Reece Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Basically there is a girl in my classes at college. I've haven't stopped thinking about her for about 7 months and college is about to break up for 4 months for the summer. I really want to tell her that I like her, but i'm afraid if she says no it could make things awkward between us, as we are always in the same classes and we're friends. I can't tell if she likes me or is just being friendly. She looks at me during class when i'm not looking and is always trying to sit really close to me. She says she thinks about me and always complimenting me. She is quite a shy girl and does not have a boyfriend. It is her last day at college tommorrow and I won't see her again for 4 months. I really want to tell her how I feel, but I don't know how to go about it. Please could someone give me some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Well, what do you have to lose?? If she's been giving you the eye trust me she won't say no...You can just simply ask for her # and tell her after some time for course... "hey maybe if you have time in the summer we can maybe do something nice, hang out...you know, would you like that??" Or something like that Just be honest with her and tell her how you feel, this might be the beginning of a beautiful relationship...Either friends or lovers...Who knows but ya have to ask to get an answer!!! Don't wonder all summer "what if" you'll torture yourself...Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Reece Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Thanks for the reply. Yeah, I don't know whether to ask her if she wants to do something or just tell her that I like her. I heard somewhere if you tell a girl you like her it gives them 'all the power' and that isn't a good thing. Anyway, I have her number already and she is the type of person that hasn't had much experience in relationships. I'm still confused on what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Illusion24 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Then give her a call and start talking to her. See what she's into and what she likes. Then after a couple of weeks or days ask if she wants to do something. The first date or first time hanging out don't take her out on a date. Do something during the day something upbeat and doesn't put pressure on the both of you. Go to a nice cafe` and eat lunch or drink some coffee to break in the comfort level of being around each other alone...that's a start.. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Ask her out, dude. And don't be timid about it. Just say "Hey, you want to grab some coffee?" or something to that effect. Just say it confidently. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Definitely ask her out, or at least call her. She likes you. That is obvious. To be in college again... thanks for reminding me. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Don't tell her you like her. She'll find that out through your actions. Link to post Share on other sites
Undertaker Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 She tells you that she thinks about you all the time and stares at you in class when you're not looking...and you're not sure if she likes you? Sounds to me like she's not the only unexperienced dater. Ask her out, if she says 'yes', then the hard part is already over. If she says 'no' then guess what, the hard part is also already over. My feeling is that she'll choose the former over the latter. Therefore, try this... This always works for me: Take her out for dinner & make sure you sit in a booth. In the middle of dinner, excuse yourself to go to the restroom. When you return, sit on her side of the booth, right next to her. Then, for the next few minutes, just read her body language. Does she seem comfortable with me sitting next to her? Did she slide down to the opposite end of the seat or is she sitting close? As long as you maintain eye contact this usually works. If you avoid eye contact, it will feel really uncomfortable for both of you. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartSprinkles Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Therefore, try this... This always works for me: Take her out for dinner & make sure you sit in a booth. In the middle of dinner, excuse yourself to go to the restroom. When you return, sit on her side of the booth, right next to her. Then, for the next few minutes, just read her body language. Does she seem comfortable with me sitting next to her? Did she slide down to the opposite end of the seat or is she sitting close? As long as you maintain eye contact this usually works. If you avoid eye contact, it will feel really uncomfortable for both of you. As a female, if a guy did this to me I would think it was kinda creepy! I am definitely not a prude or anything, but if I was on date or hanging out with a guy that I thought was the "bee's knees" I wouldn't like to be ambushed by the same side of the booth technique! If you just spring it on her like that she might get shy and scared for her life being as inexperienced as you say she is. Just be kind. Hold the door, open her car door, tell her she smells nice, tell her she looks damn good! If she giggles, and says thanks, you've got it made! Don't push it! Link to post Share on other sites
