ConfusedKyle Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I definately dealt with it in mine, and my question is how do I get over it? She had complete control over me, would screen/deny my calls and tell me 'only I can call you', would constantly put me down, would constantly brag how cool she was, how important, unique, special she was; my stories were always boring etc etc. Of course the abuse was placated by wild sex, and he words of how much we were in love, how much I meant etc etc. How do I reconcile the difference? Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I definately dealt with it in mine, and my question is how do I get over it? She had complete control over me, would screen/deny my calls and tell me 'only I can call you', would constantly put me down, would constantly brag how cool she was, how important, unique, special she was; my stories were always boring etc etc. Of course the abuse was placated by wild sex, and he words of how much we were in love, how much I meant etc etc. How do I reconcile the difference? Sorry that you had to deal with that kind of abuse. I have dealt with verbal abuse from H and it has made me not have feelings for him now. We've been together 9 years. She sounds like she was bad for you and you deserve better treatment. Some people think that they can treat you however they want, because you care about them. They take advantage of your caring and it does affect ones' self-esteem. I know that it's hard to break it off with someone that you care about, but it's in your best interest to get away from her. Without getting too out of line, nice women like wild sex, too and you can find a woman that will treat you right. I know it's hard to break up with AP and I haven't been able to yet, but my feelings for him have lessened a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
wanderingxsoulz Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 My MM was emotionally manipulative and really good at it too. Yet there was no need for him to be. I was at that point where he could do almost no wrong in my eyes. I would have done anything for him and let him get away with anything because I loved him and didn't want to spoil what we had. Time between us was scarce enough without wasting it on fights and arguments. I used to always wonder why he was really good at emotional manipulation or if it was because I am weak. What finally did it for me was when I had been upset over something about our relationship. It was the first time I had directly expressed unhappiness over something in front of him. Instead of comforting me or explaining himself (I would have willingly believed his lies as usual even if I knew it was a lie.. If that makes sense), he evaded the issue and ignored my questions. Basically he also made it look like it was all my imagination and that I was the one who did something wrong. The line that did it was, "If you think that way, then the feeling is different already." I was incredulous and my mind registered it as a threat. Emotional blackmail. Did I think what I thought he meant? That his feelings could change at a whim depending on what I believed? Maybe I'd misunderstood.. I'll never know since I never asked him. Not that it matters. It made me realise how emotionally manipulative he actually is and I left him several days after that conversation. Instead of stringing me along, he only managed to push me away further. I didn't understand why he saw the need to do what he did. I was so emotionally invested that he could have just fed me some bull****. I was always there without complaint and never gave him any pressure or problems. I accepted what lotroe he could offer. Why did he have to do this to me? I don't get it. But oh well. g Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedKyle Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Yeah, near the end of mine I brought up how I could never call her, and instead of comforting me, she told me things along 'don't think you are the only one making sacrifices here' and generally ignored my problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 You dodged a bullet. You should be thankful that she's married and you don't have to be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedKyle Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Any help on how to get over how addicting the abuse was? She would beat me down, and a few days later tell me how wonderful I was. Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Any help on how to get over how addicting the abuse was? She would beat me down, and a few days later tell me how wonderful I was. Just don't have anything more to do with her and find someone that will treat you consistently well. You can do better than her. Link to post Share on other sites
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