dragonwalker Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 So right now I'm 27 and live in Los Angeles. For various reasons I've never really dated before except recently when I went on essentially one of my first real date with a girl which didn't work out after 2 months or so. I want to start the online dating thing again. I tried 2 years ago without much success but then again I didn't put that much effort into it. However now I'm mentally and physically in a better place and I feel motivated to find someone for a long term relationship. Here's the thing. I've always known about myself that I come off as sort of a geeky person. I'm not saying this is a problem but as a first impression to give people it's not the most conducive to attracting woman. Before anyone says I should be comfortable with who I am I just want to bring attention to this fact and I wanted some suggestions on how I could possibly use this to my advantage or portray this in a more attractive light. Personally, in the last few years I've really worked on some self improvement to move away from that image (ie lost a lot of weight from before, trying to be more/ show confidence, basically just be the best version of myself). Have any of you felt you were like this or are still like this and what have you done to modify this perception so it doesn't dominate a person's impression of you? Also, if I wanted some advice on what to post on specific dating profiles, where should I post stuff like that? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Remember, OLD is a single tool. Don't only rely on OLD. Do stuff IRL to meet people too. Your OLD profile should be specific but not overly detailed. Think about things that make you unique. Have at least 2 photos: one good face shot & one that shows your whole self so people can see your proportions. Be pithy when you respond to other's. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dragonwalker Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) Hi, So a few years ago I created an online profile. I just reactivated the account and edited some stuff and I wanted to get some thoughts on the sections that I wrote. In my profile I also have three pictures of myself, 1 profile face picture of me wearing aviator shades, another picture of me waist up smiling with a bird on my shoulder, and a full body picture of me standing in front of the guns of the battleship Iowa. They are recent pictures and I selected these choices based on some suggestions. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- My self summary: It’s hard to describe what I am all about because I am still working on discovering that out myself. I am looking for a meaningful relationship that helps both of us get more out of life. A relationship is important to me because I believe that the committed investment in time and energy will lead to more happiness. Some of my likes are a bit unorthodox. I like to play games but not necessarily in the way that you are thinking of. The games that I like to play have a deeper intellectual aspect like board games. It helps me meet people and is a lot of fun because there are as many games as there are people. When it comes to relationships I don’t “play games” and that’s why I’m looking for a serious, honest and fun relationship. I’m trying online possibilities because I’m less comfortable meeting people out in an environment where I may be expected to behave in a way different than what I am comfortable with. My lifestyle doesn’t lend itself to meeting people in a traditional way so this is what I hope to be one of the first things that you and I have in common. I do know that my personality shines the most when I find a connection with someone who is as willing as I am to find the best qualities in each other. What this should mean to you is that I don’t find it difficult to relate to people but that it takes time for both of us to know each other best and that this is a process that takes time. What I am doing with my life: I am working on admissions into graduate school to further my career at work. I'm really good at: Working under pressure! For instance in college I liked the challenge of balancing the busy work load, internships, and very involved work schedule, now I sometimes feel like I'm on vacation. The first thing people usually notice about me: Friends and coworkers have often told that they find it easy to be comfortable being with me by putting them at ease. People have told me that I am a deeply reflective and thoughtful. Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food: I love to be entertained by activities that encourage me to use my imagination but I'm always a kid at heart. For instance I enjoy building models that give me a chance to think about the background of what I am building. My reading habits are selective. I like to read things with some basis in reality because those are the stories that keep me interested. Yet I love science fiction because of the possibilities in presents for an alternate reality, sci-fi appeals to the imaginative part of my brain. The 6 things I could not do without: I like food so that would have to be number 1,2 and 3. 4 though 6 would have to be something sentimental like family, friends and love so I don't sound to selfish , but ya, not before food. I spend a lot of time thinking about: The future. On a typical Friday night I am: Either out with some freinds or at home with games, models, and other assorted entertainment. The most private thing I am willing to admit: I am secretly shy. You should message me if: I have made an impression on you ---------------------------------------------------------------- My goal is to use a profile template and adapt it to several online sites. I'm going to start with the popular and large sites and see how I do. Suggestions are welcome. Thank you. Edited August 30, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) It's too self deprecating. It reads like Hi I think I'm a loser but I'm a sweet pathetic guy so please have pity on me & go out with me. Not gonna work A good OLD profile accentuates the positive & is upbeat. think advertising and put your best foot forward. I'd focus on how you want a relationship to enhance both of your lives. Liking board games is fine. Going through all the semantics about board games, intellectual stimulation vs head games is ridiculous. Saying you can't meat people IRL is a huge red flag. To me it screams that you can't communicate without a device. Say what you do for work. Then mention grad school, otherwise you read like a poor student with no $$ to date. I'm not saying everyone OL is a gold digger but you have think nobody post-college wants raman noodles & mac & cheese any more The other things you say are OK However saying you are secretly shy after you confessed you can't meet people IRL is a lie. It's no secret that you are shy. If you take out the BS up front about being socially awkward, they will figure that out when you say you are "secretly shy". It's a less damaging way to put it out there that you are not a Lothario. Don't put your profile on ALL the big sites. Pick one. Then perhaps pick a niche cite tailored to your personal interests. Edited August 30, 2015 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
Tread Carefully Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Maybe try to put in some specific things. Like what kind of music you like, movies etc. There isn't anything specific enough in your profile except board games (which ones?) that I could say Oh, I like that too! When I look at profiles, I try to see what we have in common that I can use in a fun way to get a conversation going. I don't ever just say Hi. I like to make my first impression fun and unforgettable. In order for that to happen, I need something to work with. But that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Lose the aviators!! We aren't shallow, but we want to see the goods! I agree that you need to add specifics. There's also a lot of unnecessary verbiage in your profile. For example, what purpose does your opening sentence serve? "It’s hard to describe what I am all about because I am still working on discovering that out myself." You begin by telling me exactly nothing. That sentence won't grab and hold my very limited and easily distracted attention span, especially when my fingers are itching to hit the back button so that I can click on the next profile. Tighten up your sentences throughout, then run your profile through spell check and do a manual check. Unless you're trying to highlight laziness as a personal attribute, please get rid of the misspellings and typos. Otherwise, it's decent. I get a good feel for you as a person, I think. You're on the quiet side, sincere, college-educated, responsible, and at least somewhat ambitious since you're working on your graduate degree. You like board games and are looking for a relationship. Those are all positives. Yes, you love food too, but which college guy doesn't? Link to post Share on other sites
Author dragonwalker Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 It's too self deprecating. It reads like Hi I think I'm a loser but I'm a sweet pathetic guy so please have pity on me & go out with me. Not gonna work A good OLD profile accentuates the positive & is upbeat. think advertising and put your best foot forward. I'd focus on how you want a relationship to enhance both of your lives. Liking board games is fine. Going through all the semantics about board games, intellectual stimulation vs head games is ridiculous. Saying you can't meat people IRL is a huge red flag. To me it screams that you can't communicate without a device. Say what you do for work. Then mention grad school, otherwise you read like a poor student with no $$ to date. I'm not saying everyone OL is a gold digger but you have think nobody post-college wants raman noodles & mac & cheese any more The other things you say are OK However saying you are secretly shy after you confessed you can't meet people IRL is a lie. It's no secret that you are shy. If you take out the BS up front about being socially awkward, they will figure that out when you say you are "secretly shy". It's a less damaging way to put it out there that you are not a Lothario. Don't put your profile on ALL the big sites. Pick one. Then perhaps pick a niche cite tailored to your personal interests. Ok, got it. I reread my summary and I see what you mean. Here is a new and improved version. What do you think? My self summary: I am looking for a meaningful relationship that helps both of us get more outof life. A relationship is important to me because I want to share in life'sups and downs but mostly ups with someone who can commit time and energy tomake that experience even better. I am an introvert at heart but I do enjoy the company of people who respect orshare my own interests. I find board games help me focus my intellectual sidewith other people while adding a bit of competitiveness and excitement. It'sgreat because I can play with both friends and strangers alike. If you've everplayed games like 7 Wonders, Ticket to Ride, or Eclipse you'll know what Imean. I