Research shows that people that have children are unhappier than those without

[Haydn]

One of mine scored a `brace` today in Football/Soccer.

 

I was on cloud 9 and insisted on annoying as many people as i could by relating the event over and over again in magical detail and with as much punditry as i could fit in....

 

Later on after the happiness had subsided into a gentle but content lull i discovered that she had being lying about certain aspects of her maths homework..Meanwhile the other one had emptied the hoover in a valiant attempt to assist me in my cleaning chores. The contents are currently blocking the downstairs toilet and dust is a bit of a hazard.

 

Double edged sword....

 

Marvelous!

 

Wouldn`t change a thing.

[thefooloftheyear]

How many times in this thread have I said that different people can have different experiences??? trollololol Who is ball busting here?

 

Yes, you can find older women who are more in shape, but generally it gets harder to stay in shape as one gets older (true for men and women). I'm not even sure what we are debating. Truth be told there's only so much exercise can do, esp when it comes to sagging skin.

 

 

Just so everyone knows, Im not saying dont have kids because you might have some negative physical consequences. I'm just sayin, theres a not so sunny side to childbearing, and women bear the brunt of it. Plenty of women love their kids but don't love the post-baby body.

 

 

Oh...lets be clear here...I'm the one doing the ball busting...

 

But the same logic can apply to men as well...Most guys my age look like they are carrying a full term kid themselves..>I dont...I look better than most guys at any age..It takes a crap load of work, for sure...Thats my choice...Its a sacrifice..

 

But I wont throw my hands up and accept it, as you are seemingly doing...Id rather say, "hey, its a lot of work and most women wont have it in them, but if you want a good body after pregnancy its possible, but not easy"

 

Because quite frankly, that's what it usually boils down to....Unfortunately, we live in a society where everyone has to be included and felt like they did their absolute best, when they did absolutely nothing...

 

TFY

[autumnnight]

Oh...lets be clear here...I'm the one doing the ball busting...

 

But the same logic can apply to men as well...Most guys my age look like they are carrying a full term kid themselves..>I dont...I look better than most guys at any age..It takes a crap load of work, for sure...Thats my choice...Its a sacrifice..

 

But I wont throw my hands up and accept it, as you are seemingly doing...Id rather say, "hey, its a lot of work and most women wont have it in them, but if you want a good body after pregnancy its possible, but not easy"

 

Because quite frankly, that's what it usually boils down to....Unfortunately, we live in a society where everyone has to be included and felt like they did their absolute best, when they did absolutely nothing...

 

TFY

 

I have to say there is something about this that does not quite sit right. The unspoken implication is that any woman whose life does not revolve around being a size 6 again after kids is....lazy? For me, it isn't about laziness, it is about priorities. At over 5'9", I'll probably be in the size 10/12 range till I die lol. I exercise, I try to eat healthy foods. I am active. I have a full life. Sometimes acceptance is about depth and not about laziness

[hotpotato]

Oh...lets be clear here...I'm the one doing the ball busting...

 

But the same logic can apply to men as well...Most guys my age look like they are carrying a full term kid themselves..>I dont...I look better than most guys at any age..It takes a crap load of work, for sure...Thats my choice...Its a sacrifice..

 

But I wont throw my hands up and accept it, as you are seemingly doing...Id rather say, "hey, its a lot of work and most women wont have it in them, but if you want a good body after pregnancy its possible, but not easy"

 

Because quite frankly, that's what it usually boils down to....Unfortunately, we live in a society where everyone has to be included and felt like they did their absolute best, when they did absolutely nothing...

 

TFY

How many x have we gone theough this...No amount of exercise is going to make boobs re-perk and undrop, snd even plenty of fit women have loose skin from childbearing. You are acting like a girl can do a few crunches and be back to normal...Hell, even ifbb prid have issues with their abdominal walls SPLITTING bc of pregnancy. Imagine a woman who isnt or doesnt care to be super athletic or an ifbb pro bodybuilder.

