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How to deal with boyfriend's old photos?


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yellowhibiscus

I have pictures of my ex stored away in my house as well as pictures on my computer and phone. It doesn't mean in any way that I want to be with that person. It was one portion of my life and of my son's life. I don't look at them, they are just there and I wouldn't expect any other man who comes into my life to ask me to get rid of them. I think it is unreasonable to ask him to delete everything. If he is committed to you, you need to trust that he wants to be with you. You have no other evidence that would suggest otherwise. Now, if he was texting or talking to that person, then I would be concerned.

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Are they nude photos?

 

If not, try to relax. We all have pasts and people we've cared about (both friends and lovers). Him keeping a folder of photos doesn't mean he doesn't care for you. It doesn't mean he wants to be with any exes.

 

I have photos of exes on my social media accounts (none are more than a friendly pose) and I won't delete them for anyone. Know why? Because it's part of my past and any man who demands I delete them is very insecure and possibly controlling.

 

Why do they make you uncomfortable?

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I would most definitely keep it and my husband would not care in the least and would want to drive it all the time. That's just us.

 

We are just different. Yet for the sake of random and middle ground if ex got you a really nice bed, some expensive fetish wear, and a sex chair...would husband be comfortable with that? I know extreme example, just everyone has limits...hence extreme example. Would he be cool if you wanted to use engagement ring and amazing wedding dress and tux from ex husband in New wedding. Would he be excited about a box of pictures of former lovers and make sure they are placed in a firesafe so nothing could happen to the wonderful photos that fill his heart with joy.

 

Past isn't important to me, if was would be my future. I figure why keep things that only exist from a failed path. I don't need a box of memory triggers, when my future is better and phantoms are dead. What fun good times are there to reflect on when with best person encountered in life. I feel people waste time here and now with story's of past being recycled without end as if have any relevance.

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The past was once your future, and the future will become your past, so to deny one is to deny the other.

 

The paradox of a relationship. My past is inverted so can go deeper into future each time. Past was only good for discovering what doesn't work and really want. In under a year after divorce I was married, in a resort town, broke ground on a mountain, built cabin, got new car. Now two years later I'm at the point of helping others again. These were all new experiences for wife and I, no shoebox of failures required. Logical deductions, risk and reward, delayed gratification is what moved things forward. I've always been me, I've only been slightly distracted by those not on the same page.

 

Yet if gonna bring it down to brainy quote Facebook update there is one that goes...

 

 

When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

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