also have a passion for biking asoften as I can. I bike as often and as far as I can because it helps me relax becauseit provides a natural high, keeps me in the zone and keeps me active. When it comes to relationships I don’t “play games” and like agood board game player I'm looking for a partner who has a winning attitude butis patient enough to know that you can't always make the right choices but youcan have the right attitude about it and the most important experience is abouthaving fun and enjoying the company you are with. I’m trying online possibilities because I want to broaden who Ican meet from different walks of life than the people I meet in my own socialcircles. I do know that my personality shines the most when I find a connection withsomeone who is as willing as I am to find the best qualities in each other.What this should mean to you is that I don’t find it difficult to relate topeople but that it takes time for both of us to know each other best. What I am doing with my life: I have worked for the past 5 years since I graduated from college as a bankerat a bank. I am also working on admissions into graduate school to further mycareer. I'm really good at: Working under pressure! For instance in college I liked the challenge ofbalancing the busy work load, internships, and very involved work schedule, nowI sometimes feel like I'm on vacation. The first thing people usually notice about me: Friends and coworkers have often told that I put them at ease because I'm acomfortable person to share company. People have told me that I am oftenreflective and thoughtful. Favorite books, movies, shows, music and food: I love to be entertained by activities that encourage me to use my imaginationbut I'm always a kid at heart. For instance I enjoy building models that giveme a chance to think about the background of what I am building. My reading habits are selective. I like to read things with some basis inreality because those are the stories that keep me interested. Yet I lovescience fiction because of the possibilities in presents for an alternatereality, sci-fi appeals to the imaginative part of my brain. The 6 things I could not do without: like food so that would have to be number 1,2 and 3. 4 though 6 wouldhave to be something sentimental like family, friends and love so I don't soundto selfish , but ya,not before food. I spend a lot of time thinking about: The future. On a typical Friday night I am: Either out with some friends or at home with games, models, and other assortedentertainment. The most private thing I am willing to admit: I am secretly shy. You should message me if: I have made an impression on you Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Moderation moved your posting to the most appropriate forum. As a reminder, no personally identifiable information, nor links to web sites or photographs, is allowed. As example, if a block of text can be searched to a real profile online, adios to the thread. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Much better. It's more upbeat & positive. Now you sound like a person worth talking to. I knew he was in there somewhere, buried under all that insecurity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 So right now I'm 27 and live in Los Angeles. For various reasons I've never really dated before except recently when I went on essentially one of my first real date with a girl which didn't work out after 2 months or so. I want to start the online dating thing again. I tried 2 years ago without much success but then again I didn't put that much effort into it. However now I'm mentally and physically in a better place and I feel motivated to find someone for a long term relationship. Here's the thing. I've always known about myself that I come off as sort of a geeky person. I'm not saying this is a problem but as a first impression to give people it's not the most conducive to attracting woman. Before anyone says I should be comfortable with who I am I just want to bring attention to this fact and I wanted some suggestions on how I could possibly use this to my advantage or portray this in a more attractive light. Personally, in the last few years I've really worked on some self improvement to move away from that image (ie lost a lot of weight from before, trying to be more/ show confidence, basically just be the best version of myself). Have any of you felt you were like this or are still like this and what have you done to modify this perception so it doesn't dominate a person's impression of you? Also, if I wanted some advice on what to post on specific dating profiles, where should I post stuff like that? Dragon Walker...did you not know being "geek" is now IN? Just get a gander at this " " YouTube video. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author dragonwalker Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Dragon Walker...did you not know being "geek" is now IN? Just get a gander at this " " YouTube video. lol I was reading the profiles of other people online including other guys and I noticed that my personal self-summary section is very long compared to other people. Do you guys think it's to long for something like okcupid? I don't want to seem like I'm rambling. What parts would you suggest I remove or edit to make it shorter if you think it should be shorter? Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 First, bird and battleship guns OK, aviator glasses no. Self description waayyy too long. I couldn't get through it. Link to post Share on other sites
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