I think you are trolling me, really...

[thefooloftheyear]

I have to say there is something about this that does not quite sit right. The unspoken implication is that any woman whose life does not revolve around being a size 6 again after kids is....lazy? For me, it isn't about laziness, it is about priorities. At over 5'9", I'll probably be in the size 10/12 range till I die lol. I exercise, I try to eat healthy foods. I am active. I have a full life. Sometimes acceptance is about depth and not about laziness

 

 

Nope....not saying that at all...

 

Look, ladies...

 

All I tried to say, is that rather than just accepting that a woman's body is going to be "ruined" by the catastrophic event of childbirth, or decide to not have children for fear of potential negative body issues, that there are ways to avoid (and even reverse), some of the negative body issues that many women report from childbirth...

 

Is there anything wrong or false about any of this line of logic?

 

That;s it....nothing more and nothing less..

 

TFY

[autumnnight]

Nope....not saying that at all...

 

Look, ladies...

 

All I tried to say, is that rather than just accepting that a woman's body is going to be "ruined" by the catastrophic event of childbirth, or decide to not have children for fear of potential negative body issues, that there are ways to avoid (and even reverse), some of the negative body issues that many women report from childbirth...

 

Is there anything wrong or false about any of this line of logic?

 

That;s it....nothing more and nothing less..

 

TFY

 

That makes sense.

 

And trying to fool or stop time by not having kids isn't going to work anyway. I don't care what you do: a 60 year old woman is NEVER going to look like she did at 25. Even if she weighs the same, she won't look the same. Even if she wears underwires from age 11, her boobs at 60 will NOT be the same, etc. My mother is in great shape in her 70's and actually is probably a tad underweight. She still has "grandma triceps" lol.

[Got it]

Nope....not saying that at all...

 

Look, ladies...

 

All I tried to say, is that rather than just accepting that a woman's body is going to be "ruined" by the catastrophic event of childbirth, or decide to not have children for fear of potential negative body issues, that there are ways to avoid (and even reverse), some of the negative body issues that many women report from childbirth...

 

Is there anything wrong or false about any of this line of logic?

 

That;s it....nothing more and nothing less..

 

TFY

 

Sure, I think there is a reasonable spectrum for both sexes to expect from their sex, and the opposite, and the impact of time, childbearing, etc. So while, yes, fitness will help in some areas it won't in others and this need for external perfection needs to be evaluated for the unhealthiness that it actually entails.

 

Life makes people more interesting and some "weathering" is actually a good and wonderful thing. Childbearing will make women look, well more womanly, and less like teenage girls and that is a good thing!

 

And, I have found for myself, this ability to just let go of perfection and having both you and the other person have some flaws is liberating and empowering. I found it so much harder to be 20 than I do to be nearly 40.

 

And, I must say, I am aging quite nicely and think that time has only enhanced me.

 

And my husband is loving the pregnancy effect on me (pig that he is), and appreciating the attributes.

 

But then I am not against surgery for a little nip/tuck afterwards and have already put him on notice I am getting a personal trainer as soon as I can to get me back in horseback riding shape. Will need lots of core work!

 

So far I love the impact my stepkids have had on our marriage and what this child has had thus far. Not easier but life is for living and I like a dirty and crazy life. So it works for me.

[hotpotato]

That makes sense.

 

And trying to fool or stop time by not having kids isn't going to work anyway. I don't care what you do: a 60 year old woman is NEVER going to look like she did at 25. Even if she weighs the same, she won't look the same. Even if she wears underwires from age 11, her boobs at 60 will NOT be the same, etc. My mother is in great shape in her 70's and actually is probably a tad underweight. She still has "grandma triceps" lol.

I think thats the issue.. Most 30, 40 year old women dont want to lool 60 or 70.

