60sdreamgirl Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 lol!! hey my wonderful shackers!! well i feel reaaaaal cheesy about posting this yall, but i signed up for this dating website...... yeah........ i DO get guys in real life promise, but u never know who's out there....... just wanted to take my chances here....... met this guy & we hit it off pretty nice...... talkin to him every day now......... we got the most craziest things in common, same values and all, so much alike it's pretty odd! so yeah.....he gets me all giddy never happened with any other guy before, don't know what to think! prob is...... we aint exactly within walking distance...... and we're too wrapped up in each other to call it just 'friends'.......... we flirt like CRAZY. so..... how do u take things a step further in online dating.............. and #2, is this really weird, i mean how am i gonna tell my folks and friends? that i fell in love w/ some guy over the net? they gonna think im bonkers....... haha what do u all think........ he should come visit me or something? but then he's gonna have expectations and all......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 60sdreamgirl Posted May 12, 2005 Author Share Posted May 12, 2005 hey everyone...... know my post probly sounds pretty trivial and all....... but if u got any insight, much appreciated....... thank ya Link to post Share on other sites
Skeered Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Hey dreamgirl, well I don't think your nuts at all because I have met the man of my dreams in just this way...actually we have been friends for about 5 months talkin on a forum and not lookin for a relationship when low and behold the timing was right and things started takin a turn in a direction I wasn't expecting. Well much like you I didn't know how my family would react, coming from a very Christian environment I thought they would freak out. My friends they all kinda did freak out but I felt it was a great idea to meet this person. Well my family was AWESOME so supportive and ready to meet him and so forth... Well about a month ago I met him for the first time, he flew to meet me and I tell you what the sparks where FLYING...I haven't ever felt like this for anyone in my life not even my soon to be ex of 10 years..these weren't just sparks they were fireworks. So he stays with me for a week and by the end of his stay we were both so totally attached and head over heels for eachother that he is actually back home plannin his move out here. So take it from me, if you feel it with this guy online and you have been 100% honest with yourself and feel he has with you...I say take the chance. I wouldn't have missed this ride for anything. Never in a million years would I have thought it could be like this. My family totally excepts him into our family as well which was huge, my daughter loves him and it's just been incredible. I am totally in love with this guy and I hope you find the same happiness as I have... Best of luck... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 60sdreamgirl Posted May 12, 2005 Author Share Posted May 12, 2005 thank u skeered! im just a li hesistant about what to do next --- do i wait for him to fly out here like your man did? , he just moved to his current location and is confused...... mad crazy for me tho....... but then he'd have to be givin up his job and all........ plus don't know how my fam would react.......... thinkin we might just have to pretend like we met in a store or somethin or is that too big of a lie? lol....... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 Until you meet in real life, an online relationship is nothing but a fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 60sdreamgirl Posted May 12, 2005 Author Share Posted May 12, 2005 hey holdon thats very true..........wise big question is......... who makes the first move? and what to tell my rents........ 'hey mom and dad..... i joined this website and met this guy....... he's coming up to visit me, can he spend a couple days?' they're gonna flip......... dont think im some bum tho......... im a good student and they trust me........ just have done some crazy shiz in the past and don't want them thinkin this is just another one of my lil games....... how to get them take me seriously here.......... any pointers......... much appreciated........ thanks in the meantime........ he keeps pressin that he wants to see me........ sounds just like another horny guy.......... or for real.......... hard to tell i guess~ Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Well, he should make the first move. (guys want to pursue, never forget it.) But sounds like he's already asked to come and see you. So that's okay. Since you live with your parents, he should stay in a hotel. About your shyness about telling people how you met.... Most people don't even care anymore, everyone meets online. I have a friend whose getting married to a guy she met online and nobody cares about that. But, if you think your parents will really care, just tell them you have a mutual friend who gave him your e-mail address... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 60sdreamgirl Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 good words holdon...... just donno how saying the mutual friend/email address thing will make me look...... it'll make me look i'm lying...... dont know if he would even like that.......i mean supposing in the future we get married or something like that, ( ), everyone's gonna wanna know how we met, and don't small little white lies when added up turn into one huge big ugly lie? ........ Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 holdon is right, meeting online is much more accepted now. but i think that's the least of your worries. believe me, i know it seems wonderful and you think you're in love but until you meet the guy, sadly what you're feeling is mostly in your head. this guy has huge 'blanks' in all areas of his life at the moment and it's human nature to fill in those blanks with good stuff. i urge you not to do this. even if (let's hope) he has been honest with you about himself, there may be very significant details he has kept hidden, unwittingly, because he is not aware of them. many people are dishonest with themselves. they believe they are a certain way because they want to believe that. but the reality may be very different. people are much, more more complex than they might appear in their telephone conversations and emails. you can like the guy, for sure, but without spending a good deal of time with him face to face, witnessing all his moods, how he treats people who get on his last nerve, whether he's kind to strangers, how his moods affect you both, you cannot know what you've got. you can guess it'll all be magical and you might be lucky and be right, but it's just as likely you won't be. to move things on you have to meet. just make sure it's somewhere public, take someone with you and let people know where you'll be. look, you don't have to be thinking about him moving and about what will happen to his job. those things are waaay in the future. just meet, see how you get on and you'll find the decision will probably be made for you. either you'll want to be together or you won't. also, i'd advise against having him stay with you - out of courtesy to your parents if nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Yes, let's worry about meeting him before you worry about the speech at your wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 60sdreamgirl Posted May 13, 2005 Author Share Posted May 13, 2005 lol....... thanks for putting things in perspective tuesday and holdon...... we are being real honest with each other, emphasizing the trust thing.......... he seems to value it a whole lot, always stressin it....... i think he's afraid i'm lyin to him or somethin, cos i seem too good to be true, ha.......... well same goes for him, never know till meetin i guess! just dont want him thinking i dont want him as bad as i do, since im not initiating it...... he might come around again sayin well why dont u come and visit me, lol, then i tell him 'hey you're the guy ur supposed to chase me'??? ha..... Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 When a guy starts to worry about whehter you like him, that when they fall for you! They fall for you when you give them space to realize how much they like you. Not when you're all up in their face. Be very very very positive whenever he suggests coming to see you, but LET HIM make the plans. Gush all over with the talk, but let him chase you, let him make the plans. It's work out. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 13, 2005 Share Posted May 13, 2005 Absolutely don't start talking about moving together. That's a long, long time away. Start with visits. Yes, he can come to you first, but you'll also have to go there - NOT to stay with him but to stay in his town and meet his friends and the people he knows. One of the things that tells you a lot about someone is his interaction with the people that know him. You need to know so much more about someone than the little you learn online! Link to post Share on other sites
Lilyann Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 I actually just went through the exact situation you did. I took a shot and signed up on a dating web site to "see what happened." Well this guy starting talking to me from a completely different state. I never thought anything of it. He was really nice and I enjoyed e-mailing him. Well after about two weeks I emailed him my #. This was over two months ago. I just returned from taking a trip to the town he lives in. I had this trip planned before I met him. He wanted to meet me before this. So in turn he drove 3 weeks before I was to meet him. He drove over 5 hours to spend only 24 hrs with me. This was all because he wanted to meet me on my own terms. We are now dating and seeing what happens. I know a lot more about him than I would someone that lived in my own town. You do not see interactions between society and the guy, but you do get a better judge of their character. You can often tell if a person is being honest with you by the response to your questions and what they want to know. I am more open on the phone to sharing things than in person because of the safety of the phone. My guy is this way, in turn the both of you may be as well. I do believe that the situaiton is possible, but both people need to be willing to put over 50% into the situation. I am telling you it is A LOT of work. I do question what I am doing because of this, but I know in the long run he is worth it. I have stressed over the online dating thing too. I just feel so desperate for doing it. My close friends know how we met and others know that it was from a mutual friend or in a chat room. I know you want to meet him. I could hardly stand not meeting him, now I can hardly stand living him. Have you seen pictures of each other? How long has this been going on? If you cangive any other details here I will try to send my advice your way. Do not give up though it is completly possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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