What do you think?

[pops]

Here is the story,

 

Been in a serious relationship for about 2 years. We were engaged and live together for over 8 months. We had our share of arguments, but nothing really major. Suddenly this year, since Jan., she has gone on sabbaticals, meaning she goes back home or so she says for 1 week, or 2 weeks at at time. At first, I figured she was just visiting her parents and it was her winter break. But then, she goes to college, and she said, I'm going for the weekend, ok, well, i get home from work on friday nights, she is gone already, her family lives about 2 hours away. So i sat and watched tv for the entire weekend, or washed my car, etc. She called, usually late at night and asked am i going out, and it seemed she was sort of upset that i wasn't. Anyway, it wasn't bad until this happened every other week, and then she started missing college and work, where she was visiting her parents for only for a weekend turned into a week, a week and a half. And she constantly kept seeming, to me anyway, dissappointed that i wasn't going out when she was up there. Anyway, one weekend, I went out with my friends and she got pissed.... I GOT TIRED OF SITTING AT HOME EVERY WEEKEND............. She threw a guilt trip about her just visiting her parents and friends and doing nothing at all but watching tv... Then i went up with her one weekend and one of her friends blurted out about some party they went to. I wouldn't have minded if she told me, see i've read some of these posts where honesty isn't always the best policy... Belive me, people usually find things out and by you not telling will only be worse in the end...... Anyway, she still denied it and then finally admitted it, i was pissed but go over it, sort of... ANyway i started going out more, i was tired of sitting home all the time if she wasn't going to be there. Then one weekend i visited one of my friends, who lives 4 hours away in the city. She was gone before I got home that weekend again. Anyway, i had every opportunity to do anything i wanted, my friends were even dissappointed cause i did nothing. Didn't bother me at all. Came home the next afternoon and she was still away at her family. I had off a monday, we were suppose to do something, she never came home, made an excuse, came home a week later. And she just kept lying and lying and lying. Small lies, but they started to take a toll. She came back and i still loved her but felt different. I treated her mean. Like i would ignore her sometimes and be mad if she didn't do something. ANyway one weekend we hung out for dinner and movies, came back, and my friends wanted to go out, she said she didn't, and i went out. She got pissed and held a grudge against me. ANd arguments got worse cause i kept saying YOU GO AWAY FOR A WEEK OR TWO, i went out ONE FREAKING NIGHT. So one day she tore my head off cause my dad was mad at her. I defended her and she tore my head off, i was pissed but calm. She left again....... Well, we went to lunch first, but she couldn't drive to my work, to far, so i drove home, and had to work late cause of it, ok whatever, anyway, she drives like 20 min past my work later, and then 2 hours and 20 min the other way back to her families.... SHe must have called me this and that to her family cause they told her to move back with them and get rid of me.. Me, the one who went out of the way doing stuff for her family for the first year and a half, and then i got a new career and good job, i couldn't do as much, they became jealous or something. Anyway, she didn't work, cook, or clean, just go to college, which was ok, until i find out she quit college. but anyway, i told her maybe she should stay up there, i was pissed, said some stupid things, and then didn't here nothing for 3 days. Then i called her, breaking down, saying i was sorry, and that we should get back together, come back to live with me, she was the one who I was going to spend the rest of my life with, i loved her with all my heart. And then we were cool, she was coming back home, with me, on the weekend. And then she calls me at work, where i can't argue, and can't NOT answer the phone, she tears my head off because it continue the RELATIONSHIP she wanted me to TALK TO HER MOM FIRST and blah blah. I asked her what does she want to do and she said , THAT ME, I, would have to talk to her MOM before we get back together. I don't not get along with her mom, but her mom is not trustworthy. But i agreed, i have to work saturday, i'll come up sunday, since she wanted to see me and not talk on the phone to her mom. Well, next day, she calls, after we cooled things off, and she TORE MY HEAD OFF. SHe said she will never live with me and she doesn't know how we could go out cause, i don't know what cause. In all honesty, i never wanted to hurt somebody more. She just said stuff, and stuff, and basically said she hates my family, who treated her like a daughter, hates me, and her family wants to kill me. And knowing her relationship as MISS PRINCESS to her entire family and relatives, i did feel threatened and deeply hurt. Why would she do that.

 

SO i took all her stuff and drove to her families house and dropped it off, she wasn't there. I brought one of my closest friends, cause I didn't want to drive that far by myself, and the fact that her family wanted to do something to me. Then a few days, nothing, finally at work she calls me, she tears me a new you know what blah blah, and i guess you made your decision and why did you come up unannounced and to me, HER FAMILY WAS WAITING TO DO SOMETHING. Cause when I dropped her stuff off at her families, 2 people from her family, obviously surprise were waiting for me to do something. I dropped her stuff off and left, not really being able to say anything. Then she says if she saw me there she would have punched me in the face. Whatever, she wsa pissed. Cause I did not want to be in limbo. I brought her stuff up, to not end it, but not get left in i don't know, talk to blah blah, and excuse after excuse. then she keeps calling me at work and yelling, finally i hung up on her. And then now she says how am i, and she cares. I told her when she asked that right now i can't trust her, maybe in a few weeks or months. I never loved her anyway she says. THen her father calls and asks to pay her bill for her phone, 1000 bucks, and i've seen her not once in the past 3 weeks, and very little over the past 3-4 months. Yeah it's my bills. But i still am thinking of paying it, just, i don't know. THE SADDEST THING IS, the beginning of the week, i would have taken her back, but as of now, NEVER. She and her family have gone psycho, she has tried to entice me, piss me off and everything, but i have remained calm, hurt, but calm. I just don't know where it came from? and the worst thing is,

 

I AM TIRED OF HEARING HOW GIRLS GET HURT AND GUYS ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY and evil, cause sometimes girls aren't that good either. I just don't know...

 

don't know..........

[pops]

the cell phone, probably sounds like it mine, it's not my bill, i was making a sarcastic remark, like YEAH, it's really my bill.

 

Sorry for those confused,

 

still don't know..............

[Paulie]

Here is the story,

 

Been in a serious relationship for about 2 years. We were engaged and live together for over 8 months. We had our share of arguments, but nothing really major. Suddenly this year, since Jan., she has gone on sabbaticals, meaning she goes back home or so she says for 1 week, or 2 weeks at at time.

 

At first, I figured she was just visiting her parents and it was her winter break. But then, she goes to college, and she said, I'm going for the weekend, ok, well, i get home from work on friday nights, she is gone already, her family lives about 2 hours away. So i sat and watched tv for the entire weekend, or washed my car, etc. She called, usually late at night and asked am i going out, and it seemed she was sort of upset that i wasn't.

 

Anyway, it wasn't bad until this happened every other week, and then she started missing college and work, where she was visiting her parents for only for a weekend turned into a week, a week and a half. And she constantly kept seeming, to me anyway, dissappointed that i wasn't going out when she was up there. Anyway, one weekend, I went out with my friends and she got pissed.... I GOT TIRED OF SITTING AT HOME EVERY WEEKEND............. She threw a guilt trip about her just visiting her parents and friends and doing nothing at all but watching tv... Then i went up with her one weekend and one of her friends blurted out about some party they went to.

 

I wouldn't have minded if she told me, see i've read some of these posts where honesty isn't always the best policy... Belive me, people usually find things out and by you not telling will only be worse in the end...... Anyway, she still denied it and then finally admitted it, i was pissed but go over it, sort of... ANyway i started going out more, i was tired of sitting home all the time if she wasn't going to be there. Then one weekend i visited one of my friends, who lives 4 hours away in the city. She was gone before I got home that weekend again. Anyway, i had every opportunity to do anything i wanted, my friends were even dissappointed cause i did nothing. Didn't bother me at all. Came home the next afternoon and she was still away at her family.

 

I had off a monday, we were suppose to do something, she never came home, made an excuse, came home a week later. And she just kept lying and lying and lying. Small lies, but they started to take a toll. She came back and i still loved her but felt different. I treated her mean. Like i would ignore her sometimes and be mad if she didn't do something.

 

ANyway one weekend we hung out for dinner and movies, came back, and my friends wanted to go out, she said she didn't, and i went out. She got pissed and held a grudge against me. ANd arguments got worse cause i kept saying YOU GO AWAY FOR A WEEK OR TWO, i went out ONE FREAKING NIGHT. So one day she tore my head off cause my dad was mad at her. I defended her and she tore my head off, i was pissed but calm.

 

She left again....... Well, we went to lunch first, but she couldn't drive to my work, to far, so i drove home, and had to work late cause of it, ok whatever, anyway, she drives like 20 min past my work later, and then 2 hours and 20 min the other way back to her families.... SHe must have called me this and that to her family cause they told her to move back with them and get rid of me.. Me, the one who went out of the way doing stuff for her family for the first year and a half, and then i got a new career and good job, i couldn't do as much, they became jealous or something.

 

Anyway, she didn't work, cook, or clean, just go to college, which was ok, until i find out she quit college. but anyway, i told her maybe she should stay up there, i was pissed, said some stupid things, and then didn't here nothing for 3 days. Then i called her, breaking down, saying i was sorry, and that we should get back together, come back to live with me, she was the one who I was going to spend the rest of my life with, i loved her with all my heart. And then we were cool, she was coming back home, with me, on the weekend. And then she calls me at work, where i can't argue, and can't NOT answer the phone, she tears my head off because it continue the RELATIONSHIP she wanted me to TALK TO HER MOM FIRST and blah blah.

 

I asked her what does she want to do and she said , THAT ME, I, would have to talk to her MOM before we get back together. I don't not get along with her mom, but her mom is not trustworthy. But i agreed, i have to work saturday, i'll come up sunday, since she wanted to see me and not talk on the phone to her mom.