 

Buy anywayz, back on topic. I remember watching a vid about this subject long ago. Its hard to measure because some phases in parenting are harder than others. If you ask someone who has just had their 1st baby, thats a lot of adjustment. Also, most people arent going to be completely honest if they very much dislike parentimg.

[xxoo]

Lower breasts and loose skin post pregnancy is not necessarily something that needs to be fixed via surgery. It also doesn't equal looking 70

 

All the body stuff is a big "So what?" It's a body, it is beautiful and sexy with firm breasts or with drooping breasts. It's normal and healthy and a vibrant, confident, fit woman is a sexy woman.

[kilgore]

Lower breasts and loose skin post pregnancy is not necessarily something that needs to be fixed via surgery. It also doesn't equal looking 70

 

All the body stuff is a big "So what?" It's a body, it is beautiful and sexy with firm breasts or with drooping breasts. It's normal and healthy and a vibrant, confident, fit woman is a sexy woman.

 

Totally agree. My wife's body has been affected by having kids and I love her body for that. Besides my body ain't what it used to be either.

[hotpotato]

Lower breasts and loose skin post pregnancy is not necessarily something that needs to be fixed via surgery. It also doesn't equal looking 70

 

All the body stuff is a big "So what?" It's a body, it is beautiful and sexy with firm breasts or with drooping breasts. It's normal and healthy and a vibrant, confident, fit woman is a sexy woman.

Its cool that you would be fine with it, but many women are not. Unfirtunately, some womens breasts to completely deflate

I an get why some women would want surgery. Sometimes it does look like something generally associated with older women.

[kilgore]

Its cool that you would be fine with it, but many women are not. Unfirtunately, some womens breasts to completely deflate

I an get why some women would want surgery. Sometimes it does look like something generally associated with older women.

 

But then the couple's sags wouldn't match anymore

[xxoo]

Its cool that you would be fine with it, but many women are not. Unfirtunately, some womens breasts to completely deflate

I an get why some women would want surgery. Sometimes it does look like something generally associated with older women.

 

I'm sure this happens, but it isn't typical. I've spent a lot of summers spent on the beach or at the pool with mommy friends in bikinis, and I've yet to see a young mom look like a 70 year old.

[hotpotato]

But then the couple's sags wouldn't match anymore

 

Kilgore, ftw

[hotpotato]

I'm sure this happens, but it isn't typical. I've spent a lot of summers spent on the beach or at the pool with mommy friends in bikinis, and I've yet to see a young mom look like a 70 year old.

 

I wouldnt be surprised if it were fairly common. Ive seen some oretty unhappy post preggy boobs, so sad they fall out of the bra if she leans forward. A lot of women get mommy makeovers in their 30s after having several kids and gravity. Some of theur boobs just fall if they raje off their beas, so i hear. Even some very fit girls have problems with the loose belly skin. *shrug*

[xxoo]

I wouldnt be surprised if it were fairly common. Ive seen some oretty unhappy post preggy boobs, so sad they fall out of the bra if she leans forward. A lot of women get mommy makeovers in their 30s after having several kids and gravity. Some of theur boobs just fall if they raje off their beas, so i hear. Even some very fit girls have problems with the loose belly skin. *shrug*

 

Spending a lot of time on cosmetic surgery sites probably makes it seem more common than it is. Most of us live happily with our droopier breasts and stretchy bellies, rock our bikinis, and get busy playing in the sand and surf.

[kilgore]

Spending a lot of time on cosmetic surgery sites probably makes it seem more common than it is. Most of us live happily with our droopier breasts and stretchy bellies, rock our bikinis, and get busy playing in the sand and surf.

 

I also try to rock my bikini. Lol

[xxoo]

I also try to rock my bikini. Lol

 

There is no other way to wear a bikini

 

And this may get back to the secret of happiness. A happy person who is busy enjoying life may be less fussed about some skin changes and breast droop. Similarly, a happy person is seeing the best in their choice to have or not have kids, and are focusing on the positives.

