Ladies would you date someone younger, guys would you date older? how much?

[down hearted]

So i was having this conversation with some coworkers, for guys its obviously the norm to date women younger than they are. For ladies, if you date younger, your the cougar etc. Personally, i wouldn't be able to date anyone younger than me unless they are like a year or 2 at most younger. I just dont find the attraction. One of my coworkers who is in her mid 50s says its weird to her because now for example in magazines seen hot guys to her its like looking at her son, the attraction is no longer there. I'm 28, i have been told i look the oldest 22, most people assume i am in my early 20s because i don't look older.

 

As we age, so does our senses obviously and attraction sometimes change with us. (i think i saw a documentary on that on netflix lol) anyway, the older i get the least attracted i am to younger guys. I know many say age is not a factor that determines the relationship, but to me age does influence it, i honestly do not see myself dating a guy who is 19 or even 21 for that matter its just weird to me speaking for myself that is.

 

So i was talking to one of my coworkers he is 23, he told me that age is not a big deal, that he would most definitely date older and that he would definitely date me if it were him with the age difference, We came to this conversation because we were trying to figure out what age is one of our coworkers and i was told possibly 21 but he looks at least 27. I was just curious to see what everyone thinks about the norm for age when it comes to relationships regarding each gender.

 

So ladies, i was wondering what is your opinion on this, would you date younger guys? If so how young? How about men, would you date older, how old?

[todreaminblue]

the last guy i dated was a couple of years younger than me......i think if i saw maturity in a guy and he was a kind compassionate gentle guy it wouldnt matter how old he was ....not in his twenties though......my life experiences are hard for a man to handle and i feel if a guy has age he has experience .......that might not be like mine but he may be more understanding..so as far as guys go....i normally stick around my age group....as friends first....and then i can find out if his maturity and experiences match the age.......before i go further.........deb

[Knight23]

22 years old over here, and yes, I would date an older woman. My last serious relationship was with a woman 9 years my senior.

 

I can't exactly pin point an age gap, but it's really all about maturity for me. I've still got a lot of growing up to do mind you, but I've had trouble making conversation with women younger than me.

 

Teenagers can be old souls, but quite a few of them aren't. My first love was actually younger than myself, but she was...something else haha.

 

I just want an actual conversation once in a while. I get bored otherwise.

[Gloria25]

I've seemed to date guys my age or older...even from when I was a teen

 

Why?

 

I believe cuz I preferred someone with experience.

 

Now, as I'm approaching 40, I would date a younger guy, but not like younger than 28..cuz, I get sick and tired of people saying the whole "he/she is mature for his/her age" crap. I mean, I from my tweens, teens, 20's - considered myself mature over others in my age group, but still you can't make up for life experiences someone younger just doesn't have yet.

 

Also, mature or not, people within certain age groups/gaps are in totally different phases of life, maturity, experience, etc. Like a guy in his 20's is probably gonna be into jackhammer sex - while an experienced guy in his late 20's and so on is gonna wanna take their time and enjoy the sex...not just use you like a beat-off object with a pulse that he can insert penis into.

 

Also, what kind of convos/things in common would you have with someone significantly younger? A while back (I think I went to see the 1st Avengers) I was in line for the movies and two college kids (guy and gal) were just "talking" and so much nonsense came out of their mouths that I just wanted to slap them.

 

I also just don't get the whole "boy toy" thing some cougars got going on...I don't want a "toy"...I want a man.

[Siquijor]

When I was 33 I dated a 44 year old and my long term ex was three years older than me. I don't always date older women but I do find maturity is a big plus whereas immaturity can be a turn-off.

[Dolfin80]

The last guy I saw was 30 but he looked 40. I'm 35 but I look 25.

 

Age doesn't man anything lol

[d0nnivain]

I didn't date younger when I was younger. DH is 5 years younger than me & the only younger man I ever dated. My dad was 4 years younger than my mom. SIL is 7 years older then her husband.

 

 

The older you get, the more age is just a number.

[Frank2thepoint]

I'm an open minded man. The oldest woman I ever dated is 5 years my senior. But I have been interested in women that are 10 years older. I've noticed the older I get, the less I am interested in a younger woman, meaning much younger than me. I think my cut off would be about 6 - 8 years junior to me. I need to be with a woman that at least remembers the 80s.

[blackcat777]

I'm currently enjoying the best LTR of my life... with a guy about nine years younger.

 

I was NEVER looking to meet anyone younger, and we met by chance. I thought he looked older... he thought I looked younger... we clicked in the deepest way...

 

I'll still never forget when I told him what year I was born and the face he made--like if he had been drinking something, he would have spit it everywhere.

 

We finish each other's sentences. I don't want to think about kids for another decade.

 

My boyfriend holds his own and acts like a man. He has his own place, and he manages all the bills, etc. for the other guys he shares it with. I've always been into health and longevity, and now I'm even more motivated.

 

I only notice the maturity gap when dealing with his friends. Most of the times, it's endearing, and reminds me not to take life so seriously.

 

We did have a GIGS-style breakup... which, for a lot of relationships with a very young partner (18-25)... I think this scenario is the biggest possible risk for the dating younger situation. We took some time apart, I cut off all contact. He came back and is over the top committed to me, but it took time apart and other experiences for him to decide that staying with me is what he wants. I am ultimately glad it happened now and not later, and that it allowed him to make a more informed decision about being with me, so he didn't grow to resent me or question what else was out there.

 

I STRONGLY SUSPECT most younger guys on dating sites are totally looking for the experienced woman and cougar/cub situation.

 

But, sometimes love happens. I never expected to date a younger man (I've always dug older guys...), but I kept an open mind and I'm enjoying the most beautiful relationship of my life. If your life phase goals match (when to have kids), I'd say, why not?

 

I love that I get to be the one to introduce my man to movies like Demolition Man and Dune. All the greatness that came out of the 80's... he has no idea about.

[Gloria25]

I didn't date younger when I was younger. DH is 5 years younger than me & the only younger man I ever dated. My dad was 4 years younger than my mom. SIL is 7 years older then her husband.

 

 

The older you get, the more age is just a number.

 

Yeah, but 35/30 is not the same thing as 30/25...A 25 yr old is still gonna be in a "growing up" phase, especially if he's a male. Males seem to mature later than women.

 

And 35/30 is not the same as 55/60. Cuz 60 is coming up upon retirement, while 55 might still be doing his/her career and not wanting to slow down.

 

And, worst when there's a significant age gap....Again, 30/20 is not the same as 40/30 cuz a 20 yr old is barely leaving "teenage world"

[baco]

At 28 I had a relationship with a 38 yo, I don't think age was a factor in our break up, I have to admit that I never felt really confortable around her friends, most were in their 40's, but other than that age was not a problem.

[RecentChange]

I think as you get older, age gaps matter less.

 

When I was in my early 20's, I wouldn't consider anyone more than a year or two younger than me. Once I was 21 - they had to be 21 or over as well! At 28, I am with you, I would have considered a 20 year old a baby. I didn't go for "old" either though, oldest I dated was a 30 year old when I was 23 - and the age gap felt weird (I was still a college kid - he was an "adult")

 

Well.... Now I am the ripe old age of 37! And I would date younger now.... Recently hooked up with a 28 year old, and I do not see a 9 year age gap as a big deal. Both of us are well settled into "adult hood" yet not "old"

 

So 9 years between late 20's and late 30's - eh. 9 years between late TEENS and early 20's - thats a big gap - lots of life changes happen during those years.

 

And like you I have consistently looked young for my age (used to get accused of having a fake ID even though I was in my late 20's - always fun when the door man tells you to take off your heels because you are too tall for you ID)... Now at 37, most people guess I am in my mid to late 20's.

Edited September 3, 2015 by RecentChange

[Toodaloo]

As I get older I am considering dating younger men. I don't really want to go younger than 5-7 years younger though.