 

Well, next day, she calls, after we cooled things off, and she TORE MY HEAD OFF. SHe said she will never live with me and she doesn't know how we could go out cause, i don't know what cause. In all honesty, i never wanted to hurt somebody more. She just said stuff, and stuff, and basically said she hates my family, who treated her like a daughter, hates me, and her family wants to kill me. And knowing her relationship as MISS PRINCESS to her entire family and relatives, i did feel threatened and deeply hurt. Why would she do that.

 

SO i took all her stuff and drove to her families house and dropped it off, she wasn't there. I brought one of my closest friends, cause I didn't want to drive that far by myself, and the fact that her family wanted to do something to me. Then a few days, nothing, finally at work she calls me, she tears me a new you know what blah blah, and i guess you made your decision and why did you come up unannounced and to me, HER FAMILY WAS WAITING TO DO SOMETHING. Cause when I dropped her stuff off at her families, 2 people from her family, obviously surprise were waiting for me to do something.

 

I dropped her stuff off and left, not really being able to say anything. Then she says if she saw me there she would have punched me in the face. Whatever, she wsa pissed. Cause I did not want to be in limbo. I brought her stuff up, to not end it, but not get left in i don't know, talk to blah blah, and excuse after excuse. then she keeps calling me at work and yelling, finally i hung up on her. And then now she says how am i, and she cares.

 

I told her when she asked that right now i can't trust her, maybe in a few weeks or months. I never loved her anyway she says. THen her father calls and asks to pay her bill for her phone, 1000 bucks, and i've seen her not once in the past 3 weeks, and very little over the past 3-4 months. Yeah it's my bills. But i still am thinking of paying it, just, i don't know.

 

THE SADDEST THING IS, the beginning of the week, i would have taken her back, but as of now, NEVER. She and her family have gone psycho, she has tried to entice me, piss me off and everything, but i have remained calm, hurt, but calm. I just don't know where it came from? and the worst thing is,

 

I AM TIRED OF HEARING HOW GIRLS GET HURT AND GUYS ARE UNTRUSTWORTHY and evil, cause sometimes girls aren't that good either. I just don't know...

 

don't know..........

[Paulie]

Yes, sometimes on this site, we've advocated that people keep quiet about little indiscretions that they may have had at one point or another.

 

But this is different.

 

This lame girl is using you, establishing a pattern of lying continually, and God knows what else. Any time we've advocated that somebody keep something to themselves was where there was a genuine concern for the other, and we didn't see any reason to take the guilt off one person and place it on the other in the form of pain.

 

This case is different because in my mind, this girl has absolutely no regard for you, or your feelings. And you're being a sucker for falling for her CRAP.

 

What ARE you getting out of this "relationship?"

 

You ought to drop this chickie like the MIR in the south Pacific!

 

Paulie

[Sally]

Well, you're right about this girl being unbalanced. Just understand that this girl is a compulsive lier and she's lying to you and her family. Her family only knows what she's telling them. I had a roommate once who told me about all the horrible things her boyfriend did to her, including hitting her and calling her a whore, etc. She even put a restraining order on him. 3 months later she was back with him. She got mad at me and my other roommate, because we were against their reunion and wouldn't allow him in the house. We only knew what she was telling us about him, so naturally we were on her side. All along, it was her that was unbalanced. It was easier to figure it out, because she's not family.

 

This is a no win situation for you. You sound like a really nice and caring guy. It sounds like you've tried your hardest to make it work, and she has taken you for granted and even went so far as to control what you've done on the weekend - while she's out partying. I'm a girl and believe me, there are lots of us out there who will appreciate a guy like you. Don't waste your time on her. I know it's killing you right now, but over time you'll realize what a freak she is (even though you already know), it will still take a while before you'll fully believe it. This girl is in no way healthy for you and it may be a long while before it will finally REALLY set in your head. Just keep replaying the events over and over again in your head until you finally really do never want to be with her again.

 

Hang in there and I wish you the best of luck.

[Sally]

Oh yeah...and don't you dare pay that bill.

[Laurynn]

Hi there,

 

As much as you probably hurt right now, I hope you soon realize that you are MUCH better off without your ex.

 

You have put up with more than most people would put up with. The fact that she left you so many weekends in a row, for extended periods of time...how RUDE! That's not a relationship when you're never together.

 

And I hate to break it to you, but I have a really hard time believing that all these trips were to 'see her family'......I'd be more inclined to think that she'd met some other guy back home, and was seeing him behind your back. That's definitely what it looks like to me.

 

And how selfish and immature of her, to freak on you becuz you went out with your friends for one night, when she was basically p*ssing off and leaving you by yourself, weekend after weekend. I guess she doesn't like it when the tables are turned.

 

I'm sorry that you've gone through all this. Maybe someday she'll grow up and get her head out from up her butt, but I wouldn't count on it happening any time soon.

 

You deserve someone who will treat you with love, and respect....and someone who wants to spend their time with you...not someone who lies, and leaves every weekend.

 

Stay strong, don't have any more contact with her. If she continues to harass you at work (calling you there), tell her that if she continues to do so, you'll get a restraining order and that she's harassing you.

 

L

[Laurynn]

You mean her Dad called you up and asked YOU to pay HER $1000 cell phone bill?

 

L