[hotpotato]

Spending a lot of time on cosmetic surgery sites probably makes it seem more common than it is. Most of us live happily with our droopier breasts and stretchy bellies, rock our bikinis, and get busy playing in the sand and surf.

 

Im sure its not that uncommon. Ive also seen the same issues in figure chics and other women well outside of cosmetic surgery sites Its just something that happens. *shrug* I understand my style may seem kind of harsh, but really, ill admit my boobs need work, too. Theyve become pretty awful.

[autumnnight]

I'll go ahead and confess if I won a million dollars, I would probably get some boobie help too lol. And then hire a personal chef and trainer.

 

Until then I'll have to be a normal woman lol

[Quiet Storm]

I feel that if someone is so self conscious that they would choose not to have kids because of possible stretch marks or droopier boobs, then I would say this person is probably going to be unhappy whether they have kids or not. They will find faults in themselves and others instead of focusing on the positive, and that certainly affects their happiness.

 

Plus, if someone's happiness is all wrapped in their looks, they should work those issues out before having a kid anyway. They will just model that insecure and overly critical behavior and pass it on to their kids.

 

No way does the average mom body look 70! I also don't think most husbands expect their wives to look like porn stars.

[Got it]

I'll go ahead and confess if I won a million dollars, I would probably get some boobie help too lol. And then hire a personal chef and trainer.

 

Until then I'll have to be a normal woman lol

 

You don't need a million dollars! A lift is around 15K, a chef is around 60K annual, and a trainer . . . is priceless.

 

Totally not related to child damage but my sister had a boob job, got them enlarged and lift and they did an amazing job! She added in a nose job into it (totally not needed and to be honest can't see the difference), and rehab wasn't too bad. I helped her as she couldn't lift her arms but she was back to regular life in a week.

 

Just had a friend get a reconstruction job done after a double mastectomy and got in much smaller ones. They look great (obviously far more scarring) and she really likes them.

 

Going through my pregnancy I am seeing the sizes they are increases to and decided what size I would get. Normally a C, I think DD would be great and hubby is very happy at the current DDD. Not going to happen but he can enjoy them now.

 

Happy people see life glass half full regardless of what is thrown at them, negative people, half empty regardless. That, I think, is the biggest indicator. What kind of person are you?

[No Limit]

There are people who actually enjoy being parents; I hope they didn't ask teenage parents in their study who of course would prefer partying? As for nannies; a nanny won't replace love and attention given by the parents.

[xxoo]

Happy people see life glass half full regardless of what is thrown at them, negative people, half empty regardless. That, I think, is the biggest indicator. What kind of person are you?

 

Yep, that is really what this issue comes down to, I believe.

 

I must be a glass half full person, because I nursed for years and I think my breasts look great!

[RedRobin]

I think kids are great. I might have adopted if my fiancée hadn't died or I'd met someone earlier who would convince me he'd be an equal co parent.

 

 

I never had a desire to have kids out of my own body... for all the reasons stated here. Call it vain... fine. I have no stretch marks. My boobs may not look like they did when *I* was 20... but they look like LOTS of women's did when THEY were 20.... and that's pretty sweet. My stomach is still nice and firm. So is the rest of me. I really, really like that I don't have a moms body. Sorry, that's how I feel.

 

 

That said, I haven't noticed men being any less attracted to a fit, healthy woman who has had kids. *shrug* Nope. Not a bit of difference that I can tell. They are still gettin' with, and marrying those women (if they are divorced) or staying with them (and faithful) if they aren't divorced. My parents are one such happy pair.

 

 

... OTOH, I think raising kids is a raw deal for all but a small handful women. I don't see most men being active fathers or doing much more than going to work... Not that tough. I've worked my whole life. Maybe I'm spoiled by my family's example. Hard to say.

 

 

Pair that with my body going to hell?? And the planet being overcrowded anyway? Naah... Not for me.