Reece Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Thanks, this is all great advice, and i'm going to go for it tommorrow. I will let you know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Reece Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Well she said to me 'have a good summer' at the end of the day, she then said if you want to do something sometime and I sai yeah i've got your number. I'm going to leave it a couple of days then i'll call her. Shall I ask her out straight away? Or should I just wait and be friendly with her. I don't want to scare her off. However if I wait too long will I then be in the 'friends zone' which I have been told is hard to get out of? Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 Call, say what's up, see how things are going, then say let's hang out somewhere, or something like that. The only way you'll end up in the friend zone is if you don't take charge of the situation. That can only happen if you cater to her too much. Be your own person... that's how you avoid the dog house. Also, don't take it personal if it doesn't progress the way you'd like it to. You'll have plenty of time to get it right with other girls. Just have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
WithOrWithoutYou Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 Originally posted by Reece Well she said to me 'have a good summer' at the end of the day, she then said if you want to do something sometime and I sai yeah i've got your number. I'm going to leave it a couple of days then i'll call her. Shall I ask her out straight away? Or should I just wait and be friendly with her. I don't want to scare her off. However if I wait too long will I then be in the 'friends zone' which I have been told is hard to get out of? Don't wait too long. Call her up today (Saturday). You already waited all semester. Um, she just ASKED you to call her and ask her out, or about as close as most women are ever going to get. I think I need to translate for you: "have a good summer" = "Well, I've been flirting with you and giving you the eye all damn semester, but you haven't asked me out, soooo, guess you're just not interested. That's kind of a shame, and a little confusing, because I have read your signals and even though you never got off the dime, you appeared to really like me. Ok, I shouldn't, but before I put you permanently into the "nice shy guy at school who would make a good friend" zone, I'll wave myself at you ONE more time before I just give up and call you a friend only. I think you are hot, and you do have my number, so if you change your mind, call me, but if not, have a good summer." Note that the translation may not be 100% accurate, but I think it's probably pretty close based on what you said. Call her up, and tell her you would like to take her to dinner. Take her out, pay for it, make good conversation, and see if you hit it off. Since you got along so great all year, you probably will. Find some subtle way to let her know you are interested in more than friendship and set the mood for perhaps being more than "just friends" with her at some point, but do not push or rush things. For example, in the course of making conversation, you might tell her that you are susprised she doesn't have a BF because she is very smart and beautiful, etc. As was said, she will figure out that you like her based on the fact that you asked her out, by how you treat her, and by the context of what you say. You don't have to just call her up and say "I like you, will you go on a date with me". Just ask her to dinner, make some conversation over dinner that will give her the correct idea, and be yourself. Don't feel like you have to rush that conversation though. Let it flow. Also remember that while there is some truth to the whole "friend zone" thing, it doesn't necessarily always hold true. A lot of great relationships have started as just a really close friendship. It sounds like you are a bit nervous, but that's ok. She is shy too, right? Remember, again, sometimes the best loving relationships start out as good friendships. Chances are, if she has put you in the permanent "just friend" category, she will find a way to let you know that over dinner once you make your intentions subtly clear, but I really doubt that is the case. It sounds from what you have said that she is into you, and is just wondering why you haven't asked her out yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Reece Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 Thanks for the great advice, I will call her on Sunday and ask her out. I want to make my intentions clear quite soon, so I will let her know, hopefully when I take her out on our first date. I will let you all know what happens when I call her on Sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
ek Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 your already at an advantage because you talk to the girl already, so it couldnt be much easier. It's not always easy asking someone out full stop but you can always say something along the lines of would she like to see you again during the summer, or does she fancy doing something with you? It's much harder when you dont have that much opportunity to talk to someone (my current dilemma), however you havent got that problem so dont lose out on what could be a good thing. If she says no.... then dont worry about anything. Regret is worse, regretting not asking. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 15, 2005 Share Posted May 15, 2005 She really likes you....all the classic signs....are there I would admit to doing many of the things she is doing because she thinks you rock I agree with all the posters. Ask her out. Make it sound like a date though. If she says no, which I doubt, then what did you lose ? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts