"Best friend" and ex talking???close??

[QueenDafine]

This is just like a rant post and one i need for advice so itll be pretty long.. ok so about three weeks ago I found out my ex and my best friend started talking. So I dated my ex for about 11 months and honestly he made me the happiest I'd been, it's just that we couldn't do long distance after he had to move overseas (I couldnt go with him) and so much stuff with trust issues happened.. anyway, my best friend got a message from him 3 weeks ago and they started talking, mostly about me at first. She told me straight away they were texting and it bothered me a little but I guessed it was only texting. And yeah me and him still talk everyday, and it's pretty flirty too, as much as I try to stop that I can't. Anyway, one week ago I found out they had called eachother. For hours into the early morning. That pissed me off so bad and I cried and man I was so angry. It was so shad the way she explained it and I didn't say anything, not how I felt about it not that it bothered me, nothing. Because I was so shocked and ****ing pissed that she would do that. First of all, she has a boyfriend okay? So he was texting to me one night and it was purely mutual, we were friends before she even knew him! She got pissed at the texting so I stopped. So she knows I still have feelings for my ex but she goes and does that! The ****ing snake huh?? I found it funny because if I did that with her boyfriend? She would've dropped me a long time ago. So yeah I've tried to not let it bother me but its ****ing getting to me now, especially when she texts me or posts things I can SEE his habits and vocabulary in hers. Like **** after that she's been stand off with me and me with her, I cannot stand being around her knowing she called my ex and apparantly talked about a lot of personal and deep stuff.. before she used to tell me everytime they tried and about what but now she doesn't tell me ****, in this last week since they called. She's told me a little I guess. And yeah now especially when I'm online it's like she keeps reminding me she's calling one of her other friends or that she really misses her boyfriend, **** she never did before. I've been best friends with her for 6 years and I thought nothing would do something like this but it is. I dont trust her at all right now because of how shady she's being and how she's acting right now is pissing me off by the second. I promised to never let a guy come in between any of my friendships but I realized it's not the guy, it's HER. Any friend in general just wouldn't do that knowing it would hurt you and make you angry and upset. Also I guess it because we've always had a little competition in between us and for a while back a lot of her boyfriends ended up having crushes on me, and also she never used to get attention from guys. I dont even get why shes talking to abother guy for hours and hours when shes got her own boyfriend! Tf? Im sure he wouldbt be happy with that at all. And it's bothering me so bad how my ex is talking to her. She won't show me any of their convos (surprise! ) but I know that he keeps making plans with HER to do stuff when he comes over in two months. Yeah so when I see him its gonna be awkward because I'm gonna be jealous and annoyed when him and my best fend talk also they've never met because she was away for a whole year while I was dating him! Even now they could be on the phone I wouldn't be surprised, or talking about some deep stuff only him and me used to talk about this is killing me so baad, I mean I feel so insecure and ****ty. I won't see her until Monday too so I'm not sure if I should say something or let her bring the situation up. I swear she's being a snake to me, I can't believe how much this is messing me up right now. It Hurst so bad. Also, he's ignoring all my texts right now and giving me the seen. Which means he's in a phone call because that ms what he always does when he is. And guess what? So is she. I guess I'll find out soon huh?

[ExpatInItaly]

This is just like a rant post and one i need for advice so itll be pretty long.. ok so about three weeks ago I found out my ex and my best friend started talking. So I dated my ex for about 11 months and honestly he made me the happiest I'd been, it's just that we couldn't do long distance after he had to move overseas (I couldnt go with him) and so much stuff with trust issues happened.. anyway, my best friend got a message from him 3 weeks ago and they started talking, mostly about me at first. She told me straight away they were texting and it bothered me a little but I guessed it was only texting. And yeah me and him still talk everyday, and it's pretty flirty too, as much as I try to stop that I can't. Anyway, one week ago I found out they had called eachother. For hours into the early morning. That pissed me off so bad and I cried and man I was so angry. It was so shad the way she explained it and I didn't say anything, not how I felt about it not that it bothered me, nothing. Because I was so shocked and ****ing pissed that she would do that. First of all, she has a boyfriend okay? So he was texting to me one night and it was purely mutual, we were friends before she even knew him! She got pissed at the texting so I stopped. So she knows I still have feelings for my ex but she goes and does that! The ****ing snake huh?? I found it funny because if I did that with her boyfriend? She would've dropped me a long time ago. So yeah I've tried to not let it bother me but its ****ing getting to me now, especially when she texts me or posts things I can SEE his habits and vocabulary in hers. Like **** after that she's been stand off with me and me with her, I cannot stand being around her knowing she called my ex and apparantly talked about a lot of personal and deep stuff.. before she used to tell me everytime they tried and about what but now she doesn't tell me ****, in this last week since they called. She's told me a little I guess. And yeah now especially when I'm online it's like she keeps reminding me she's calling one of her other friends or that she really misses her boyfriend, **** she never did before. I've been best friends with her for 6 years and I thought nothing would do something like this but it is. I dont trust her at all right now because of how shady she's being and how she's acting right now is pissing me off by the second. I promised to never let a guy come in between any of my friendships but I realized it's not the guy, it's HER. Any friend in general just wouldn't do that knowing it would hurt you and make you angry and upset. Also I guess it because we've always had a little competition in between us and for a while back a lot of her boyfriends ended up having crushes on me, and also she never used to get attention from guys. I dont even get why shes talking to abother guy for hours and hours when shes got her own boyfriend! Tf? Im sure he wouldbt be happy with that at all. And it's bothering me so bad how my ex is talking to her. She won't show me any of their convos (surprise! ) but I know that he keeps making plans with HER to do stuff when he comes over in two months. Yeah so when I see him its gonna be awkward because I'm gonna be jealous and annoyed when him and my best fend talk also they've never met because she was away for a whole year while I was dating him! Even now they could be on the phone I wouldn't be surprised, or talking about some deep stuff only him and me used to talk about this is killing me so baad, I mean I feel so insecure and ****ty. I won't see her until Monday too so I'm not sure if I should say something or let her bring the situation up. I swear she's being a snake to me, I can't believe how much this is messing me up right now. It Hurst so bad. Also, he's ignoring all my texts right now and giving me the seen. Which means he's in a phone call because that ms what he always does when he is. And guess what? So is she. I guess I'll find out soon huh?

 

Why on earth would you still see him, given that he is an ex and is flirting with your best friend?

 

Find your backbone girl, and cut these two out of your life. She isn't your friend.

[stillafool]

You've written about this in another thread a while ago. I told you then to have a talk with her and tell her how you feel. Now you have waited so long that she definitely has feelings for your ex and he has them for her as well. I think at this point you should end your friendship since you can't have a talk about how you feel with your so called best friend. I agree with the above poster that you should end it with both of them. He is your ex for a reason and he hasn't asked to get back together. Let him go and heal.

Edited August 29, 2015 by stillafool

[kendahke]

Did you 'advertise your man' to her while you were dating him? Some chicks aren't your friend--they're your frenemy, holding onto a grievance and laying in wait for their opportunity to strike back.

 

Yes, it sucks to have a bff who runs in behind you for sloppy seconds, but that's the kind of chick she is. You now are no longer under any illusions about what she is and what she is capable of. How you proceed now is up to you and either direction you take - remaining friends with her (why???) or kicking them both to the curb will directly impact the level of overall happiness in your life.

 

So decide how quickly you want to get to peace of mind.

 

In the meantime: