D Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 I broke up with my girl about 2 months ago. The main reason: Sex - I could not maintain erection. I got together with 2 other girls since her, and no problem in that regard. I am so pissed off, that it did not work with the person I was so much in love with, and it worked with the girls, that I had just met. Life is so ironic!!! It's sad how things keep happening against our will. Now I believe more and more in the idea that what's not meant to happen, won't happen, no matter how much we want it to happen. Have you heard or experienced this kind of a thing before in life??? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 Either there was some sort of biological situation going on at the time you were seeing your ex or you may have some psychological problems associated with intimacy or fears. If you were on some sort of medication, if you were under stress, etc. at the time you were with your ex, these things could have affected your ability to have an erection. If there were no extenuating medical or stress related circumstances going on at the time and you are capable of maintaining an erection with women with whom you share minimal experience, several things could have been happening before. You could have been so anxious to have your sexual experience with the girl you loved so much be satisfactory that you just couldn't get an erection. That does happen, not only with sex but with lots of other things. There could be other deep psychological reasons why you feared having an intimate relationship with the one you loved. Perhaps you were afraid you would somehow lose her at some point. There would have been a significant reason for this type of selective performance anxiety and impotence. Did a girl you loved in the past put you down sexually or in other ways? This could have had an effect here. The best thing you can do is see a medical doctor and get checked out thoroughly...like a full physical examination. Then, if all goes well which I feel it will, describe what happened to a competent psychotherapist or counsellor. You certainly don't want this to happen again with someone you love. Link to post Share on other sites
D Posted March 23, 2001 Share Posted March 23, 2001 I dont' know Tony. I was kind of nervous all the time when we would try intercourse, who would not be, knowing that they failed. But she did not pressure me in any way. It just did not work, and I was so pissed. The girls I had met since, were one night stands. TO tell you the truth, I was little nervous with them too, thinking of the past failures, but for some reason, it worked fine. Go figure Either there was some sort of biological situation going on at the time you were seeing your ex or you may have some psychological problems associated with intimacy or fears. If you were on some sort of medication, if you were under stress, etc. at the time you were with your ex, these things could have affected your ability to have an erection. If there were no extenuating medical or stress related circumstances going on at the time and you are capable of maintaining an erection with women with whom you share minimal experience, several things could have been happening before. You could have been so anxious to have your sexual experience with the girl you loved so much be satisfactory that you just couldn't get an erection. That does happen, not only with sex but with lots of other things. There could be other deep psychological reasons why you feared having an intimate relationship with the one you loved. Perhaps you were afraid you would somehow lose her at some point. There would have been a significant reason for this type of selective performance anxiety and impotence. Did a girl you loved in the past put you down sexually or in other ways? This could have had an effect here. The best thing you can do is see a medical doctor and get checked out thoroughly...like a full physical examination. Then, if all goes well which I feel it will, describe what happened to a competent psychotherapist or counsellor. You certainly don't want this to happen again with someone you love. Link to post Share on other sites
WGirl Posted March 24, 2001 Share Posted March 24, 2001 Not the erection part of course. It seems like everything I have wanted has eluded me for one reason or another. Either my timing, luck or circumstances are bad. Someday, I keep saying. I broke up with my girl about 2 months ago. The main reason: Sex - I could not maintain erection. I got together with 2 other girls since her, and no problem in that regard. I am so pissed off, that it did not work with the person I was so much in love with, and it worked with the girls, that I had just met. Life is so ironic!!! It's sad how things keep happening against our will. Now I believe more and more in the idea that what's not meant to happen, won't happen, no matter how much we want it to happen. Have you heard or experienced this kind of a thing before in life??? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted March 25, 2001 Share Posted March 25, 2001 It seems like everything I have wanted has eluded me for one reason or another. Either my timing, luck or circumstances are bad. Someday, I keep saying. i know that feeling wgirl. it's a pain in the butt when you know that if you want a particular thing you have to aim to get it, and when you do, it doesn't last for some reason. but like you, i refuse to become a pessimist - "someday", i keep saying myself Link to post Share on other sites
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