serenademe Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 All right. I have a friendship / professional relationship with a guy. We'll call him Ryan. Ryan and I have known each other for a couple of years. We play in a band together. When I first met him I developed a small crush almost instantly. But upon finding out he was in a relationship, I got over it. I'd still be aware of when we were alone together, and find myself checking him out once in awhile, but in my mind he was off-limits and I could deal with that. I've never been super comfortable around his SO, because I'm the only female in our group, and she must worry about him spending time with me. My feelings for Ryan over the years have been mostly feelings of respect and admiration. I managed to forget most of the romantic feelings, and just appreciate him as a person, and the contributions he makes to our group. He's great at what he does, and he thinks like I do, which makes working with him a blast. He's someone I look up to. Now, something changed about a week ago. He texted me and asked if I had a certain chat program. I told him I did, and we added each other. Since then we've been talking almost non-stop. He told me when he did something his girlfriend wouldn't approve of. He told me how he really felt about one of the guys in the group (things not going well in that department). We've discussed our frustrations, dreams, and fears as they relate to the band. He's talking to me to the point that I know it's interfering with his job. We spend at least half the time during the day talking to each other. I'm not worried about his work; I know he's finding a way to stay productive, but it's surprising to me to see my friend who is usually so focused and driven distracted by, well, me. After this happened a few days, I couldn't get him off my mind. I was suddenly, for lack of a better word, lovestruck. But everything's been 100% clean. He's treating me like a friend, just...speaking often. I won't pursue anything romantic no matter how crazy this is driving me, because he's with someone else. But I can't eat, sleep, or focus, because he's all I can think about. A switch suddenly flipped in my head, bringing him from friend to someone I care deeply about. I know I can't have him, and it sucks, but that's life. But what could he be thinking? Am I reading too much into this? Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 He is obviously interested in you it he's spending that much time with you, texting, whatever. You have to decide where to take this. What is his current relationship? Is he in a committed relationship, or is it going south? What is he looking for and what would you be looking for? You have to decide how far to take this, but I'd bet that if your want him, he's available.... but the terms are what's unknown for now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Do not start any physical relationship with him until he parts company with his gf. If you do, you will hate yourself for it later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OldRover Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 serenademe, Any update? Link to post Share on other sites
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