joshuamathew Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 I have a tough relationship with a girl i've been with for 8 months now. It started off great she agreed with all my views and we never argued for the first couple months. But as time went on she started disagreeing with my views on things. She was in an abusive relationship with her previous boyfriend he verbally and physically abused her, he cheated on her. He was her first love and she cheated on her next two boyfriends with him. She still talked with him on the phone when she got with me and i didnt like this naturally because he's a jerk and she cheated on her last two boyfriends with him ya know? So i told her i didnt want her talking to him anymore because he asked her to have sex with him while we were going out and she said she wouldnt and i thought that would be the end of it. Well, one day i had a suspision she had been going behind my back to talk to him so i checked her call history and sure enough she had dialed and recieved calls to his number. I talked to her about it and she denied lieing to me and said she never said she wouldnt talk to him anymore. So she continued to text and talk to him on the phone until one day he told her he would give the money he owed to her if she had sex with him. Then she finally stopped talking to him. I feel i have grown insecure because she has cheated with him in the past and i fear it will happen again. I think she doesn't talk to him anymore but i still have that fear because she lied to me in the past. Sometimes i feel dumb and controling because i get mad when she talks to certain people just in fear that she'll hurt me. She is also a flirtatious person which doesnt bother me normally but in these circumstances it doesnt help. She does the common flirting things like touching guys when she talks to them stares at people etc. etc. I know alot of my feelings are invalid but it's hard to let the fear go. Also i feel that she's very immature because she shuts down when i talk to her about things, i don't cuss at her, i dont raise my voice i just try to talk calmly and lovingly but she still gets defensive and makes excuses and denies everything when she will even talk to me. I just feel like i'm doing all the work in the relationship. We love eachother very much and wanna stay together but we find ourselves unhappy. I tell her the things i want her to change and she says she will try and change them but i barely see her trying anything. She says when i get on her about her shortcomings which i don't believe i nag i just tell her about the same things but she refuses to fix them. The plot thickens.... we found out last month that she's pregnant and this has just caused more stress and makes us fight even more. What should i do?! Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 I think you need time apart. The truth is more than likely she probably did cheat on you with the guy (could of been early in the relationship). Lay out what you want out of the relationship and tell her you're not getting it. You have to stick by your guns even if it means leaving her. She is a liar and manipulative and doesn't respect you. She must think you're a complete moron if she expects to be able to lie about things she told you in the past and pretend as if they never happened. You deserve better, let her know you won't take any less than better. The child complicates things but you can still be a good father and not be in a romantic relationship with her. The child is better off with two happy parents than having two parents who only remain together out of guilt or a sense of responsibility. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 What should i do?! Definitely get a DNA test, since the baby may not be yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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