zombiebait1985 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Back in April I met a guy on a dating site and since then we have been talking via text etc every single day. We hang out quite often and we always have so much fun together. There's never a lull in the conversation and no awkward silences. He's stayed the night at my house twice in the past with nothing happening between us. He had to go do some things for his job and was in California for 2 months during which we still talked almost everyday. While he was gone we flirted shamelessly and some of conversations got very intense. Now he's back and he's staying with me a few days. Well last night when we went to bed we had sex for the first time. Before anything happened I kissed him. He kissed me back briefly but that was it. He said before hand he was afraid sex would hurt our friendship but I honestly don't think it will. Neither of us is looking for anything serious right now but we both miss the perks of a relationship (sex, cuddling, etc.). My question is this what's with the lack of kissing? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Well.. I don't know about HIM.... But I LOVE kissing - and for me its not really an "emotional" thing, but in a causal circumstance, its a physical / sexual thing. And.... with the few causal partners I have had - I noticed that kissing falls by the way side. Most recently when this particular guy and I first hooked up we had an intense kissing / make out session.... but after sex, less kissing (and its complicated, we shouldn't had sex... so "issues") I even said to him "for me kissing isn't an emotional thing - I just enjoy it" and his response was surprise "Its not?" For what ever reason, I think kissing is more intimate than sex for some people. And if they are trying to protect their emotions / not become "attached" I noticed that kissing sometimes is resisted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiebait1985 Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 That was my thought. I think for him there's more of an emotional aspect to kissing. I'm like you though, I love kissing. Sometimes if he's a good kisser that's all it takes. He's been royally screwed over in the past and he has said the only thing he's scared of is getting his heart broken again. So I'm thinking he's afraid of getting attached and then getting hurt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Was the limited kissing any good? I agree with you and RC about emotions for a lot of ppl but it could also be that he just sucks at it. It tends to be a challenge for guys, ime. I love kissing too btw - I can do that for an hour or two and feel just as caught up w/my partner as if I'd been talking to them the whole time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiebait1985 Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Yea the little bit of a kiss I did get was good. I would love to just spend an hour kissing him. He's gonna be staying here a few more days so I'm hoping I get the opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Back in April I met a guy on a dating site and since then we have been talking via text etc every single day. We hang out quite often and we always have so much fun together. There's never a lull in the conversation and no awkward silences. He's stayed the night at my house twice in the past with nothing happening between us. He had to go do some things for his job and was in California for 2 months during which we still talked almost everyday. While he was gone we flirted shamelessly and some of conversations got very intense. Now he's back and he's staying with me a few days. Well last night when we went to bed we had sex for the first time. Before anything happened I kissed him. He kissed me back briefly but that was it. He said before hand he was afraid sex would hurt our friendship but I honestly don't think it will. Neither of us is looking for anything serious right now but we both miss the perks of a relationship (sex, cuddling, etc.). My question is this what's with the lack of kissing? Some people just don't like to kiss. Maybe they've told they aren't good kissers. However, some people view it as more intimate than sex. These types of people will enjoy sex and won't even during that time. If they have any fear of intimacy or are attempting to prevent a close relationship to develop, there will be very little foreplay in fact. They just get down to business so to speak. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 He made it clear he didn't want sex to HURT your FRIENDSHIP. Kissing you (I guess) would be too romantic and he just wanted to do the act with you. Already you are questioning his behavior yet you agreed that you too wanted to just be friends. If this is true I don't think you two should have sex because you are already too emotionally involved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author zombiebait1985 Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I disagree. I just really enjoy kissing, as I've already said. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 I disagree. I just really enjoy kissing, as I've already said. Then why not get a boyfriend that you can kiss and have all the sex you want? This guy does not want to be a boyfriend but a friend to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GypsyGirl966 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Relationships come in all flavors, so it is a waste of energy to try to categorize what you are doing here. If it feels good for both of you, just go where the current takes you. As for kissing, I initially like some kissing, but then it completely gets in the way for me. Mouth kissing in particular can become annoying and distracting from other things that are going on. I'd much rather have someone kissing my neck, my shoulders, my back, the insides of my thighs, my stomach, etc. Much better. I did enough making out in high school and college to last me a life time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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