ConfusedKyle Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Wow, can't beleive I found this forum, I have been pretty hurt for the last month. I hope you guys can help ease the pain a bit and perhaps let me know what i did was right. Here is my shortened story - met this older woman (im late 20s) and we hooked up, it was passionate, she got my # and didnt hear from her for like 9 months until I moved from state, which she found out and called me, we began this weird LDR where we'd meet 1/month and have sex meanwhile she would call me 1-3 times a week but I could NEVER call her. (Red flag) Anyway so I started getting REALLY attached to her, she would mention her 'ex-husband' a lot, and near the end I found out she was still legally married, but 'couldnt get out', and very near the end found out SHE STILL LIVED WITH HIM, about a week later cut her off - it was tearful and she begged me to not leave her. So, that's where things were, I have been super conflicted over the whole thing, I really liked her, there was no future with us but I felt close/open with her, she claimed she 'never lied to me' despite the obvious deceit over the husband, but I can't get over my attachment to her. There was also some serious emotional abuse and stockholm syndrome going on, she CONSTANTLY put me down subtly, and meanwhile always told me how cool she was - worked as a emergency medical person - so it was always 'saved so and so today'. It was so trashy, toxic and no future, but I miss her... Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 You dodged a bullet....sounds like a bad movie of the week. Stay NC and beware in the future of those red flags so you won't become attached. It might be prudent to talk to a mentor, spiritual advisor or therapist to get her toxicity out of your system. Anyone who would put you down and lie to you isn't healthy regardless of how passionate the sex is. Move on, Grumps 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wanderingxsoulz Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 My MM was emotionally manipulative and a liar. Yet it was hard to leave even with that knowledge. But I did, eventually. It has been 2 months and I miss him everyday. It still hurts a lot but it does get better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedKyle Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 I partly want to talk to her, to see if she is ok, to hear her voice...god its hard to keep going at times, esp I feel inferior with her putting me down, I need to rationalize myself TO HER. Link to post Share on other sites
wanderingxsoulz Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 So do I... badly. But we need to realise that we are better off without them. Or at least that's what I try to tell myself anyway. If they really wanted to be with us, they would be with us. Link to post Share on other sites
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