Grapesofwrath Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 A few years ago, I was involved in a LDR with a deeply toxic, highly manipulative man. It took me a while to figure out what he was really all about, as he was love-bombing me and deceiving me since the first day and the distance aspect made it harder to put the pieces together. We were together for about 15 months, all-in. Would see each other every weekend, or every other weekend. He met my family and I met his. I even let him meet my children. Turns out he had been seeing other women behind my back and lying about it the entire time. He lied to me about them and lied to them about me. Masterful manipulation and gaslighting. I caught him outright multiple times. He was also emotionally and verbally abusive, with one episode of physical violence that he then denied and claimed was "just a joke." When I showed him a picture of the bruise he left on me, he said, "Oh, boo hoo hoo. Are you going to report me to the authorities?" After that, I ended it (finally) and went NC. That was about 18 months ago. I blocked him on all emails/texts/social media and moved on with my life. He is something of a celebrity, so I would often see his name, but I got used to that and it didn't bother me anymore. I haven't had another healthy relationship since ending it with him because I think I'm still traumatized by it. Last night I received an email from him. He has a new email address that wasn't on my block list. It was a forwarded link to a YouTube video. He sent it along like you would send a link to a friend. No message. It's a funny video about a topic that is an interest of mine. Right up my alley, and I'd already seen it actually. I deleted the email and won't respond, but it really rattled me and I couldn't go back to sleep. Is this just the beginning? If I don't address it will he continue? I just want him out of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 Block the new email address asap (it sounds like you've done so already). With any luck, this won't happen again. The most important thing to do in such circumstances is not reciprocate, respond, or give any impression that you got the note, read it, or had any reaction to it whatsoever. Starve his desire to 'catch' you, and hopefully he'll move on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 He is Fishing.... If he is a celebrity of any repute, he is used to getting his ego stroked by those around him. Telling him how wonderful and talented he is. He needs to be in that bubble. You leaving him does not fit into the narrative he has of himself that he can project upon an unsuspecting public. For now, just do not respond, block the email address and go about your business. If he continues with it, you actually have one advantage that most of us don't...the mere fact he IS a celebrity. And by that I mean since perception is reality to most people who are fans of one person or another, you could put his idiotic behavior on blast on Social Media if you retained any of the evidence such as the abuse via photo, email or text. Of course THAT is a worst case scenario if he does not relent. But always remember that a celebrity can only remain such if he has some sort of reputation to uphold and put out there for the public. You actually hold all the cards here. If he tries anything else you would have the ability to be a Turd in his punchbowl. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Strongrunner Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 The guy is just testing the water, see if you will react. Keep the door closed, block the e-mail address and don't give it another thought. He will soon get bored when you don't reply. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grapesofwrath Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 Thank you for the kind responses. It's incredible to me how, after all this time, just the site of his name in my email inbox can fill me with panic. I deleted the email without responding and blocked this new address. Hopefully that is the end of it. Part of what is so galling is that this person actually thinks that I would welcome an email from him, after what he's done and after I amputated him from my life. As you say, Space, he just can't fathom why I would not want him in my life. It doesn't fit into his narrative. The truth is, however, that not only is a narcissist and misanthrope, he is also getting older. So now, at age 53, he doesn't attract women like he used to. His best accomplishments are behind him. Whatever. I need to stop thinking about him. I guess that's the worst part...this email has me thinking about him again after I had successfully erased him from my consciousness. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I hope he does not contact you again, but I bet he will try. Link to post Share on other sites
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