tabz7 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Seems like I can get an honest opinion to what I here so I would like to share my story. I was dating a girl for almost a year and did not really consider her my girlfriend but we were "seeing" each other. She was very much into me from the get go and I did have feelings for her but did not want her to get too close to me because i was not that serious about her and I also knew she was going to be leaving the country for 3 months. I was also still very much into a different girl while we were dating and messed around with this other girl a couple times while the girl i was dating was still in the same country as me. I never had sex with the other girl, but I was making out with her and I slept next to her a couple times and we did things like (dry humping lol) but never anything beyond that. When the girl I was dating left for her 3 month trip we really didn't make a decesion on what to do, i do remember telling her when she goes that we really cannot do much about it, and i remember saying if "things happen then they happen" (big mistake to say that). I think she wanted to stay more into the relationship then I did when she left, and she said that she didnt want me doing anything and i may have said the same to her (not sure). So it was kind of awkward from the start. But she pretty much considered me her guy out there. Well the trip ended up being great for her and it made me paranoid and scared that she was drinking too much and basically living out of reality. So the entire month of March we basically argued and fought, we couldn't hold a conversation and i was always accusing her of what she was doing. During this fighting time she met another guy who was treating her much better than I was at the time. She did tell me about a guy she met and said she had feelings for him but told me they did not do anything and that he was out of her life. When she came back I found a picture of them together in her book and that she also had his contact info, she also admitted the she slept with him one night while she was there and drinking was involved. So she basically lied to me about that and I lied to her about my fling as well. She said if she didnt tell me to protect my feelings. So is one of us more wrong than the other? I do realize that I care about her more than I thought and want things to work out. Is this just Karma? I never had any reason to not trust her until now. Everyone I talked said I should just let it go and wipe the plate clean seeing we both were wrong. What does everyone else think? Link to post Share on other sites
sweetpea01 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 It seems like you and her did not define clear boundaries before she left for her 3 month trip... You had a fling, she had a fling. At the time neither of you seemed ready to commit...but now that she is back, you guys should try to put the past behind you, and start fresh. WHile you may not like what happened, she didnt' cheat on you...and you were seeeing someone else anyway. SP Link to post Share on other sites
tabz7 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 so even though she had sex with him, and i didnt have sex but did things before it still equally wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Cheating is cheating. You cheated on her and she cheated on you. Yeah she took it further but you both cheated and betrayed the others trust. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Oh for crying out loud.......!!! Its what?......not even a full year yet? AND you guys dont really even consider eachother boy/girl friends??? And look at all the B.S. and trouble ALREADY!!!! This relationship has disaster written all over it. Its not even a year and you already have "cheating" issues to deal with. Severe ties and move on. You BOTH deserve better than this. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Oh for crying out loud.......!!! Its what?......not even a full year yet? AND you guys dont really even consider eachother boy/girl friends??? And look at all the B.S. and trouble ALREADY!!!! This relationship has disaster written all over it. Its not even a year and you already have "cheating" issues to deal with. Severe ties and move on. You BOTH deserve better than this. Link to post Share on other sites
tabz7 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 well thanks for your honesty. i guess i would rather get all this stuff out of the way while we were not serious or committed as to being boyfriend and girlfriend and doing this stuff. this has been a slowly building relationship. sometimes it takes being with somebody else to realize where you want to be. and thats the honest truth. yes trust is an issue but i guess we should just take things slow and see where it goes. i do not blame her for her actions, becuase i know if i cared about her a 1/10th of what i do now or even talked to her she would have never done it. i was constantly telling her that i wanted her to go away and she never did. i took her for granted and i payed the price. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts