yoy mean? Fix what?

 

Fix me? Fix the relationship? The trust?

 

Too many old fashion minds, like you must go to therapy,

You must tell her.. like a broken record..

The same generic answer.. without explain anything..

 

 

I truly believe that overcome addiction is a matter of brain.. if I will be smart enough it will be easy to overcome it.. so my focus is on understanding.. why I do it, why I should not do it...

 

Today was a milestone - I was able to think about my life without hookers and porn for the first time

 

It's not about being "old-fashioned."

 

To be honest, the fact that you've shoved it so obsessively in so many women and treated your wife so terribly, all while stabbing her in the back AND that you might get away with it all, still just using, abusing and lying to her......

 

Really, really sickens me.

 

Some women don't find out until they've been with a guy 30+ years and find out their whole marriage was just one big lie.

 

I feel like my marriage was absolutely tainted bybwhat my husband did. The only saving grace about it was that I found out early on, instead of him having stolen decades of my life away.