 

I also have shortened the maximum age that I want to date. I have dated and lived with a man 22 years my senior in the past. Never again. Max I will go is 10 yrs older at a push.

 

I am still young enough to have a life. I want someone who is going to enjoy that not be some washed up old crone or hold me back from things like having a family because he already has.

 

Bring on the boys. I am happy to be a cougar.

 

The younger ones also don't tend to be as messed up by the women in their past either... just saying...

[central]

For serious dating - i.e., potentially leading to a long term relationship - my rule is -10 to +5 years. For anything not serious, then anyone where there is mutual interest and desire to date - the greatest age difference so far has been 27 years younger.

[carhill]

How about men, would you date older, how old?

IME, one out of three, roughly, dates where I came to know the lady's real age were older.

 

In relationships and marriage, it was 50/50, with the oldest being nine years older and the 'youngest' old being my exW, only a few months older.

 

Overall, I viewed age as a non-issue. In general, I dated ten years younger to ten years older. That wasn't purposeful, rather how it worked out over 20 years.

[RedRobin]

I only date to find relationships (not interested in FWB or casual).

 

 

I'm a woman. I won't date a guy more than 5 years older, and he'd have to be pretty special for that.

 

 

Prefer my age or younger. My fiancée was 6 years older than me and died. Not doing that again. Plus older men don't have a habit of taking care of themselves like women do. In other words, differences in appearance based on age are likely to only grow between us... with him looking like the crypt keeper and me, not so much, lol.

 

 

IMHO, once most people hit their mid-thirties, their values are pretty much set and you get a pretty good perspective on their life trajectory is shaping up in terms of how they conduct their life and choices. So, that's the lower age limit for me. Mid-30's on a guy.

[regine_phalange]

I'm 27 and my ideal in this period would be 22 to 29. But I've been attracted to someone who was in his 50s, it only happened once in my lifetime though.

[compulsivedancer]

My boyfriend's about 5 years older. I'm 31, and my dating range is about 29-38. But, like many said before, I don't know if it's that I don't want to date younger, or that I don't want a guy in his 20s. I just don't want to relive those early days of flopping around trying to find a path in life. By 30s, most people have a pretty good idea about who they are and what they want in life.

 

Also, I want a guy who wants to settle down and raise a family. I feel like guys in their twenties are not a great bet for that, and guys in their forties don't want to start all over again with a new family.

[JustGettingBy]

23m here, I think 30 is my limit for now.

[stillafool]

What about you OP, what age do you like? I see you start alot of threads but never participate.

[craw]

22 years old over here, and yes, I would date an older woman. My last serious relationship was with a woman 9 years my senior.

 

I can't exactly pin point an age gap, but it's really all about maturity for me. I've still got a lot of growing up to do mind you, but I've had trouble making conversation with women younger than me.

 

Teenagers can be old souls, but quite a few of them aren't. My first love was actually younger than myself, but she was...something else haha.

 

I just want an actual conversation once in a while. I get bored otherwise.

 

If someone this young is mentioning about old souls, he gets it! Definitely would date.

[deadelvis]

I'm a 33 year old male. I prefer 28-35. I dated a woman who was 35 when I was 27. That's the biggest age gap I've ever had. I think within a couple years of my own age is most appropriate.

[down hearted]

What about you OP, what age do you like?

 

I don't think i can date younger, the most i would date is around 1-2 years younger. As far as dating older, no more than 8 year difference. Maybe with time these views would change, but for now it feels strange dating someone too young. I just don't find the attraction, sometimes its misleading though, some people do not look their age.

[PaperCrane]

At my age of 30, I need to date younger from a biological standpoint.

 

I want children and a family. It's cold, but the older a lady gets the higher the chances of problems not only for the child but for her as well.

[PaperCrane]

I once made the mistake of saying something very similar to this outloud to a group of women in their 30s who were berating me and my friends as to why we only dated women in their 20s.

 

[Zips up flame suit] Hope you get a more positive reaction than I did...

 

If I get harsh responses that's fine. I need what I need. I'm okay with that