Girlfriend's close guy friend. When is it too much?

[PaperCrane]

I curious why OP decided Nick must be the only problem.

 

Usually the urge to go threw you partners phone and tell your partner that they cannot talk to people shows trust and control issues.

 

I know if my boyfriend told me that I cannot talk to my one of my close friends I talk to a lot it would cause problems and I would probably wanna talk to the close friend about my boyfriend acting weird towards me.

 

Really I only spend hours talking to friends threw text when I'm sobbing about romance problems or they are... So aside from the affair I think OP should just expect that the end is near.

 

Is the close friend male or female?

[Chikibro]

I curious why OP decided Nick must be the only problem.

 

I would assume the issue is both of theirs and any lack of boundary defining their friendship

 

 

Usually the urge to go threw you partners phone and tell your partner that they cannot talk to people shows trust and control issues.

 

I wouldn't know bc I never went through her phone, fb messages were inadvertently left up on our computer. The texts I'm referring to, the initial discovery, I cannot read as it was just on my bill that I receive.

 

 

I know if my boyfriend told me that I cannot talk to my one of my close friends I talk to a lot it would cause problems and I would probably wanna talk to the close friend about my boyfriend acting weird towards me.

 

Guess I'm kind of lost bc I never said she couldnt talk to him or had to end the friendship

 

All that I asked was that their communication didn't affect our relationship or ability to communicate.

[Space Ritual]

Correct. Started off as texting then migrated to FB.

 

She deactivated her account for a couple days, just recently, but now it's back up.

 

Not sure what that means other than a knee jerk reaction by her.

 

She says all the right stuff to me, yet has done little to follow it up action wise.

 

I suppose that spells it all out perfectly.

 

 

What it means is the same thing t meant before you came here. That she does not give one whit what you think and as long as you don't hold her feet to the fire she feels she is under no obligation to take any concrete action to attempt to regain your trust. And also that since you seem on the surface to accept any attention she gives you that she knows she has you by the balls.

 

 

Go to the mirror and unzip your fly. Are your balls still there? Good..Now go use them and get rid of this jackwagon of a gf you have or you will continue to deserve everything you receive from her.

 

How you continue to accept such treatment after such a long period of time is beyond me.

 

Women do not respect doormats. And you sir, are a doormat.

[Space Ritual]

I would assume the issue is both of theirs and any lack of boundary defining their friendship

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't know bc I never went through her phone, fb messages were inadvertently left up on our computer. The texts I'm referring to, the initial discovery, I cannot read as it was just on my bill that I receive.

 

 

 

 

Guess I'm kind of lost bc I never said she couldnt talk to him or had to end the friendship

 

All that I asked was that their communication didn't affect our relationship or ability to communicate.

 

 

No vagina is worth this much drama unless it's lined with mink and diamonds.

[Jinx01]

Okay I'd gotten lost on what all had gone on... good on you not find this by reading her texts or anything.

 

But I really don't see how you would want her to fix this aside from not talking to this guy at all. She isn't going to do that it seems.

 

I don't see why you think that them talking is the problem affecting you guys... Is it because it makes you uncomfortable so you confront her about it and then she gets defensive and doesn't want to talk to you?

 

Are you sure that you guys are not just having general problems and this is the only real specific thing that can be pointed out?

[Silverlight]

I would assume the issue is both of theirs and any lack of boundary defining their friendship

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't know bc I never went through her phone, fb messages were inadvertently left up on our computer. The texts I'm referring to, the initial discovery, I cannot read as it was just on my bill that I receive.

 

 

 

 

Guess I'm kind of lost bc I never said she couldnt talk to him or had to end the friendship

 

All that I asked was that their communication didn't affect our relationship or ability to communicate.

Please, brother, stop rationalizing. All arrows are pointing to what you need to do. Regardless of what was said (Which we all know are things that were too inappropriate for you to know about) she has already violated your trust and respect. This woman does not respect you. Even when caught and asked to stop, she took the initiative to keep going behind your back rather than be honest... This is a gargantuan red flag, the lack of respect this woman has for you is just reprehensible. Show some self respect and bail the hell out of this one, man. This is not the type of person you want to be dating.