slimjim666 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Just need to get this of my chest, not eaten or slept properly for 10 days or so. Been married to my wife for 2 years, was on a lads night out and ended up going back with a random girl. I feel like the biggest scumbag on earth and cannot stop worrying about contracting anything, even though there is zero evidence that the girl had anything. Not to seem melodramatic but I was ready to drive off a bridge on the way home today. I havn't told my wife about it and i don't think I plan to, a stupid mistake I want to put behind me. Does anyone know any good reasons not to have sex till my tests are complete. :(:( Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 If you are looking for people to help you brainstorm ways to deceive your wife....I sure hope no one here will do that Link to post Share on other sites
Author slimjim666 Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 In no way do i want to decieve my wife, just trying to make things go as smooth as i can make them. Again not looking to be a sh*thead just want to try and make things go back the way they were. Dont want to offen either sorry Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 (edited) You very much need to get to the bottom of why you had sex with someone else. Otherwise, it is likely to happen again. You may need to do follow-up tests after a period of months as well, as some STIs have an incubation period and may not show up immediately after contact. Have you spoken to your doctor about this? They can give you more information. Also, do you know if the other woman was using some type of contraceptive? (I'm guessing you didn't use a condom) And you're kidding yourself if you think you can just smooth this over and that everything will return to normal. Your wife is going to sense that something isn't right. Your distress won't go unnoticed, if your having that much trouble sleeping and eating. We ladies have strong intuition when something is amiss with our men. I don't know how you expect to brush this under the rug. FYI: Please don't assume that because you cannot visibly see symptoms of STIs/HIV that someone isn't a carrier. That is awfully naive and uninformed. Edited September 2, 2015 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Just need to get this of my chest, not eaten or slept properly for 10 days or so. Been married to my wife for 2 years, was on a lads night out and ended up going back with a random girl. I feel like the biggest scumbag on earth and cannot stop worrying about contracting anything, even though there is zero evidence that the girl had anything. Not to seem melodramatic but I was ready to drive off a bridge on the way home today. I havn't told my wife about it and i don't think I plan to, a stupid mistake I want to put behind me. Does anyone know any good reasons not to have sex till my tests are complete. :(:( You cannot make things go back to the way they were. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for our actions and accepting the consequences for them. What you did is not a "mistake". A mistake is picking up the wrong bread at the store. A Coward calls it a mistake, and you are a coward. You not only acted out of complete selfishness, you put your own health as well as your wife's health at risk Stop minimizing this, you sound like a pussy. Tell your wife, and be man enough to accept the consequences. You lost the right to determine the future of your relationship the second you stuck your dick in another woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Qboro90 Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 In no way do i want to decieve my wife, just trying to make things go as smooth as i can make them. Again not looking to be a sh*thead just want to try and make things go back the way they were. Dont want to offen either sorry Start saying that you don't feel well and you don't know what the heck it is. "I don't know what's going on, i keep getting these intense pains in my abdomen or everyday for the last week I've been getting insane headaches. I've never had a migraine before but I can't think it's anything else...when I stood up to get lunch today I thought I was going to pass out, the floor was uneven it felt.". Then keep bringing it up and going to bed early until your test results come back. Can even tell your wife that youre going to the doctors on Friday because you can't go another week like this. That'll buy you time. Apologize if she wants to have sex or initiates. "Babe I really freaking want to but I feel like I'm gonna get sick if I get up right now, in sorry just let me see what the doc says and hopefully it's nothing serious" . Or on the nights you know you're both free and likely to have sex, schedule a dinner or date out together or with friends or have friends over. Then just pass out once you get home and avoid sex..I hope you have already went and got tested and haven't wasted any more time. And yes you're a scumbag. Feel like one myself for giving you advice on how to lie to your wife until you find out you're clean but odds are no one else will so I'm playing devils advocate simply for the fact that this site is an unbiased forum so who am I to lecture you on your behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
travelbug1996 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Start saying that you don't feel well and you don't know what the heck it is. "I don't know what's going on, i keep getting these intense pains in my abdomen or everyday for the last week I've been getting insane headaches. I've never had a migraine before but I can't think it's anything else...when I stood up to get lunch today I thought I was going to pass out, the floor was uneven it felt.". Then keep bringing it up and going to bed early until your test results come back. Can even tell your wife that youre going to the doctors on Friday because you can't go another week like this. That'll buy you time. Apologize if she wants to have sex or initiates. "Babe I really freaking want to but I feel like I'm gonna get sick if I get up right now, in sorry just let me see what the doc says and hopefully it's nothing serious" . Or on the nights you know you're both free and likely to have sex, schedule a dinner or date out together or with friends or have friends over. Then just pass out once you get home and avoid sex..I hope you have already went and got tested and haven't wasted any more time. And yes you're a scumbag. Feel like one myself for giving you advice on how to lie to your wife until you find out you're clean but odds are no one else will so I'm playing devils advocate simply for the fact that this site is an unbiased forum so who am I to lecture you on your behavior. This won't work since it takes 3 months until a clear but not positive HIV free test comes back. Dude, I honestly can't give you any advice except honesty is the best policy. Why did you cheat on your girl? Was she not putting out. Is the sex wack? Are you just not attracted to her? You effed up. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Start saying that you don't feel well and you don't know what the heck it is. "I don't know what's going on, i keep getting these intense pains in my abdomen or everyday for the last week I've been getting insane headaches. I've never had a migraine before but I can't think it's anything else...when I stood up to get lunch today I thought I was going to pass out, the floor was uneven it felt.". Then keep bringing it up and going to bed early until your test results come back. Can even tell your wife that youre going to the doctors on Friday because you can't go another week like this. That'll buy you time. Apologize if she wants to have sex or initiates. "Babe I really freaking want to but I feel like I'm gonna get sick if I get up right now, in sorry just let me see what the doc says and hopefully it's nothing serious" . Or on the nights you know you're both free and likely to have sex, schedule a dinner or date out together or with friends or have friends over. Then just pass out once you get home and avoid sex..I hope you have already went and got tested and haven't wasted any more time. And yes you're a scumbag. Feel like one myself for giving you advice on how to lie to your wife until you find out you're clean but odds are no one else will so I'm playing devils advocate simply for the fact that this site is an unbiased forum so who am I to lecture you on your behavior. Wow....someone actually DID step up to help him lie. My faith in humanity is somewhat soured for the evening. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Wow....someone actually DID step up to help him lie. My faith in humanity is somewhat soured for the evening. Don't worry , the closer we get to the holidays the more chances to lose all faith in the human race will multiply. Christmas and New Years' Eve are the stuff of legendary skullduggery around these parts. You'll hear "I don't know why I did it" so many times you will be mumbling it in your sleep lol Link to post Share on other sites
zip7682 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 (edited) I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation. It is obvious by your comments that you love your wife and want to stay with her, and ensure you don’t endanger her by the actions you took. You might consider counseling with her, to continue to maintain an honest relationship (which is so important for your marriage) and to discuss ‘what comes next’ now that this has occurred. Conversely, you could get counseling on your own, to determine your next step and the best time and way to discuss this issue with her (with or without a counselor present). I hope this helps, and be assured I will be praying that you will have both the wisdom and guidance to know what to do next. Your marriage is worth fighting for, and I know you want the best for both yourself and your wife. Edited September 3, 2015 by zip7682 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 After only two years of marriage, you had unprotected sex with a stranger without batting an eye. Pack your stuff up and leave your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
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