Ex Boyfriend says we fight too much right now to get back together?

[Leaa]

We were dating for about 2 years. In July he went away with his friends, while he was away we got in an argument via text and he broke up with me. He said he was tired of fighting, and I was always mad and didn't give him time with his friends. When we first broke up I would still try and talk to him but he was being very difficult, and just needed time. About 4 weeks after our breakup we started hanging out again. And now, he even takes me on dates and holds my hand in public again. He kisses me in front of his friends, tells me he loves me, etc. Yet, he won't be my boyfriend again. Also, he's not much for texting and when we first broke up he would ignore all my messages. But recently has been texting me more which makes me happy. Everything is sunshine lollipops and rainbows until I ask "what are we?" or "when are we going to officially get back together?"

Yesterday we hung out, I told him I wanted him to be my boyfriend again, he said "we just fight too much right now." It made me upset and I cried, which made him angry. He hates when i cry.

 

Will he ever actually get back together with me?

What can I do to prove to him that I'm worth it?

 

The hard thing is, he sees everything as fighting. If i wanted to talk about something personal he sees it as fighting. Or if I tell him something makes me sad he thinks its fighting. In the past, I feel like we would fight because we would never resolve anything. Because when I try to resolve things he accuses me of bringing up the past or starting fights for no reason. I like to solve problems instantly and he likes to sleep on them or let them slowly fade away.

[d0nnivain]

You won't get over him or heal from this break up if you keep him in your life. You have to assume you will never get more than what you have right now & that will end as soon as he finds somebody he fancies.

 

 

Save your dignity. Break things off with him permanently because he doesn't value you or what you want (to get back together) and he thinks you two are incompatible which is why he views everything as a fight.

[TaraMaiden2]

What you fail to realise is that you have been relegated to a role of 'exclusive FWB'.

 

In other words, he has you when he wants you, but he doesn't want you enough to be what you want.

d0nnivain is right.

 

You need to break this off completely, because while you're in limbo and uncertain, he has his cookie, and is quite happy to keep nibbling it....

[basil67]

If you change the word "fight" to "there seem to be too many things in this relationship which make you unhappy", then perhaps it will make more sense to you.

 

In short, he doesn't like that you keep bringing up things which make you unhappy. And truth be told, a good relationship shouldn't make you unhappy to an extent that your partner gets tired of hearing about issues.

 

Look at the issues you raise: Are they significant things which point to imcompatibility? Or are they minor things where you need to chill and not bother raising?

[nadine5]

We were dating for about 2 years. In July he went away with his friends, while he was away we got in an argument via text and he broke up with me. He said he was tired of fighting, and I was always mad and didn't give him time with his friends. When we first broke up I would still try and talk to him but he was being very difficult, and just needed time. About 4 weeks after our breakup we started hanging out again. And now, he even takes me on dates and holds my hand in public again. He kisses me in front of his friends, tells me he loves me, etc. Yet, he won't be my boyfriend again. Also, he's not much for texting and when we first broke up he would ignore all my messages. But recently has been texting me more which makes me happy. Everything is sunshine lollipops and rainbows until I ask "what are we?" or "when are we going to officially get back together?"

Yesterday we hung out, I told him I wanted him to be my boyfriend again, he said "we just fight too much right now." It made me upset and I cried, which made him angry. He hates when i cry.

 

Will he ever actually get back together with me?

What can I do to prove to him that I'm worth it?

 

The hard thing is, he sees everything as fighting. If i wanted to talk about something personal he sees it as fighting. Or if I tell him something makes me sad he thinks its fighting. In the past, I feel like we would fight because we would never resolve anything. Because when I try to resolve things he accuses me of bringing up the past or starting fights for no reason. I like to solve problems instantly and he likes to sleep on them or let them slowly fade away.

 

 

I really appreciate everyone's advice on this site but there are way too many negative responses. I'm going to tell you something positive.

 

He is hanging out with you. Kissing you. Telling you he loves you. These are ALL GREAT SIGNS.

 

If you really want him back, you need to STOP talking about the relationship! Just stop, cold turkey! Stop asking him when you're getting back together and all that stuff. If you are not patient enough to not do this, then drop him and see if he comes crawling back. But if you like being with him and want to be with him, you need to do the following things:

 

1) Let HIM chase you. Do not chase him.

2) Give him the impression that you are open to dating other people since you are not in a relationship.

3) Stop talking about the relationship.

4) Do not pick fights. ANY. Be friendly and fun but do not discuss anything too deep or serious unless he brings it up first. Do not be negative, even when you feel like it. If you're feeling negative, stay home and do not see him and tell him you're busy.

5) Do not make him a priority. Treat him like a friend.

 

This is the advice I can give you if you want him back. Take it or leave it. Good luck!